Dependence
by ObsessiveDevil
Summary: James get's ill, and Snape is the only person that can keep him alive. Of course, Snape will only help him for a price. SSJP. Dom!Sev, and Sub!James
1. Chapter 1

**Dependence **

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

Summary: James gets ill with Tractamosa! (a completely made up disease), and has to rely on Severus making him a potion each weak to keep him alive. However, Severus only ever does things for a price, and his price is James' humiliation! Submissive James and dominant sadistic Severus.

**Disclaimer: I Don't own Harry Potter, I'm not making any money from this.**

**Remus and Peter were Marauders as well and they deserve recognition, as such, they are portrayed as just as trouble making and popular in this story as James and Sirius.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 1- My Life is in His Hands?

It was hot, so hot that it truly felt like the fires of Hell had burst out of their underground cavern and had infiltrated his bedroom, although in all honesty he could not say so with certainty, because he'd never been to Hell, and he would like to keep it that way. The throbbing headache and aggravating pins and needles on the base of his feet were mere agitations: nothing compared to his fever. All he wanted was to get rid of the thick quilt that was covering him. The 15 year old turned over in pain and shoved the covers off himself with a moan, however, they were just pulled back up with a heartfelt sigh from the man sitting next to his bed. He was tall, impressive, with short dark hair and warm brown eyes.

"Sorry son, you've got to keep them on." He explained, trying to tackle his teenage son back under the quilt. "I'm not doing it to be mean." His voice that was gravely, suggesting he hadn't spoken in a very long time. The boy in bed simply moaned.

"… Yes you are." he whimpered slightly, and the man sighed again, he too was having trouble stopping himself from taking away the covers as he could see his son was in a lot of pain, but the best way to get rid of a fever was to sweat it out. He hated that his son thought he was only being mean when he was only doing it because he cared. It was heartbreaking to watch his son, his only child, in such pain. He looked across the room as the door creaked open and his wife entered. She too had worry plastered all over her face. Their son had been ill before, but he had never been affected like this.

Behind her followed a Healer from St. Mungo's; an average sized man with honey blonde hair and arms that seemed to long for his body.

His wife sat down next to him and the Healer held a steady hand to the teen's sweat covered forehead. Said teen was trying to concentrate on his parents, but thanks to his fever he was failing miserably. The Healer dragged off the covers, to which the boy gave a happy, contented, little noise, as if that was all he had ever asked for from the world, and the long armed man cast a few spells over the boy's body.

Soon, the heat, not only that of his fever, but that which a spell generates, grew to be too much, and the boy passed out; shallow breaths showing his pain, even in his sleep. The Healer stroked his greying beard and cleared his throat. He opened the teens mouth, eyes set in concentration, and took a swab of saliva from inside.

"What are you going to do?" asked the only female in the room, standing up. Her voice was shaky in a panic that can only be achieved by a mother with a sick child.

"Just a small test to see if my suspicions are correct- although I hope they aren't." The Healer replied, not even noticing that his carelessly slipped words greatly affected the terrified parents.

The lady sat back down, now even more worried than before, and the Healer tested the saliva and sighed, he turned to the parents. He bit his lip, not wanting to be the barer of bad news, as he so often was in his career. They, the parents, both stood, and clasped hands in anticipation.

"Your son has Tractamosa." he said softly, and carried on at their blank expressions. Understandable, since the disease was quite rare. In his medical career he had only heard of one other case from the UK. "It's a disease which sends some of the cells in the body into overdrive - giving the impression of a common bug it creates symptoms like headaches, dehydration, pins and needles, various aches and pain, and itchiness, just to name a few. None of these symptoms are dangerous, just mild agitation. But the fever… if left alone it would burn him from the inside."

The other two adults in the room stared at him, horrified.

"He's going to spontaneously combust!" asked the incredulous father. He didn't believe it, but he was still pushed to ask: "What can we do?"

"It's not spontaneous, it hasn't reached it's worst stage yet." _Believe it or not_, the Healer thought, looking down at the suffering teenager. Tractamosa was such a violent disease. Once it did reach it's worst stage the flames would completely consume him. "The illness will only ever lay dormant for a week at a time. Given the right potion at the right time, it's possible he could live a normal life. However, he'd need to have the antidote at least once a week." He explained as evenly as he could. He almost smiled as the mother gave a heartfelt sigh of relief.

"That's not so bad."

"Yes…" The Healer agreed, "But the original creator died recently, and he only taught one other person how to do it. The potion doesn't take long to create, but it's _very _complex. It's possible he can do it in time to save your son, but it will be a close call."

The father stood, almost angrily.

"Then call whoever it is straight away! I don't even care his price, I'll pay anything he asks for." He pleaded. "Just save my son."

- X -

James Potter stood in front of his headmaster. The first day back and he was already in trouble. He couldn't see how though. He hadn't caused any trouble on the train, he'd watched the sorting without a commotion, and eaten the feast like a good boy. Pete had suggested that Dumbledore was suspicious, because James was never this well behaved - and he had to agree.

Next to him stood Severus Snape, lanky hair, large nose, pale skin and all, looking just as bored as James was confused. It seemed Snape knew why he was here, which only served to aggravate James more. He couldn't help but notice the headmaster looking at them both through his half-moon spectacles, a twinkle in his eye that James couldn't decipher whether it was amused or deadly serious. That at least told James he wasn't in any serious trouble. If he was in serious trouble there would be no twinkle at all.

Then again, he still couldn't see how he was in _any_ trouble. He played with the ends of his sleeves as Dumbledore began to speak.

"You may or may not be aware, Mr. Potter, you came very close to death towards the very end of the holidays."

James looked at his feet. He remembered being really hot, and he remembered passing out, just after a Healer came. His parents didn't tell him much about it, and he couldn't really remember how he had recovered. His memories of the entire event were hazy at best, and in all honesty he would rather not think of a time when he had been pathetically claimed by an illness. He glanced a Snape, did they have to discuss this in front of Snivellus? He didn't want the dungeon bat having any material to pester him with.

Dumbledore nodded his head, he knew James didn't remember much.

"The illness you suffered from will return, if you do not drink a specific potion - Ah, Elixir - once a week, on a Friday, at eight pm, as that is when you took your first."

"But I didn't…"

"Yes you did- you just don't remember."

James chewed on this inside of his cheek thoughtfully, suddenly wishing he could remember. Dumbledore had just told his enemy that he was suffering from memory loss, and he really didn't want Snape to know he was ill. After all, it would give the Slytherin a perfect excuse to extract revenge if James was weak and unable to fight back.

"And where do I get this potion from?" He muttered.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a little more dangerously, so naturally James grew a little more suspicious. It was impossible to spend as much time in the headmaster's office as he did, without getting to know how to read Dumbledore. Something _interesting _was about to happen.

"It's called the 'Elixir of Frozen Fire' and Severus is the only person alive who can brew it successfully." Was the old man's response, with an almost proud wave of his wrinkled hand in Snape's direction.

James' eyes went wide and he glanced at the Slytherin again, who was examining Fawkes with a polite interest, and decidedly not looking anywhere near James.

"I'd rather be sick for the rest of my life then depend on that greasy git!" he shouted spitefully. Snape turned his head, looking over his shoulder to give him a bored look, as if he found James to be an overreacting child.

"You don't understand James." carried on Dumbledore, ignoring the teens comment, and Severus' patronising stare. "If you don't take the potion then there is no way you would survive."

The headmaster looked way to serious for this to be some kind of elaborate joke. James gulped. He didn't want to believe his life was on the line. He'd never even considered dying until he was at least sixty.

"You mean _my life _is in _his hands?_" he asked, jerking a thumb at Snape, who was still observing Fawkes. Dumbledore nodded sombrely, and the Gryffindor was already mapping out his will in his mind. Snape had probably been waiting for a chance like this, the git was only there to watch James die, preferably screaming in agony and begging to be saved. But James wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"I'll make the Elixir for you to drink each Friday."

James head snapped up and his jaw fell down. Which was a painful combination that he reminded himself not to try again.

"Excuse me?"

"I'll make it." Severus confirmed, "Of course, that is, _if _you can pay me."

James looked at the floor, whatever price Severus named he probably wouldn't be able to afford it. He could hardly rely on his parents for help when they were struggling to build back up an empire that had fallen because of his grandfather's gambling problem, and he had no doubt that any price Snape named would be far above the two Galleons and 14 Sickles he had in his pocket.

"I don't have any money." He spat defensively.

"Actually, I was thinking something a little bit different from money." Was his reply in a cool, amused voice. Snape smirked at him.

James glared back heatedly, he didn't even _want_ to know what Snape was going to suggest. If this had been a private arrangement he might have just jinxed the potion out of the boy, or at least landed a decent punch for even daring to suggest something so disgusting. But Dumbledore was watching them closely, so James was unable to put his little knowledge of the Unforgivables to the test and land an Imperio on the Slytherin. As it was the boy just continued to smirk, the expression looking cold and evil on his face.

"One order a day. Whatever I chose to be your task for the day, you must do to the best of your ability. In return I'll make the Elixir for you each week." He negotiated calmly, taking amusement in the internal struggle that was obviously going on inside the Gryffindor.

"Orders? What's the point in that?" James asked before he could stop himself. He wary of the idea of being controlled Snape, which he felt was completely justifiable. "What do you get out of it?" He mumbled, mostly to himself, as he cast distrusting eyes on the other teen.

"Watching you humiliate yourself." Severus replied anyway, smirking again; triumphantly. James glared a little more, not feeling as confident as he hoped he looked.

"_Seven_ orders for _one_ potion?" he hissed indignantly.

"No. Seven orders for your _life_."

The messy haired Quidditch player looked to the headmaster for help.

"Can't you do something about this?" he asked, but Dumbledore just shook his head ruefully. James did not miss that he too was sending slightly suspicious looks towards the Slytherin. The headmaster could hardly pick favourites, but if he could James had every reason to think he would be near the top of the list.

"As bad as this sounds when said aloud, your life has nothing to do with Hogwarts, unless you are killed by something directly related to school, like another student. That effectively means that your death, and arrangements to do with it, have nothing to do with me, and it is not my place to step in. The deal is between you and Mr. Snape, and therefore the matter of payment should be sorted out between the two of you."

James growled low in his throat at the explanation, the old man had been right, that did sound bad. He directed his next question to the lanky haired boy who still seemed captivated by their headmaster's phoenix.

"If I agree to this, you can't really _force _me to do anything, can you?" He asked, hating himself for the insecurity that had slipped out in his voice.

Snape rose an eyebrow, suddenly thinking about what type of 'anything' James might be referring to. He wrinkled his nose when unbidden images of forcing the Potter heir into indecent acts ran wild in his head. If the Gryffindor thought he was sick enough to enjoy such an activity, then… it suddenly struck him that James might be scared about what things he might be _forced _to do, and that thought amused Severus greatly. He had no desire to calm the boy who had bullied him for so many years, opting instead for an ambiguous answer. Potter deserved to be uncomfortable for a little while.

"That depends on whether you care about yourself or not. You don't do the order, I don't make the Elixir."

"It's my _LIFE!_"

Snape's eyes darkened and a scowl took over his features. He didn't want to lose this façade of a cool, calm person who held the key to someone else's life; but James just made him so angry. Even being in the same room as the boy made him want to sent jinxes and curses in the messy-haired boy's direction. James didn't even have to say anything, as soon as he caught sight of the brat's birds-nest he called hair he was an uncontrollable mass of rage.

"You and your little marauder buddies have made _my life _a living _Hell _since I came to Hogwarts. Do you seriously believe I actually care whether you live or die?" He pulled the boy forwards by his collar threateningly, unheeding the cough of protest from their headmaster. He whispered directly into the boy's face, making sure to pronounce his words so that James' face was sprayed with little bits of saliva as he talked. "To me, this is nothing but a business deal, do you understand?"

James gulped again, and nodded. Snape didn't miss him trying to stop himself from shivering. James was definitely scared, but then again, who wouldn't be if their life was in danger? He gripped just a little tighter as the boy did not respond, until the Gryffindor, courage obviously failing him, averted his eyes and nodded.

"W-What if you forget to give me an order?" He spoke, quietly this time, not daring to look up. Severus roughly let go of his captive, and watched as James stumbled into balance.

"I won't. I may choose not to, but I won't forget." He spoke calmly, running a hand through his own hair. It was greasy again, thanks to the potions he was working on. "If I choose not to then that's my decision and you'll still get your potion." He added, spitting out the word 'potion' as if he pained him to say it. James had no doubt he'd only swapped from his careful deliberation over the word 'Elixir' to 'potion' because 'potion' was easier to say in an intimidating way.

James nodded again as Severus left the room as if that matter was closed. In James' mind the matter was not closed, it was far from closed, but he had no wish to anger the Slytherin again so soon, especially now knowing that Severus had his life hanging on a thread over his head. He turned to leave as well, but stopped at Dumbledore's words.

"Don't test him Mr. Potter, and please try to get your deal written down on paper. Make this _official_."

James gave a nervous laugh.

"He wouldn't actually let me die would he?" He asked, but he knew as he said it that the snake would. Not just because James had terrorised him for so long, but because the shake in his voice gave away his own worries.

Dumbledore looked grim. "Make this official and probably not." he sighed, eyes drifting over James' shoulder as if he could see a movie that was invisible to the rest of the world. "Do you remember Alex Kemp?"

James thought about it, and then;

"That Slytherin that disappeared a few years ago?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"He also suffered from Tractamosa. Severus struck up a deal and began making the Elixir for him." He explained, and in that moment he looked impossibly old. "Not long after Severus found out that Alex had joined Voldemort's ranks… he simply stopped making the potion."

James eyes widened. "Couldn't he get done for that? It's basically murder!" He protested, feeling a rush of understanding for the Slytherin he had never actually met. They were inexorably linked through their illness, and the fact that Severus had agreed to become their saviour.

Dumbledore shook his head. He seemed to regret whatever had happened before.

"The deal was never made official, therefore Severus never had to make the potion to begin with. He wasn't murdering him, he just wasn't helping him… But this story isn't really mine to tell." he looked straight into James eyes, and the both of them, with a bond between men, silently swore to never tell anyone that they were both very scared. "Which is why I urge you to get this down on paper. Make this official. I couldn't say anything before, while Severus was here, because the boy doesn't trust me after… last time. But any way you can, please try and get written confirmation."

James felt faintly sick. He never thought Snape would just let someone die - even if he was a Death Eater. Besides, the way Snape acted James thought Snape would end up on You-Know-Who's side anyway. He shivered and left the room without another look back; Making his way up to Gryffindor tower. When he made it to the dormitory, in a slow, steady pace as he sifted through all the information he had found that evening, he saw the other marauders had waited up for him.

"So, what did the old coot want?" asked Sirius playfully from his spot on Remus' bed, playing a game of Wizard's chess that he was losing badly.

James snapped out of his thoughts.

"Oh… he, um… he just doesn't want any more fights between us and Snivellus this year. He's really gunna be cracking down on it." He lied easily.

Sirius frowned.

"Oh, well that sucks."

"Yeah." said James, "Tell me about it."

**Dependence is now officially under revision.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dependence **

**SSJP Fan fiction **

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I Don't Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 2- To be in love with a duck.

"Jamie! Jamie! Jamie!"

"Stop calling me that! And get off me you mangy mutt!"

"Oh Jamie! I'm insulted! And you used to be such a _deer_!"

"STAG!… I'm a stag!"

"Looking like that you're no more of a stag then a stag beetle!"

"Not you too Wormtail! You're all ganging up on me!"

There was a cough from the right.

"Okay, so not so much Moony."

"Not so much?"

"The intention was there…"

A grin. "Never in my _Wildest_ dreams." A pause. "Beetle boy."

"URGH! It's just a bad hair day!" James cried indignantly, glaring at his so called friends, but only being rewarded for his efforts with a self-satisfied from Sirius Black, his partner in crime. James frowned when he realised it was very similar to that of Severus Snape's, who's he had had the pleasure of seeing the night before. Today, classes had started, and James could only think that Sirius wore his smirk much better than the Slytherin.

"Come on, we're going to be late." The Four boys turned into their Herbology class to be confronted with a sneaky looking third year who was hurrying out. She gave then a piercing glare.

"What's all this about stags?" she asked, pouting her lips, already made up with far too much lip-stick, and pulling out a pen from her robe pocket.

"I _am _a stag." James replied with a cheeky grin and a wink.

"No, you're a beetle." Remus corrected, just as cheekily. James screwed up his nose.

"You leave me alone!" he mocked, "You'll scared away little red riding hood with all your talk of beetles. You big bad wolf, you!"

"There's nothing wrong with beetles." objected the third year. Pete rose an eyebrow at her comically.

"Whatever Rita, get to class." he brushed her off. Rita was always known to be snooping around, and the shorter boy had no desire for her to find out about their night-time prowling. Rita hurried past and Sirius winked at her. It wasn't that Rita was special, just another girl for his lists of conquests. Nevertheless, James shook his head.

"Third years Siri?"

Sirius Grinned. "On occasion."

"… man whore."

"Jealous."

Once said third year was actually out of eye and ear range, Remus whacked James round the side of the head, perhaps with a little more force than was strictly necessary. The bespectacled boy tripped to the side, surprised at himself. He had been weaker since his near-death encounter, and little bouts of intense heat often caught him off guard. He had put it down to puberty or something equally as embarrassing so as to not talk to his friends about it, but his balance was almost always in a mess and he'd noticed he'd started to loose a little weight. With the development that he was going to continue to be ill he couldn't help but wonder if they were symptoms of his disease. He didn't want to have any more interactions with Snape, but since the Slytherin was a self-proclaimed expert on the subject of Tractamosa he wondered if he could ask the boy if these symptoms were usual.

"Don't use muggle nursery rhymes to refer to me!" Remus scolded lightly, explaining his assault. Sirius gave James a grin.

"Yes _dear_," he stressed. "You'll hurt Mr. Big Bad Wolf's _feelings_!"

Needless to say, the marauders were enjoying their new found freedom of being animagi.

They entered the greenhouse and James took a seat across from one of the Ravenclaws they shared this lesson with. He was a little on edge as today was the day he was supposed to get his first 'order' from Snape. He had figured it would come with the morning mail, but the mail came and there was no command. Although he did get a letter from his mother which ordered him not to do anything 'drastic' this year. He wouldn't call charming all the suits of armour in the castle to pelt things at Filch and his damned cat whenever he walked by 'drastic', would you? On the contrary, he'd call it 'necessary'. He let out a small snort at the thought, even as it was overshadowed by the developments of the night before. He was trying not to think about how the snake held his life in his hands, but the constant reminder that Snape was completely and irrevocably in control was difficult to wave away. He'd hardly slept the night before for thinking about the types of things Snape might make him do in their little deal, and when he did sleep he'd had nightmares about the Slytherin dangling the antidote just out of his reach, and watching him burn.

"What was that Prongs?"

"Huh?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What's up mate? You've been acting out of it since you woke up!"

James tried to force a grin.

"Just thinking of how we should extract our revenge on Filch." He said. It was the truth, if only half of it.

Sirius hummed and closed his eyes; obviously thinking of his own revenge on the stingy caretaker and his just as stingy cat. James was happy to whisper their plots under his breath with the boy, but at that moment he spotted an owl in the window trying to find the best route in.

It fluttered into the classroom as Professor Sprout was taking a register, through a high window James hadn't realised was open. It dropped a letter in front of James and it landed in the compost of his Tiger lilies. Yes, Tiger Lilies are very magical and used in many different potions - apparently anyway, according to Moony. His breath caught in his throat, there was no address on the envelope, but James just knew it was from the dungeon bat. What if it ordered him to do something unspeakable? What if his suspicions of the night before were right and Snape was actually a sexual predator? Even if he wasn't he knew the lanky haired boy would derive great pleasure from watching James humiliate himself in sexual ways.

He gulped down the bile rising in his throat and picked up the note with shaky hands.

"Andrew Ch- James Potter what are you doing NOW?"

He jumped a mile at Sprout; when she screamed his name. He scrunched up the note in his hand and gave his best charming smile. Sprouts eyebrows shot into her flyaway hair. He tried to focus on her, but his thoughts were focused on the envelope he'd instinctively hidden behind his back.

"A Love note perhaps?" she asked, glancing at his hidden hands. James felt his cheeks go from normal colour, to bright red, to deathly pale, to a faint green. The rest of the marauders burst out laughing, much to his chagrin.

"It's… It's like…" Sirius subsided into more laughter, unable to finish his sentence not only for the shakes that wracked his body, but also because he didn't know the word for the Muggle contraption he was thinking of.

"Traffic lights?" supplied Remus, trying to clear up what his friend was trying to say, in the middle of giggles himself. Sirius nodded. James stuck the note in his back pocket and stuck his tongue out childishly. His friends could be so childish, but he knew he could hardly blame them if he didn't tell them the situation he was actually in.

"Yeah whatever, you guys are just jealous 'cuz you never get love notes." he sneered, angry, despite his own logical reasoning that he shouldn't be.

"You're right," Replied Pete, "we went past that stage in 2nd year." Sirius, who was still laughing slightly, nodded in agreement to Peter's comment. Eventually, Professor Sprout called for order, and James was glad she did, although it was lunch before he was able to open the letter. He glared at the words on the page.

_Potter,_

_Let's put your potion skills to the test. Make me a love potion, devoid of anyone's hair if you please. I'll expect it at 7 pm tonight._

James rolled his eyes, letting out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. What did Snape want a love potion for? He thought offhandedly. Then he rolled his eyes again at his own stupidity. They did call him Snivellus for a reason, he'd hardly be able to score a girl without some magical help. Though even as he thought it he knew it was wrong, he took pleasure in being able to insult the man, even if only in his own head.

But Snape was good at potions -very good. He wouldn't need James to make him a love potion if he actually had any intention of using it. He was sure it was just a chance to laugh at his brewing attempts. He decided to skip lunch to complete the order, biting his lip as tried to stop himself from being angry that he was so easily bending to the other man's will. He made his way down to the dungeons in a hope no one was there, and when he arrived, he was in luck. He dragged out his potions book with a sigh and stowed into Slughorn's stash to get the ingredients.

He kept adding ingredients to a bubbling cauldron, and watching the colour turn from a sickly green to a more sickly pink - a Barbie pink. James had a feeling it was supposed to be a little darker, but added the Tiger Lilies like nothing was wrong, smirking to himself and wondering how Moony had known about Tiger Lilies properties if they were used in love potions. He grimaced as he already pathetic excuse for a potion turned yellow. He stirred it a lot, a fall back if anything goes wrong, and let it simmer. But when the bell rang he was forced to put some in a container and clear up the rest. Yellow or not, he had tried his best, and that was all that mattered. He hoped. It was all Snape had asked for in the deal, but he still had to make the deal official. He nestled the small container, enough for one person to get a real kick he presumed, into his bag, and scurried from the dungeons, wishing to meet up with his friends on the way to class.

He attended classes in the afternoon as always, goofing off and laughing with the marauders - all the while conscious of the love potion nestled in his bag. He knew his jokes sounded strained, and his laughs fake, so was glad when Seven o' clock arrived and he could escape his friends to sneak down to the dungeons again - not knowing where else to go. In the classroom where he had potions with the Slytherins, he found Snape sitting on one of the benches: one leg pulled up and an arm draped lazily over that knee. The other leg was over the side, foot firmly on the ground. He robes had been discarded in the September heat and he was dressed in his school uniform shirt and jeans, his tie pulled lose. He looked up as James entered. James felt his hands twitch at his sides. He wanted to punch the boy so badly, but was constantly reminded that Severus was something akin to a god at that moment - he chose whether James lived or died.

"Let's see it then." he said, straight to the point. Since it was Potter, he wouldn't be surprised if he'd managed to turn it yellow or something equally as ridiculous. With these thoughts in mind, when James pulled out the container filled with yellow potion, he let out a small laugh. James blushed, but the ever so slightly endearing expression was soon taken over by one of confoundedness.

"Did you just laugh?" he asked, a very small smirk on his lips, reminiscent of years of horrible teasing inflicted by the marauders. Snape scowled at the memories.

"Did you just blush?" He shot back, angry at himself for laughing at all, but more angry at Potter for daring to think he could act so familiarly with him. James brought a hand to his hair and messed it up, nervously. Severus looked away, a bitter look taking over his features. "I am _not_ a female, that gesture is _not_ attractive. It is simply _annoying_."

James furrowed his brow, biting his lip, and played with the hem of his sleeves, subconsciously knowing that all of these were nervous habits. He had never been nervous around Snape before, so decided to tread lightly. He couldn't deny that it made sense that Snape would be permanently angry at him, after all the bullying the marauders had dished out to him over the years, and once again he was reminded that his life was on the line here. "Sorry." He spat out, swallowing his pride. "I know I suck at making potions. I did try!"

It was Snape's turn to smirk, that slightly evil, manipulating smirk.

"Alright, I accept it." he said, after a pause. James crinkled his nose at the thought.

"You're not actually going to use it are you?"

Snape rolled his eyes, standing, and noting that James had taken a barely distinguishable step backwards at the action.

"I'm not that desperate." He sighed. "Are you - are you feeling okay?"

James took another step backwards. He couldn't tell if Severus was being sincere, or if this was farce and he was about to be laughed out of the room. Honestly, he felt hot, bothered and physically weak. He wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for the next couple of years or so. He'd felt as such since he'd been making that potion on the other boy's orders.

"Fine." He lied, but even as he said so a sudden wave of dizziness overtook him and he stumbled into a desk. He held a hand to his head and groaned. "Is this _normal_?"

Severus seemed to consider the question. He was half tempted to simply ignore the obviously suffering boy, but James had swallowed his pride and asked the question, so, never to be outdone, he could be civil enough to answer it.

"Your body will be physically weaker having contracted the illness. You will often suffer heat waves, dizziness, shortness of breath… headaches in extreme cases." He paused, wondering whether to tell him that potion fumes from incomplete potions were known to have a detrimental effect on recovery from Tractamosa. He'd asked the boy to make the potion as a simple and sadistic form of making the Gryffindor suffer, but he knew prolonged exposure to the fumes might be fatal, so he could not use the same revenge again - not if he planned on making the Quidditch player realise agony before his life was taken from him.

James nodded to the explanation, and Severus could tell he was itching to leave his presence. What was he waiting for, permission? He stilled as he realised that was exactly what the so called brave Gryffindor was waiting for. James truly feared for his life… and the manipulation Severus was creating might work in an even more productive way than he had ever hoped for. He paused for a moment, revelling in the fact that his company was obviously uncomfortable, and yet was not leaving, before waving a hand in dismissal. James all but fled, leaving behind his poorly made potion on one of the many desks.

He walked slowly to the Gryffindor tower, and was only awoken from his thoughts on how pathetically scared he was of the Slytherin when he found himself in front of the fat (no; plump) lady.

"Hello dear." she said sweetly,

"I'm a stag." James grumbled awkwardly, still a little lost in thought and resentful of himself for not being able to stand up to Snivellus. "Quack"

"No dear, 'quack' is the noise a duck makes."

James paused at the statement, he did enjoy the _plump _lady's humour, her oblivious nature could always take one's mind off of things..

"So what noise does a stag make? That can be the new password!" he asked excitedly, but the portrait just looked stumped.

"I don't know dear."

James' spirits fell again.

"_STAG!" _He repeated,_ "_QUACK! Now let me in!"

The portrait swung open, not without some clearly upset comments from it's occupant, and James climbed through the hole. He spotted the marauders in the usual spot by the fire. Remus waved him over.

"Where've you been?" he asked, not even caring that he sounded nosey. He was the self-appointed 'dad' of their group and it worried him when one of them wasn't around. He wasn't going to breach anybody's privacy and check out where they'd been on the map, but he was still curious. James just shrugged in a non-committal way. Peter smirked.

"Probably meeting with his girlfriend." He teased lightly.

"What girlfriend?"

"You know Pads, the one who sent him the love letter."

"Oh yeah, that girlfriend." Padfoot agreed readily, shooting his friend a knowing look. "It all makes sense now."

"No it doesn't!" Interrupted the object of their discussion. "Because that wasn't a love letter and I don't have a girlfriend." He explained.

"Then what was it? It certainly looked like a love letter." asked Moony.

"Just because it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, doesn't mean it's a duck." was James' cryptic answer.

"What type of logic is that?" asked Padfoot.

"Yeah, if it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, then it's a duck!" added Moony defensively. He knew what James was getting at, and as prefect he had been the creator of their newest password. He wouldn't have any stabs at his creativity when the marauders had been the ones that had convinced him that animal noises were by far the best passwords.

"What else could it be?" asked Wormtail thoughtfully.

James mused for a tiny moment.

"It could be a stag."


	3. Chapter 3

**Dependence **

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I'm not making any money from this.**

Chapter 3- Yellow is better then Pink

When James woke up the next morning, it was to an owl which was persistently pecking at his forehead. His eyes twitched open, faintly feeling the unwanted attention, and wondering if he was likely to get a bruise there. He waved away the bird with a great flurry of movement and blinked at it multiple times, trying to dislodge the sleepy-dust from his eyes. He briefly wondered what the scientific term for the junk that accumulated at the corner of his eyes while he slept was, but since his mother had always called it sleepy-dust, no matter the childish connotations, he was likely to continue to. Soon enough, however, he was back to the matter at hand: none of the Marauders kept animals anymore, under the fear they might try and eat Wormtail (who had a habit of changing into a rat while he slept) so what was an owl doing here? It pecked the package it had dropped on James bed in answer to his inquisitive look.

James read the label -Potter- and decided to open it in the bathroom, unsure as to what it might be. He stumbled quietly from his bed, weary of the early hour, and cursing in his mind that Snape thought he had the authority to wake him up at any time he wished. Having thought as much, he frowned as he entered the bathroom and reminded himself that Snape did have that authority, along with every other authority, over how James would live his life. He sat on the bathroom floor and unwrapped the parcel, to be greeted with his own bright yellow love potion. Snape had left another note inside.

_Potter,_

_You'll have to be the test case for this horrid attempt at a potion._

He shifted uncomfortably on the cold tiles, deciding to ignore the blatant stab at his potion making skills. James opted for a simple glare at the potion, wondering how it might affect him. Why did it have to go and turn yellow anyway? He just hoped that since he had yet to add anyone's hair in particular that it would not have any affect - although he briefly thought that Severus might be vindictive enough to add the hair of anyone the Slytherin thought humiliating enough for James' affections..

Of course, James wasn't the best at potions, as the colour of this particular one hinted at, so he had forgotten that a love potion only cared about showing people love, and if hairs were not deliberately added, the drinker would simply fall in love with the first person they set eyes upon. So, when he entered the dorm again to see Sirius yawning, sat up in bed, a contented expression upon his striking features - the sudden urge to leap into his arms and confess his undying love for him, was more than unexpected. And, as all really, really, manly men do in that situation - he blushed from head to toe.

"You alright Prongs? You got a fever?" asked the half asleep Sirius croakily, Peter woke up at the sound of a voice, raspy though it was. The rat animagus had always been the lightest sleeper of the four, and it was rare for his friends to be awake before him.

"I…" James clamped a hand over his mouth and squeaked. Remus awoke at the high pitched noise and he sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The werewolf tried not to glare at his dorm mates, but the hour was quite early and he had never been known for his agreeable nature in the mornings. Everyone had their downsides, and Remus' was his inability to function without a large amount of coffee.

"wha'?"

"I…" James repeated; it came out muffled, but more or less understandable.

"You _what _Prongs?" asked Sirius, trying not be amused by his friends obvious discomfort.

James, however, shook his head and launched himself at Remus, landing in the unsuspecting boys lap with a self-pitying cry.

"Moony!"

"Wh-What!" squawked the werewolf, now much more awake, eyes wide and staring at James. The boy was known for being eccentric, but this was unnatural.

"What am I gunna do!" whined James, burying his nose in Remus' chest. Remus could only pat the Quidditch player's head awkwardly.

"Well… um… What's wrong?" He ventured, glancing around at his other friends for help, but only getting blank looks in return.

James stopped nuzzling Remus' chest and sat up, effectively straddling the boys lap, and giving the sandy haired boy a rosy, determined glare.

"I'm… I think…" he paused, "I'm in love with Sirius Orion Black!" he all but screamed. There was a shocked silence throughout the room, until Sirius burst out laughing.

"I knew I was irresistible!" he shouted playfully, pumping a fist in the air and falling back in to the bed sheets. "Don't worry Prongsie - I love you too!" he laughed. He was always up for a little play flirting with his friends. More often than not it was Remus on the receiving end of his flirty nature, but if James was feeling left out… there was more than enough fake-love to go around.

"Y- you do?"

Sirius suddenly stopped laughing at the hopeful tone.

"Well, you're not serious are you?" He asked.

James glared, and ignored the 'no, you are' joke which slipped into his thoughts. As it always did whenever anyone asked that question in front of the Son of Black. He knew it was and old joke, but it still managed to catch him off guard every now and again and entice a laugh.

"Of Course I am!" He exclaimed blindly, "I didn't realise it before now, but you are my one true love!" he added, and having done so he pushed himself off Remus, who mumbled at not being a cushion, and sat down next to Sirius, linking their arms and staring at the slightly taller boy intently. Sirius suddenly became a lot more sober.

"Okay, Jokes over." He sighed. He knew it was unfair, but he could only continue his flirting so long as he knew it was a joke. The actual idea of a relationship with any of his friends, not even regarding the fact that they were all male, was simply ridiculous and made him twitch. He and James were practically brothers.

"No joke!" James replied, running a hand through his hair nervously.

Sirius stood, leaving James on the bed once he had dislodged the other boys hold on his arm, and quickly got changed. He left for breakfast without so much as goodbye. He thought he might be overreacting, but in order to let James know he was uncomfortable with the subject matter of this particular joke, he would need to ignore the boy. Sometimes it was the only way to get anything through the Quidditch player's head.

James frowned at the mattress as he listened to Sirius pack up his stuff and leave. He didn't think his blind confessions had settled too well. But oh well! He'd simply have to try again in their next class, Muggle Studies.

And try again he did! They had Muggle Studies with the Hufflepuffs. Most of the class were Hufflepuffs, as they were the only ones who cared about Muggles enough to actually take the lessons. When James arrived, he took the seat next to Sirius and gave him the biggest grin he could.

"You feeling better now?" asked the Black, he had ignored James the whole way through breakfast to let him know that this joke wasn't something he was comfortable with.

"I always feel better when I'm with you!" Was the reply. Internally, James felt stupid for even saying it, but his external reactions were forging him on. Peter sat down on Sirius' other side and the dark haired boy instantly engaged the mousy haired in a frolicking conversation about Apple Pie. The subject matter was an obvious indicator that he'd gone back to ignoring James. Remus sat down on James' other side and James turned to the werewolf, frowning angrily.

"Oh Remy! He's ignoring me! I only took this class because of him!" He sniffed. He wasn't actually crying, but he was good at being overdramatic when he needed to be.

Remus patted his head again, awkwardly.

"Now, now." he said, "That's not true!"

"Yes it is!" James wailed loudly. Remus gave a nervous chuckle to the now staring Hufflepuffs and thanked Merlin that their teacher wasn't present as of yet. "I couldn't care less about muggles, but Siri's so obsessed with that damn bike of his!" James explained, and Remus found himself humming in agreement. He knew James' reasoning was flawed at best, but it was so much easier to just agree with the boy when he had an idea in his head - especially when it was still early in the morning and he wasn't really awake.

"I suppose we did take this class because of him…"

"AND NOW HE'S IGNORING ME!"

Remus gave a sympathetic nod, and sent a glare at Sirius. Usually he wouldn't pick sides, but Sirius glared right back, so he felt justified.

"I'd talk to him if he stopped spouting nonsense!" the Black heir reasoned. James only howled louder and Remus rubbed his back like a mother to a child.

"He can't help his feelings for you." He mumbled, but Sirius heard him loud and clear.

"He doesn't have any feelings for me!"

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes he does!"

"Boys!"

The three boys gulped and looked up at their Muggle Studies teacher, all with identical looks of innocence plastered on their faces from years of experience. Peter whacked his forehead with his palm, having been making gestures in an attempt to warn his friends that class was beginning and they were being far too loud.

"Anything you'd like to share with the class?"

James grinned. "I'm in love with Sirius!" He told them all, even as he blushed at the thought of everyone knowing. Why shouldn't everyone know? Surely the feelings he was feeling were pure?

The class erupted with giggles, making Sirius sink lower in to his seat, and James frown, trying not to lose confidence.

"I'm not joking, you know." He said to the laughing class. Professor Jed decided to carry on with his lesson, regretting his decision to ask. Of course James had something to share, the boy loved to share. He wouldn't let his lesson-plan he ruined because of it.

- X -

And so, after cleverly deducing that blindly confessing his love on a regular basis was not Sirius' idea of fun, James decided that he needed to _seduce_ Sirius to win the taller boys affection. That being said, James wasn't entirely sure how to go about 'wooing' a male. Not wanting to be too dependent on Remus, who had shown him only love and support ever since this whole ordeal had started, he asked Pete. However this idea drew a complete blank when an enraged Wormtail told him to 'ask a _girl_ for God's sake!'. Apparently, he hadn't any experience on the matter either. Hence the reason why James was sat crossed-legged on the Gryffindor common room floor, waiting for an answer from a very confused looking Lily Evans.

"… How to get a guy to fall in love with you?" she clarified, "What guy?" _what guy?_ What guy had possibly been able to win James' love, who was a known womaniser? James looked away, suddenly reluctant to say. Lily, after all, had been the object of his affections for some time now, and the sudden switch from her to Sirius was as confusing as it was exhilarating. Lily, feeling sympathetic, sat down next to him. She would never have done so if she felt his affections were still focused on her, and suddenly had the stray thought that this was all an elaborate heist to get her to like him more, and possibly agree to go out with him. After all, there were plenty of cases of supposedly 'gay' best friends getting together with the woman they had really been after all along.

She couldn't exactly see James going to such lengths, however.

"What's he like?"

James shrugged, trying to act non committal, and refusing to look the girl in the eyes.

"Stubborn, funny… I guess. He's energetic. He likes… fast things."

"Sirius." she deduced. It was hardly a difficult mystery, but all the same James' eyebrow twitched. Did he really not know that half the female population (the half that weren't drooling over him) had bets on when he would eventually get together with the other boy?

"I would compliment him - a lot." She advised. "And laugh at his jokes too, and… perhaps ask him for help with studying. He needs to feel important."

James frowned, sighing. He had hoped Lily would be a little more helpful - she was a girl after all.

"But I already do all those things!" He complained. She was right though, Sirius did like to feel important. Lily shrugged.

"Well, I dunno then." She shot back. "It's not like I've put much thought into how to seduce Sirius."

James stood up, giving in to his earlier notions. He gave Lily a short nod of thanks, before:

"I guess there's no other option then, I'll have to ask Moony!"

He left the room in search for his friend, wandering the castle aimlessly once he realised he had no idea where Remus would be when the sandy haired boy was not with them. He was halfway down Charms corridor when he bumped into Snape (literally), who was talking to Sirius' younger brother, Regulus. He steadied himself, wondering when his body had become physically weak enough to be knocked by a bump with another student, and tried to shake off the uneasy feeling he felt around the Slytherin. He knew there was something about Snape he should be worried about, but with his knew found love for Sirius everything had gone completely from his mind.

He travelled his eyes between the two, letting them rest on the younger Black sibling. How convenient, was the only thought running through James' infatuated mind. Now he wouldn't have to ask Remus.

"Reggie!" he enveloped the unsuspecting third year into a rough, one-armed hug. The Slytherin only spluttered and tried to push the older boy away. He had never been particularly friendly with Sirius' dorm mates, and although he was happy he wasn't being cursed, the physical attention was anything but wanted. He didn't need to waste his efforts, however, as James was forcefully pulled away, with a heavy, angry hand on his shoulder yanking the two apart.

"Just because I rejected you does not mean you should go after my brother!" scolded a _severely _pissed off Sirius. Pretty much all the girls (and half the boys) in school knew that you didn't try and date Regulus without Sirius' consent. The boy's older brother was just a _little _overprotective. Regulus raised a well practised eyebrow at the insinuation, but otherwise showed no outward reaction to the scene. James, on the other hand, seemed upset that Sirius would even think that he had any intentions less than moral towards the thirteen year old Slytherin.

"Sirius! I wasn't trying to hook up with him. I wanted advice on how to get you to agree to hook up with me…" He protested.

The other boy in the scene, Severus, smirked; an expression that was becoming a normality on his face. So, the love potion had made James infatuated with Sirius Black? And it was working quite well by the looks of things, despite the colour and obviously mediocre brewing skills. He watched, highly amused, as the two Gryffindor's began to argue.

"Don't involve people that have nothing to do with it!"

"He's your brother!"

"Precisely! Now will you let this charade go? Please?"

The smile, evil thought it was, was slowly growing on Severus' face. If all went well Potter would be publicly humiliated _and_ his and Black's friendship would fail. Sirius was obviously angry and a crowd was already beginning to form because of all the shouting. Yes, the love potion had worked a treat. Not only had he managed to physically harm the Gryffindor who's life he was now in control of, but he would be able to emotionally harm him as well.

"James Harold Potter! Just stop!" Shouted Sirius, but by now James was almost in actual tears. The boy clenched his fists at his sides, but Severus could see he was resisting reaching out to touch the boy he was artificially infatuated with.

"No, I wont!" He shouted back, grabbing both of Sirius' hands before the boy could protest. "Jeez Siri, I love you!" He exclaimed, and with that, he crashed their lips together. The crowd gasped and Severus made a mental note that yellow possibly created better results than pink - although he was loathe to agree Potter had made something anything more than substandard, it was obvious James had made a very powerful love potion. Unless of course he was spurred on by real feelings, but Severus doubted that was the case. James was a lot of things, and one of those things was definitely a womaniser. It was common knowledge that James and Sirius thought of each other as brothers; nothing more and nothing less. Although the female population sometimes let this slip their mind when they gossiped, many of them having been scorned by the troublemakers.

Sirius broke away from the kiss and grabbed James' wrists, squeezing hard, to stop him from trying anything like that again. He glared down at the shorter boy, a snarl on his otherwise attractive features.

"I'm not interested." he spat, something bitter in his words. "Now _stop_." and with that, he walked away, leaving a crowd and a very disgruntled looking James. The other Gryffindor quickly dried his eyes with his sleeve, unable to believe he was actually crying over what had just happened. With the kiss, and ultimate rejection, the love potion had lost effect and he had come to his senses. His memories had returned to him too, and he sought out Snape in the crowd, trying to stop himself from becoming too embarrassed by the stares he was receiving from his peers. He glared the best he could with watery eyes, knowing that Snape held his life on the line he was unable to shout curses, but he really wished he could explain the feeling of pure hate he felt for the boy at that moment.

Something fiery stirred inside him, something strong and full of anger, hurt, and hate. It felt like a part of him, but like it didn't really belong where it was nestled - infested deep inside his heart.

Tractamosa was making itself known again, and it was that which stopped him punching the smirk right off of Snivellus' face. Snape probably knew as well, that the destructive disease was eating away at him from the inside, devouring his emotions while the Elixir stopped it from getting at his physical body - if the look he was receiving was anything to go by.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsesssivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 4 - Get a Room; Get a Life!

James was pacing. He'd been pacing for about 20 minutes now, and since Remus' eyes had been following him for about 19 of those minutes, the werewolf could feel the beginning of a headache, and was getting relatively agitated. And an agitated werewolf is rarely a good thing. Peter had long since given up on James' irrational behaviour and had left after the sixth time James had tried to tell them why he and Sirius were no longer on speaking terms. He was currently sat in the common room playing a game of exploding snap with a group of fourth year girls. Granted, the two quieter marauders could take a _very _educated guess as to why James and Sirius were not talking, but they refused to help their friends unless they actually confessed the whole story. There were two reasons for this, one: they wanted James and Sirius to trust them, and two: they loved hearing gossip.

"Okay Moony, this is what hap-"

"Whoa, hold up!" Remus interrupted. "Wormtail, he's gunna do it!"

Peter came crashing into the room and plopped himself down on his four poster bed, looking excited that James was actually going to tell them what happened. The girls down stairs, if disappointed, came second to James swallowing his pride and telling the truth. The messy haired chaser looked between his two friends and sighed.

"I can't do it!"

"URGH!" cried the other two boys, both falling back onto their respective beds.

"What the hell is so hard about it?" asked Remus after a moment silence of looking at the ceiling with narrowed eyes, judging by the small shuffling noises, he assumed James had gone back to pacing.

"It's difficult to explain…" He mumbled, and he may have been about to go on, and try his very best to explain, but the door swung open. Remus sat up to see and very pissed off looking Sirius enter the room. The door slammed shut behind him and he gave James the Black family death glare, which was rumoured to, for a moment, send you straight to Hell and let you feel the lick of it's flames. If Sirius had resorted to this particular technique, then things were undoubtedly serious. James took a step backwards. Unfortunately, because of how he was pacing, that meant he stepped against Pete's bed, falling back onto the four poster, on top of the rat animagus.

"Nice one." commented the boy underneath him roughly. He shoved James off him and they sat side by side on Peter's bed, James examining how pissed off he'd made Sirius, and Peter rubbing his legs where James had landed unceremoniously.

"Do you know how many people asked me if I really was gay with James Potter on the way up here?" asked Sirius in an indignant tone, staring James straight in the eye. James shook his head, and it was obvious he wanted nothing more than to break their little staring contest and speak to his shoes. "You wouldn't, because you've been hollowed up in here, too afraid to god-damn leave the place haven't you!" Sirius carried on, angry beyond belief. He had a reputation to uphold after all, and he'd thought James had had a similar reputation, but evidently James did not hold his in as high regard.

The Potter heir opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius was still in ranting mode, and not much really got through when the Black was ranting.

"You're such a freaking idiot Potter, I don't know what the hell came over you, but what on earth possessed you to kiss me in front of all of those people!" He asked, although it was probably rhetorical. Remus and Peter exchanged glances, they knew it would be something to do with James' declarations of love, but had the messy haired boy really gone as far as to kiss Sirius? "Your Jokes are usually funny Potter, but most of us know where to draw the line, when I said I wasn't comfortable, I wasn't comfortable! Why couldn't you get that? And stop saying it's not a joke, because it has to be, because I don't want to risk our friendship over something so fricking stupid!"

James looked down, ashamed. He'd be lying if he said it was a joke, yet it wasn't like he really was in love with Sirius. All of this was Snape's fault. He pouted, but he hoped that the other marauders couldn't see his childish actions. He knew he'd acted really childish while he'd been under the influence of the love potion, but he wasn't under the influence any more, so he should stop acting like such a fool. He wished he could tell them about his deal with Snape, but he'd already decided not to. Not only did he not want to deal with the worry that he knew he'd get it if he told them he was terminally ill, he also didn't want to tell them he was having to depend on someone for help. Especially not when that someone was Snape, their sworn enemy. He couldn't see a way out of the situation.

"I…" any excuses he may have come up with only ever reached his throat, then they were swallowed back down before he could use them.

"Your such a fucking idiot James." was the comment Sirius left them with, he grabbed his summer hat, even though James knew he'd never actually wear it, and had probably only used it as an excuse to come in and have a rant, and left. James turned over and buried his head in Peters sheets.

"DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" he screamed. Peter gave a low whistle at the actions, rolling his eyes.

"Look James, ya screwed up, but if you just told him you were messing around with love potions he'd totally get it." He assured.

James looked up, incredulity in his eyes.

"What was that Wormtail?"

"Well, I saw the remains of the potion in the bathroom. I know your embarrassed, since you managed to turn it YELLOW and all-" James blushed lightly - "And yeah, who want's to get caught making a love potion-" the blush grew- "but I doubt your sucking at potions is really worth losing your friendship with Pads over."

There was a brief moment of contemplation, then James stood up, quickly clapped Peter on the back thankfully, and left after his brother in all but blood. Remus smirked, not unkindly, at the only other boy left in the room.

"Your sentence structure is abysmal, but I'm proud. That was very well handled."

- X -

James headed down the Charms corridor feeling strangely reminiscent, and still very annoyed at a certain greasy haired Slytherin. He couldn't help the fantasies that were popping up about cursing Snape, or just going for it the Muggle way and punching the bugger. But it only served to upset him more when he remembered that now they could be nothing but fantasies. On the other hand, Pete had given him the perfect excuse, because when he told Sirius that he'd been messing around with love potions, and had actually drank it to see the effects, he wouldn't be lying - that's exactly what he had been doing, he'd just leave out that part that Snape had told him to do all that. He'd say he hadn't told him before because he'd been embarrassed, and that was also the truth, he was embarrassed to tell Sirius that he'd drank a love potion. He generally hated lying, but didn't mind bending the truth or adding a little bit of creative license here or there. He ran down the hallway and grabbed Lily as she passed.

"Hey, have you seen Sirius?"

"Not since you guys went at it in the hallway." was her reply, a teasing smirk already on her lips. James smacked his forehead.

"Lets not talk about that. Thanks anyway."

Armed with the fact that no one was likely to let him live this down, James didn't ask anyone else, and relied on his eyes to do the Sirius searching from then on. This method seemed to work however, when he entered the library to see Sirius sat at one of the desks, engrossed in a book.

Something about that sentence was very wrong, he told himself, but nevertheless, made his way over and pulled up a chair next to his friend, or possibly ex-friend, suddenly nervous.

"Hey." He said, to announce his presence. Sirius spared him a glance and went back to reading his book, or at least, he looked like he was reading, in reality he was just staring at the page, trying to ignore James. James sighed gently and pulled the offending pages away, to be met with a heated glare. "Yeah. Glare all you want, as long as your looking at me and not a book. That seriously hurts my feelings; you hate reading."

"Yeah? Well right now I hate you more."

"Ouch." James smiled, some confidence coming back to him. "Look, you wanna know why I was acting like such an idiot?" He asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, duh." - Not eloquent, but appropriate.

"I drank a love potion. Which, by the way, I made myself. I was trying to make one, and wanted to see if I had it right. But I forgot to add anyone's hairs, and ended up 'falling in love' with you." he explained, messing up his hair, as an attempt to still look his old self.

"A love potion? You were trying to make a love potion? Why? And why didn't you tell me that before?" Asked his best friend, looking at the table where his book had been, still not entirely happy with looking at James. As far as he was concerned it was still his fault that the whole school was laughing at him. James blushed.

"Well… I just sort of was, I didn't want to tell you 'cuz…" he paused and took a deep breath. "I was embarrassed. I didn't want to confess that I'd been trying to make one in the first place." Although by that point it was kind of redundant.

Sirius grinned at the table. "So… I'll forgive you if you tell me who you were gunna give it to?" suggested the taller boy. James blushed some more, but then he got an idea.

"Snape." he said, grinning, and not lying, since he had made the potion to give to the git. Sirius choked on air and gave James an incredulous look.

"SNAPE?" he questioned loudly, earning some disgruntled looks from some of the other library occupants.

"Yes, Snape. I was planning on giving it to him as a joke. But the thing turned… yellow." he laughed nervously, embarrassed by his terrible potion making skills. "and then I figure I should try it out, other wise the plan could backfire. But then… it just backfired even worse." he trailed off, looking to Sirius for a reaction to the story, lots of that had been made up, but he had to have some 'creative licence' if he was going to be able to keep Sirius' friendship. Sirius was still looking at the table.

"You're such an idiot Potter!" James winced, so he wasn't forgiven, so much for Pete's master plan; he'd thought it'd been a good idea. "You should have told us if that was the plan. We could've helped. And you don't have to embarrassed about your potion making, we already know your crap." The taller boy carried on. James bit his lip, trying to stop the grin from taking over his features, and failing miserably.

"So… I'm forgiven?" he asked.

"I suppose. Just don't try anything so stupid again." was the reply.

James caught him in a hug; a rare occurrence, since for all their teasing and playfulness, neither boy was particularly touchy-feely. It was accepted this time, since their friendship was worth the embarrassment of being caught acting like a girl. Sirius hugged back, very lightly.

"Get a room!" called a voice from the doorway, a smart mouthed Ravenclaw who had witnessed the incident in the Charms corridor and just couldn't resist the temptation. Sirius shot him a glare over James' shoulder and clutched the boy a lot tighter, so that James was unable move away. This didn't exactly stop the boy from trying, as James wanted to see the harassing student too, and was a little uncomfortable in the longer haired boy's bear-hug. Sirius, however, just teasingly smirked at the Ravenclaw and his friends and bit on James' ear with his sharp teeth, causing the smaller boy to jolt. His ear instantly going red from the assault.

"Siri!" He scolded.

"Get a LIFE!" The Black shouted back, still not letting James go. The Ravenclaws, looking slightly put out, left the library, and then Sirius let James go. James rubbed his ear and looked at Sirius with a bright flush spread over his cheeks and nose. A natural reaction really. Sirius grinned cheekily.

"Think about it as payback for that kiss earlier."

James just nodded, he gave Sirius back his book and turned to leave, but was stopped by a fourth year Hufflepuff, whom he was certain he probably should know the name of. But evidently didn't.

"Erm, James?" she asked cutely, he spared her a smile and waved for her to continue. "Well, that is… um… you and Sirius… um…" Sirius came up behind James and pulled the Hufflepuff into a lip bruising kiss. James looked away, not really interested in watching his friend make out with some chick.

"That answer your question?" asked Sirius once the two had broken apart, he stepped up on one of the tables and smiled around at the audience in the library. "Just like to clarify that James and I are NOT GAY. I still like girls (can't vouch for Jamie though)"

"Hey!" objected James.

"And if you would spread that word around please? 'Cuz I'm beginning to get a bit annoyed at all the questions." he asked politely, James shook his head and tugged on his hand.

"C'mon Casanova." he said, dragging the boy back up to Gryffindor, they still had to tell Remus and Pete that they were talking again anyway. Of course, he was a little careful not to keep their hands linked for too long, he'd keep a little more distance then he usually did from his best friend for a couple of days, until it all died down. He grinned, as he passed Snape in the corridor, who was looking kinda annoyed that his master plan had failed and James and Sirius were still friends. He was right though, if Sirius wasn't his friend he really would just up and die, it would save a whole lot of problems, he figured, glancing at the dark haired Slytherin, he wouldn't have to depend on anybody if he was dead.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, _stop being an such a teenager_, he scolded himself, pulling Sirius along by his sleeve. Sirius was still his best friend, he had no reason to entertain thoughts like that. All he had to focus on was surviving whatever Snape had in store for him for the rest of his life.

Couldn't be too hard.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 5- And Sirius' Shampoo

The next day James woke up in a considerably better mood, there was no annoying owl pecking at his forehead, he'd successfully completely two orders from Snivellus and he still had all his friends (and all his limbs). Over all, in his overly optimistic mind, it wasn't that bad. Unfortunately, since he'd returned to school on a Tuesday, and both Wednesday and Thursday had passed, that meant that today was Friday. It was Snape's turn to hold his end of the deal, and James wasn't entirely sure he was going to, since like Dumbledore had said, nothing was in paper. He groaned slightly as he sat up, his legs were sore, and he had a bit of a headache. Maybe today wasn't going to be as good as he thought, he was feeling distinctly under the weather. A large black dog pounced on him, and turned into a human, sitting up right in his lap.

"C'mon Jamie! Wake up!" James just held a hand to his head, trying to will the headache to go away. Was it just him, or was Sirius being overly loud? He couldn't see how in a matter of seconds he'd gone from relatively optimistic to ridiculously unwell. Sirius turned back into Padfoot and licked James' face all over, which earned him an annoyed moan, he shoved the dog off him and fell back into the sheets, dragging the covers up around his neck and face and frowning at his pillow.

"Leave me alone."

"Your going to be late!"

"Since when have you cared about punctuality?"

"What in Merlin's name is punctuality?"

James turned over, and sniffed. His head hurt, his legs ached and his eyes were swimming. His back had begun to ache and he felt sluggish all over. How could Sirius not see he was obviously ill?

"Go away." he tried, and Sirius shut up, but didn't leave his spot on the end of James' bed. James tried again; "Go away or I'll tell Remus about your collection of werewolf porn." He decided that should shock him a little, however, Sirius only gave a bark of laughter that went straight through James and made him groan.

"I'm sure he'd be flattered." Sirius replied, trying to figure out where 'werewolf porn' had come from. Was there even such a thing? Not that he cared or anything. He glanced at the still sleeping werewolf, sort of glad he slept like a log. Even if it was outlandish and stupid, he wouldn't put it passed Remus, in his early morning state, to believe James.

"No, he'd be pissed. He's say something like 'that's derogatory'."

"Do you even know what derogatory means?"

Both boys jumped at the sound of Remus' voice, rough and gravely from just waking up. Sirius averted his eyes, mumbling; so he hadn't been asleep. James shrugged, he really only had a faint idea, but he'd heard Remus use the word enough times to know it would sound like something the sandy haired boy would say. Remus sighed.

"It's not derogatory, it's disgusting. You don't _really_ have a collection do you?"

Sirius almost blushed. Almost.

"Of course not! Do I look like I'm in to that kind of stuff?"

"By the way you look at Remy, I'd say yes."

"Wormtail!" A growl.

Peter had just walked into the room, carrying his school bag and he smirked at the occupants, Remus who looked very confused, Sirius who looked very flushed, and James who looked very… ill.

"'Sup Prongs?" he asked, James just groaned, turning over again, it was starting to get really hot, and he had no doubt this was a symptom of his disease. Where they sure it was evening he was supposed to get his potion? Or was Snape just going to let him die, that morning, in the dormitory. On the plus side, that thought was chilling enough. Remus crossed the room and did a forehead to forehead temperature check.

"You're a little warm, you wanna go see Madam Pomfrey?" he asked kindly, James shook his head, but moaned when an owl began tapping at the window, he didn't want to deal with one of Snape's prissy orders right now. Pete let the owl in, a surprised look on his face, since most mail came with breakfast, and checked the parcel it had been carrying.

"It's for you." he said, handing the package over. James grabbed it, and hugged it close, not wanting to open it, but not wanting anyone else to open it either. "Oh! It came with a letter. Here, you're feeling down, I'll open it for you."

James tried to protest, but Pete had already opened it and was reading out loud.

"Drink this, it'll make you feel better. Remember to still come see me at 8 pm, this is just a pain killer."

James ignored the looks he was getting from his friends and ripped open the parcel, if it was a pain killer then he was definitely going to drink it. He couldn't believe his luck that Snape was being so nice, and the odd thought crossed his mind that Snape was sending his poison, but this was quickly crushed by the thought that the Slytherin had no need to kill him directly - he could simply wait until that evening and watch him burn. Remus grabbed his hand before he could drink the liquid, however.

"Don't be an idiot, that note wasn't even signed. It could be anything." The werewolf protested.

James sighed, and decided to half explain. Or explain the best he could without giving away to his friends that he was terminally ill and relying on his worst enemy for help.

"Don't worry, this has been pre-arranged. I know who sent it." he said, before gulping down the content. It was disgusting, but his pain was instantly relieved. He gave a happy sigh. Remus looked sceptical.

"Well, who is it?" he asked. James stood from the bed, now feeling much better.

"No one really." he replied, but he suddenly found himself pinned to a nearby wall by Remus' brute strength, a small quirk which came with turning into a werewolf every full moon.

"I'm getting really pissed off with all your cryptic answers." The boy said, glaring. Remus wasn't exactly know for losing his temper, but when he did it tended to be scary. Something about knowing he turned into a blood-thirsty beast every month that could easily rip out your entrails tended to worry some people. James bit his lip.

"It's not any of your business." He spat back. He didn't want to lose Remus' friendship, but he felt justified thinking that most of Remus' mood was not that he was worried for James, but that he had been woken far too early for his liking.

"We're supposed to be friends!"

James frowned at the floor, still pinned to the wall by one easy fist around the tank-top he had been sleeping in. So much for today was a good day. Eventually Sirius dragged Remus off the smaller boy, and grinned heartily at the two, although it was obviously fake.

"You don't get it? This is Jamie's girlfriend. He's embarrassed to say he's actually settled down, but he has." He explained, winking at James and patting Remus on the shoulder to calm the boy down. James gave him a confused look. He honesty had no idea what Sirius was on about, but he was grateful he wasn't being held hostage any longer. Sirius continued on; "Me 'n' Pete figured it out. James is getting loads of owls and shit right? And he probably woke up, sent her an owl to tell her he was feeling shit and couldn't make tonight, and she didn't like that, so she sent him a pain killing potion. Hence the 'don't forget to come see me at eight' thing."

James had to admit, that wasn't terrible logic; it was bad logic, held together by far too much supposition, but it wasn't terrible. He looked away. Remus nodded, still dead to the world before he'd managed to get some caffeine in his system, and generally able to be convinced by most things.

"Oh, I see." He said, and with that he got changed and left with Peter, Sirius dragged some clothes on to, much slower than his friend, and was closely followed by James as they left the room together.

"You know Prongsie," he said as they made their way down the spiral staircase. "I know I wasn't right, like you'd ever settle down with anyone. But I'm not gunna pry. You've probably got your reasons. I wish you'd just trust us a little more." he confessed, his voice growing lower as they met up with Remus and Peter. James gave a weak smile.

"I do trust you" he replied, "but I also trust myself."

He knew it was another cryptic answer, but he really meant it. He trusted himself to be able to judge his friends characters, and he knew they'd be worried, and he didn't want that. Not just because he would feel guilty for making his friends worry, but also because he couldn't be dealing with their freaking out over it, on top of everything else. It was bad enough that he had to act like an obedient little puppy for Snape, he didn't want to have to change the way he acted for his friends as well. It would be best if they could just not know anything, and he would have his time with his friends to simply be a marauder and relax. As it was, already the whole situation was causing a strain on their friendship. He wasn't telling them, and that was final. Sirius shrugged as they made there way down to breakfast, laughing and joking as always, James now feeling much better, on a physical note. He guessed he could admit that Snape was really good at potions, it had worked a charm. He'd see him in Potions class today, perhaps he could 'inadvertently' thank him some him somehow. It might score him brownie points, so that he wouldn't have to be so terrified of the boy murdering him at any moment.

- X -

Potions came way to quickly for James, who hadn't thought of a way to thank Snape without _actually_ thanking him. He could hardly just say it in front of the entire class - everyone knew of the animosity between them. It also came to fast for Remus, for whom this was his worst subject, but that was a whole different matter. Both boys trudged into the dungeon classroom with dejected looks on their faces, Sirius following behind looking like he couldn't care, and Pete in front, who was excited, since he wasn't that bad at potions. For most of their pranks including potions, Peter and Remus (who was still good, despite it being his worst class) worked on it together.

Upon entering they noticed that the class was already crowded around Slughorn's desk, most of the girls leaning forward excitedly, and so they joined the crowd and were hastily shoved around by a bunch of girls in their excitement. James found himself easily pushed aside, having to be steadied by strong, calloused hands. He felt stupid, being a chaser for the Gryffindor team and general ladies man of Hogwarts, Tractamosa was sending off his balance. He'd hardly eaten at breakfast today because he was anxious about how to confront Snape, and so he was physically strained that way as well.

His heart skipped a beat, in fear, when he looked up to see the boy who had steadied him so easily, and without any reward in it for them, was none other than his victim-turned-saviour.

"Alright Class." announced Slughorn, a huge grin on his face, "Today we'll be learning about a particularly strong love potion." There was a pause from his speech when Sirius erupted in to laughter, stifled as best he could to the point where it actually sounded more like giggles. They earned him strange looks from around the class and a particularly venomous glare from James, not forgetting the yellow incident. Another thing to blame Snape for. Slughorn shrugged off the immature behaviour and carried on; "The love potion smells strongly of whatever the victim may desire. Who wants to volunteer to describe what they smell?"

Snape tapped on James' foot with his own. "I order you to volunteer." he said under his breath. James was struck by how deep and husky his voice sounded when used in that way. It was strange, but not unpleasant, and only served to make the Quidditch player highly confused. He wondered whether the potion fumes were getting to him, but stuck his hand in the air nonetheless. The other Marauders gave a happy cheer at James' willingness to put himself forward, and Slughorn ushered him up, smiling at one of his favourite students. It wasn't that James was particularly good in potions, simply that he was athletic and good-looking, and Slughorn felt the boy would go far in the world. A good connection to have, at least. James stepped towards the cauldron and sniffed, feeling foolish for making an obvious attempt to actually smell the potion, when he'd been able to smell the faint tresses of it from where he had been standing before.

"I guess… cinnamon, burning wood, coffee and…" he blushed slightly. He usually wouldn't care if he admitted the next thing or not, but after the incident in the charms corridor, that everyone had seen, this would be more embarrassing than usual. Still, he'd already hinted there was something else and Snape might get angry if he didn't do the order properly. He sighed. "Sirius' shampoo."

The class broke into fits of laughter (including Sirius himself, who had already been on the receiving end of James smelling his hair in the mornings when he wasn't quite paying attention to what, exactly, he was doing). Slughorn smiled at the confession, sending him away with a flourish of his hands, and James made his way back to Snape's side - much to the confusion of his friends who were a few steps away. He told himself that it was because their was an empty space there, and not because he wanted to engage the boy in conversation - and hear that voice again.

Surely, some remains of that potion were taking over, there could be no other reason why he would willingly spend time in the greasy-haired boy's company.

"That was a waste of an order." he whispered, initiating contact. "Everyone already knows I like that stuff."

"Black's shampoo as well? Did he know that?" Severus replied, voice low to avoid being caught out be Slughorn, and only serving to make James' heart beat a little faster. He honestly had no idea what was happening to him. There was no way he actually found anything about the boy standing next to him attractive - but he could hardly deny that tone of voice, the way it sounded, was pleasant to the ear.

James ruffled his hair, trying to remain composed. "Yeah he did, he's known for a couple of years now. I won't let him buy anything else." He supplied. He didn't know why he was trying to keep this conversation going.

Snape smirked though, and it was evil, but amused. "Why don't _you_ just use it instead?"

"It wouldn't smell the same on me"

"That makes no sense, it'll still smell the same." Snape frowned at him. "It doesn't matter who uses it, it's manufactured the same way."

"I wouldn't expect you to know much about shampoo." Said James scathingly, before he could stop himself. His eyes went wide in the realisation of what he had just done, however, and he clamped one hand over his mouth, as if he could push the remark back in. He turned his eyes to Snape, but the boy hadn't seemed to notice his slip.

"It's always going to smell the same, no matter who it's on, you just think it smells better on Black because you think fondly of him and therefore associate nice things with him."

James blinked a few times. It wasn't bad logic, but he still thought the shampoo would not smell the same if he used it himself.

The sudden thought of what Snape would smell like if he started using it, and the image it conjured of the Slytherin lathering himself up in the shower, body on full show, was not appreciated. He quickly averted his eyes, just in case Snape was actually a master or Legilimancy.

"Potter! Snape!" called Slughorn, "Glad your getting along so well, because your partners for today!" He snapped, obviously annoyed that his lecture had not been listened to. James quickly looked around the room; Remus was partnered with Peter, and Sirius with Lily. They gave him a confused look, before getting their ingredients and starting work on their potions. James moaned, but only quietly, because again, he was terrified of angering the boy next to him.

"Sir, please don't make me work with him!" Snape said instead, possibly so James didn't have to. At this point the Potter heir felt it necessary to keep up his image, and decided that Snape's utterance had been permission to do so.

"I second that notion."

"Well that's what you get for talking all the way through my explanation! Now get to work!" Was their reply.

Severus grabbed the ingredients they'd need and started to work, he shot James a glare when the boy looked through his book for the right page.

"Don't worry about it. I doubt you're going to be much help anyway. Don't stand too close to the cauldron."

"Why not?"

"It'll screw up your recovery."

"Well since I'm not going to recover anyway…" James stepped closer to see what colour it started out as, only to be shoved roughly back and pinned to one of the desks. His back hit it with full force, bending backwards almost at the waist, with his feet still pressed relatively firmly on the cold stone floor. Snape leaned over him until their noses were practically brushing, one hand on the boy's shoulder to keep him pinned, and the other steadying himself on the table. James' elbows shot back to try and keep himself upright, but he only ended up almost colliding with the other boys face in what would have been a very embarrassing encounter. Lucky, or perhaps unlucky, for him, Severus had him securely pinned. The class stopped moving to see what the commotion was about. James would usually be annoyed and embarrassed at being so easily defeated by his enemy, but it was all he could do to stop from fainting from the ferocity in Snape's eyes. It was moments like that that made James really believe Snape might accidentally kill him some time.

"Do you _want_ to die?" he asked, voice loud enough for everyone to hear, but still deep enough to send a tremor through James' body. It might have looked like a shiver of fear, and to the class it sounded like a threat, but to James he knew it was just a warning, and his shiver was shameful to say the least. He shook his head a little, unable to trust himself to speak, and was held in place for a moment. Snape seemed to be searching in his eyes for some clue that James was lying, and he'd be very grateful if Severus did just off him next time he had the chance, but then he was released. "Don't get too close to the cauldron." the Slytherin repeated, lower this time and more husky. James looked away, settling himself on the desk and beginning to read the directions, making sure he had them memorised by the time Slughorn came around. He wasn't going to look like an idiot when the teacher asked him how they'd achieved it.

Once the class was over, James was the first one out the door, shouldering his bag and not looking at any of his classmates, who probably thought the tables had turned and Snape was not the bully, rather than the bullied. They were right, but they had no idea to what extent.

"Hey, what was that about?" asked Peter as the rest of the marauders caught up with him half way down the corridor, "You should have hexed the bugger." he added, James nodded.

"Should've, but I couldn't be arsed with the detention afterwards." He lied. He could still feel goose-bumps on his body that had erupted when Snape had pinned him, and he felt dirty for his body taking pleasure in the act. He knew he was attracted to danger, that's why he was a bloody marauder! Every day he wished they'd be caught in one of their pranks and be punished by one of the teachers. The amount of detentions he held was a tribute to his own perverse need to be disciplined.

He'd never, ever, thought that any of that pleasure could ever be obtained for Severus Snape, however.

Sirius gave a sympathetic nod, unknowing of his friend's inner turmoil. "Yeah, but still, 'do you want to die?' what a cliché threat!" he joked, James smiled coldly. Too bad Snape had the power to carry that threat out. He felt stupid being so scared of the boy he'd bullied for so long, but even a off-hand comment like that could remind him that the Slytherin was the one pulling the strings.

He'd have to be more obedient in the future. It was obvious Snape would not take misconduct.

Said Slytherin walked past, carrying his oversized bag and keeping his head down, making his way to his next class. James watched his back. For someone who was always walking around either by himself or with Regulus (who was two years younger then them), he had a very strong hold on reality. Life wasn't a bunch of roses. James remembered the fire blazing in his eyes. It seemed that Snape was more angry that he'd put himself in danger then the fact that he'd disobeyed orders, but he couldn't be sure of that, and until then he would have to be the boy's human puppy. He shook his head ruefully; Snape wanted him dead, and it was just a matter of time before he lost his temper and saw it happen. James would have to be extra careful from now on, not to anger him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 6- This is… Homely?

James rolled over in his sleep; he seemed to spend a lot of time sleeping at the moment. He supposed it was another side effect of Tractamosa; his body was physically weaker than before, and thus he was exerting more energy to maintain the same pace he had done before he had contracted the disease, and so his body's way of making up for the extra expense was to indulge in more sleep.

"Oi! Prongsie!" came a shout from seemingly nowhere. He was dosing, drifting in and out of awake and oblivion, but at the shout from a familiar, friendly voice he jolted awake.

"What?" he questioned groggily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes as he surveyed his free friends, who were all sat around his bed as if it was story time; eyes wide and curious. James imagined that if human's had been born with tails, theirs would have been wagging excitedly.

"You said you'd give us details about last night remember!" reminded Wormtail, getting a little more comfortable on his spot on the floor, leaning against Remus' bed.

James rolled his eyes at the reminder; the night before, when he'd gone to see Snape about the potion, the marauders had assumed he'd gone to meet with his non-existent girlfriend. When he'd arrived at the meeting spot, he was warned not to puke; but he'd come very close nonetheless. The Elixir of Frozen Fire was probably the vilest potion he had ever had to drink, and he'd had his fair share of disgusting potions, most of which were used in some ingenious prank Remus had concocted, with no regard for the person actually drinking the potion. This particular one felt like it was freezing his insides, and for a second James thought he was going to get so cold he would pass out. Luckily he didn't, because he was pretty certain Snape wasn't going to catch him, and he didn't think he would be able to easily explain away any bruises hitting the concrete flooring in the dungeons would have given him. When he'd come back, (apparently much earlier than the boys had been expecting), they'd demanded details, and James had told them he was tired and he would tell them in the morning. However, he hadn't expected the morning to come so quickly. It wasn't exactly an 'I don't kiss and tell' situation if no kisses had been received.

He bit down a little harshly on his own tongue to distract himself when unbidden images of his bullied-turned-bully trying to kiss him filled his head.

"Do you guys have no lives?" he asked, grudgingly, noting that he himself would be exactly where they were had he been left in Gryffindor tower while one of them went off the visit a mysterious stranger they refused to talk about.

"Of course we don't." replied Remus, "Now spill."

James sat up and sat cross legged on his bed looking around at the three other boys, who were also sat cross legged, staring at him intently, as if waiting for him to change his mind – so that they might pounce on him for the details. James shook his head to clear his thoughts of any more strange images of his supposed worst enemy before he began trying to curb his friends desire for gossip.

"Okay, you want details?" He asked, and the boys nodded eagerly in reply, "I got there, I almost threw up, then I left. End of."

Pete whacked his forehead with his palm in retaliation to James' bluntness, the only one there with reactions quick enough before twelve o' clock to have worked out how ridiculously rude the boy had just sounded.

"You have no manners." He scolded. "She can't have been that bad. Was she?"

James thought about Snape, who had shoved the potion at him, told him not to throw up, and then only stuck around long enough to make sure he actually drank it and didn't get any puke on his shoes. The boy still seemed to be angry from the incident in their potions class, and wasn't in a talking mood. But then again, it was Snape, he was never in a talking mood, and besides, they were sworn enemies, they weren't supposed to just meet up for a jolly little chat over tea and biscuits; or in this case, Elixirs.

"Yes. He was terrible!" He seethed, despite his inner rationalizing, still able to muster up enough anger at the Slytherin's total lack of caring over his well-being. A pat on the back for actually managing to keep the damn Elixir down would have been nice, at least. A flare of anger curled inside him, just below his heart. It felt like the lick of a particularly angry flame trying to infiltrate his heart, but being held at bay by the potion he had consumed the night before. He noted it, but he couldn't do anything about it. He found himself so much angrier now than he had been before. Angry at Snape, who was taking advantage of his situation. Angry at his friends, who couldn't tell when to keep their noses out of his business, and angry at the world for choosing him to contract the damn disease to begin with. He felt this heated passion had to be something to do with Tractamosa, and wanted to ask Snape, but knew well enough the boy was not about to become his private advice-line.

He noticed a definite silence within their dorm, and looked up to see his friends staring at him with slightly concerned looks. Sirius was the first to speak, uttering one little word that made James shiver, despite not being cold.

"He?"

James paled considerably, trying to take a deep breath. Slips like that could be the end of him, his reputation, and his deliberate lie to keep his friends away from the deal he had made with the Slytherin. He would have to be far more careful in the future.

"Did I say he?" He asked, voice noticeably higher than it had been not moments before. In return, the marauders nodded. "Hell, I guess she did look rather masculine. It was a nightmare!" he laughed nervously.

"And you didn't know that before?" asked Remus, an edge in his tone that suggested he knew that he was being lied to. Despite the fact that Remus had spent the best part of three years lying to his friends about his furry little problem, the thing that annoyed the werewolf the most was being lied to.

"… No, it's complicated okay?" James sighed, trying to stop his own tone from becoming too defensive. "Are we done here?"

And they were done there. The other marauders decided not to question James, although it was obvious he was keeping something from them. James was a terrible liar. They made their way outside and sat next to the lake, it was a perfectly warm summer morning, and they intended to make the most of it. The giant squid flopped a lazy tentacle outside the water, as if waving to say hello to his favourite mischief makers.

"Okay, so down to business!" cried Sirius happily once the four of them were settled, He'd had enough of the animosity that seemed to have stretched between the three of them and James over the last week, and was desperately trying to get his companions back onto his favourite pass time: pranking. "We've got a few people we need to extract our revenge on this year." he grinned.

"I say Filch is top priority!" Joined in James, glad for the excuse to stop mulling over the stretch their friendship was going through, "and with him comes that annoying cat."

He'd feel sorry for Mrs Norris; not only was she stuck with a horrible name, but she belonged to Filch, but it was hard to feel sorry for a cat when she was just as bad as her master. He too was grinning though, his first week back had been tough, and he was looking forward to chilling out and kicking back with some good ol' pranking.

"After those comes Snivellus though." added Peter, with Remus nodding along enthusiastically. However, at the suggestion James stilled and his grin slipped. He was terrified to even look at the greasy-haired Slytherin in the corridor, in case the boy thought he was doing it in the wrong way. How would the hooked-nose boy react to his friends from pranking him? How was James going to refuse to participate without risking his friendship and reputation? And even if he did refuse to participate there was no guarantee that Snape would not punish him for his friends' actions.

He paled, resolving to not use the word 'punish', or any variation of, whilst referring to the Slytherin again. His own sick sexual fantasies of being caught and taught the error of his ways were supposed to be kept to him a certain few select females. Snape could keep out of his mind, if he so pleased.

It pissed him off that the boy was now invading his fantasies as well, as if James didn't think about him enough. He didn't need the mental images of the boy physically punishing him to remind him that Snape was completely in control of his life, his reputation and his now even his fantasies.

"But remember we can't do anything too big to him." he reminded solemnly. Oh how he would love to extract his revenge on the Slytherin, but his life was on the line after all. Sirius gave him a look, having been involved in a conversation with Pete about what exactly they could do to the Slytherin, and having had been interrupted by the Potter heir's nervous muttering. He frowned as he mulled over what he friend had said.

"That's right, you guys are palls now, aren't you?" he said spitefully, crossing his arms. James looked up, having been staring at his hands playing with his laces, and searched Sirius hard grey eyes to see why he was angry all of a sudden.

"What makes you say that?" he asked uncertainly, voice a little higher than usual. The love-potion thing was still fresh in his mind and he didn't want to lose his friend again so quickly. He wasn't sure how many arguments they could take before everything fell apart. They had barely fought at all before the beginning of this school year.

"You two were acting pretty friendly during potions. And now you're telling us not to prank him!" Sirius explained, but James rolled his eyes. If he had known that was how the boy would take it he wouldn't have said anything. Sirius was so… immature sometimes. One little chat in potions did not make the two fifteen year olds best buddies. If only Sirius had known exactly why James had been so eager to score brownie points with the boy, they would be able to avoid this entire confrontation...

He sighed, looking around his friends. He wished he could tell them, he wanted to tell them, he wanted to avoid all the arguments his constant having to lie was developing – but he also wanted to avoid the worry and unnaturalness he knew would come should he give up and tell the rest of the marauders.

"Okay first off, if you remember he _threatened my life. _I would hardly call that friendly! And I only said don't do anything too big because Dumbledore's cracking down on it this year, remember!" He said instead, annoyed at himself for raising his voice, but even more annoyed at the familiar feeling of licking flames inside his body that caused his constantly anger. It drained mentally and physically to fight away the urge to yell all the time, to attack and hate and damn everyone who even slightly annoyed him.

_Why was it he and Sirius were sparking so much at the moment?_ He asked himself, Sirius was his best friend, yet all they seemed to be doing was fighting. He knew most of it was his fault – he knew that instead of attacking the small first year that was dawdling to class the other day and getting in his way he had reverted to being spiteful towards Sirius, because Sirius was his best friend – a sounding board, and when needed a venting pillow, but he knew if he kept up then their friendship was going to be on the rocks properly.

Sirius deflated somewhat and the boy's outburst. James was still seething slightly, trying to curb his anger. The two of them looked away from each other, both unwilling to apologise for the spark.

"Yeah. I guess you're right, sorry." Sirius muttered, but James was unwilling to agree.

"I think we should prank Lily Evans." Came Remus' voice through all the commotion. James and Sirius shot him a surprised look.

"Why?" asked James, he'd been after Lily for a while now, so they'd never thought about pranking her before. Teasing, sure, but actual pranking, no.

"Just a thought." He shrugged. All the boys looked to James. Remus was the mind behind all their pranks, if he suggested pranking Lily then he probably had something in mind.

James struck up a thinking pose. It could be potentially very funny, but at the same time he'd never get on her good side if he was pranking her. Then again, he was never on her good side as long as he was pranking Snivellus, and according to the rest of the marauders that would never stop. He couldn't see how those two were friends. Snape was nothing but a slimy, greasy, snot-nosed, _hooked_-nosed, lanky-haired, vampiric, racist, evil, sadistic bastard! His fists clenched.

"I'm gunna crush that bastard." He muttered, wishing he had the courage, or even the opportunity to carry out the wish.

"It was only a suggestion!" protested Remus. James shot him a glance. He was slightly annoyed that he was put back in the position of thinking about Snape, when he should have been thinking about Lily. He knew it wasn't Remus' fault he was already annoyed, so instead of getting upset he took a deep breath and said:

"Sorry, yeah… let's prank Lily. In fact, I want you to come up with the best prank in the history of Hogwarts so far. And Lily's the target!"

The rest of the marauders exchanged worried looks. Something was _definitely_ wrong with James. Remus suggesting they prank Lily was supposed to make him angry, not make him excited about the idea. What was wrong with their friend? He was constantly angry about the stupidest of little things, and then something they had pre-discussed that was supposed to make him angry was not worth the shouting?

"Okay, what the hell man? You're acting like a bitch on her monthlies!"

Sirius had a habit of calling females bitches, when asked about it he denied vehemently that it was anything to do with canine instincts, but they all knew that their animagus forms had a direct effect on their human lives. Pete had a fondness for cheese that was rivaled by nobody, but if he ate too much he would get sick. James himself often found himself wondering the woods late at night to calm down.

He didn't appreciate being called out for acting like a girl by someone who couldn't even control their animagus attitude. In retaliation, he snarled at Remus, unable to keep his anger at bay any longer.

"Wanna keep your dog on a leash?!" He attacked, making Sirius stand in anger.

James went to stand too, ready for the fight, but at that moment an Owl fluttered down from a nearby tree and a letter landed in James lap. Sirius was fairly certain whatever was agitating his friend had something to do with all the letters and parcels James was getting. James had said when he'd gotten the pain killer potion that it was pre-arranged, but the boy had only just then woken, and hadn't woken up during the night. Sirius would have known, he was a fairly light sleeper, and he'd asked Pete, who was even more of a light sleeper. James ripped open the letter and read its content quickly, standing up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sirius shouted as the other boy began to make his way towards the castle.

"Nowhere." The boy replied, not even bothering to wave over his shoulder as he rushed off. Sirius sighed. James was his best friend, why couldn't he be trusted with whatever James was receiving in these letters of his? Besides, the boy was being overly critical and angry all the time, enough that it was making Sirius just as angry. They fought nonstop and James had a habit of acting like a bitch in an argument, dragging in people who didn't have anything to do with it, like Moony.

When James reached the castle he went straight to the dungeons, through the classroom they used for potions, to Slughorn's storeroom, and picked up a glass of powdered unicorn horn. Just as the letter told him to do. The bookcase they kept the ingredients on swung around, taking James with it. He steadied himself on the other side, turned and went down a damp corridor with no portraits hanging on any of the walls. Once he reached a plain wooden door, he knocked twice.

"C'min." came the call from inside, James swung open the door slowly and entered the room cautiously. Snape was leaning over a cauldron with a displeased frown on his face. James clutched the letter at his side and bit his lip, anger subsided in the short walk up here, and replaced with confoundedness and nervousness. He wasn't sure why he was here, only that he'd been given directions and asked to come. Snape, however, did not seem to be in any great rush to greet him, so he took the liberty of sitting down on the arm of one of the arm chairs. He'd never been in this place before, but it was relatively comfy; a little dark and he didn't like the colour scheme (Green and Silver), but still relatively comfy.

"Potter." He jumped at the sound of Snape's voice, standing up with his back straight, gulping when he found the other occupant of the room staring at him intently. "What do you know about Werewolves?"

James lowered his eyes and glared at the floor. He wondered if this was his order or not, to spill everything he knew about werewolves. With Remus as his friend, it was a fair amount, but he didn't want Snape to know any of it, lest the admittedly intelligent boy catch on. But what would be the consequences if he didn't offer up the information. Should he find his courage and refuse, or should he swallow his pride and lie that he knew nothing. He doubted the second option would work, Snape wouldn't have called him here if he didn't think James knew something.

"I don't know what you're doing but I'm not telling you anything I know about werewolves." he said, sounding braver then he felt, constantly reminded that Snape had control over his life. Snape stirred the potion once, and worried his lower lip between his teeth. He glanced at the boy, but then moved his eyes right back to his potion.

"I'm not trying to find out anything I shouldn't." he replied. "This is my work room by the way, You and Dumbledore are the only people that know about it. This is where we'll meet when I need to give you the Elixir." he explained, James nodded, trying to memorise the way to it. It wasn't too hard. He'd just have to remember which ingredient to pick up. Powdered Unicorn horn. He nodded again. He was glad Snape seemed to be in the talking mood, forthcoming with information, and not angry when James was not.

"… You're in the way."

James jumped again, suddenly realising the Snape was trying to get past him. He stepped to one side and Snape picked up one of the many books on the shelf James had been standing in front of. The book he'd picked up was one entitled 'Werewolf Habits'. James glared at it. Why did Snape want to know so much about werewolves anyway?

"Did you know Werewolves are insanely strong, even when in human form?" asked a voice beside him, all the spite it usually had disappeared. Snape's eyes hadn't even left the book. James nodded and cleared his throat; thinking back to the day before, when Remus had lost his temper and pushed him against the wall.

"Yeah, I… um… did."

If this wasn't the most awkward discussion, then James didn't know what was. He looked around the room. Two armchairs and a sofa (for one guy?) a mirror, some bedding in the corner, folded neatly, and two doors. One was the plain door he'd come through, and the other must lead to somewhere else, which Snape wasn't going to elaborate on. There were no windows and no pictures on the walls. There was a Slytherin banner, and the Hogwarts crest, hanging from the far wall. The other walls were bare. The sofa and chairs were black, and it's cushions were green. On the side of the room opposite where James stood, bellow the Hogwarts crest, three cauldrons were lined up. Two of them were bubbling. There was an old, fraying rug on the floor, separating the furniture. It was cream, but James got the impression it had once been white. It was so old, anything could have happened to it.

"This is… Homely?"

"I need it to be comfortable, in case I work too late and end up sleeping here."

That explained the bedding. "How often does that happen?"

"…" Snape didn't look like he was about to answer, but James didn't get the impression he was being kicked out either. Snape wasn't acknowledging him, but he wasn't telling him to leave. So he got up to explore, he wanted to know what was on the other side of the door. And when he crossed the room and grasped the handle without any protests, he figured it was allowed. He pushed open the door to be met with a small bathroom: sink, toilet, and shower. Really, how long did Snape spend down here? Next to shower, on a small shelf, were three bottles, one unbranded shampoo, conditioner to go with it, and an unbranded shower gel. Hanging by a hook in the wall, on the other side of the shower, was a light green flannel. He rose an eyebrow. He was under the impression that Snape never washed his hair. And he couldn't imagine Dumbledore coming all the way down there to take a quick shower.

"You know it's not polite to go through someone's stuff right?" asked Snape from the doorway of the bathroom. James jumped again and swivelled round. He found himself nose to chest with his enemy, having been closer to the boy than he had thought from behind. He instinctively took a step back, but not before inhaling an intoxicating smell from the boy's shirt.

"Sorry." he said instantly, somewhat afraid of Snape, especially when he was in his own… he'd called it a work room, but it really was more like a home. Not a home _he'd_ live in, but definitely somewhere he could imagine Snape taking up residence. He was trapped in the bathroom, with Snape in the doorway and nowhere to run, and no weapon to fight with. Even if he did, he doubted he could physically overpower the Slytherin in his current state of wellbeing.

Snape turned on his heel and walked back into the main area, making the Gryffindor breathe a sigh of relief that probably didn't go completely unnoticed by his company. James followed like a puppy trailing his master, guessing the Snape didn't really want him in the bathroom, or shower room; since there was no bath he couldn't really call it a bathroom. Snape had gone back to frowning at the potion he was brewing, so James decided to peek into the other cauldrons.

"Don't go near the middle one. The fumes will mess up your recovery… and your hair."

"My hair?"

"You don't seem to care about your health, so I thought if I mentioned your hair, it may have some effect."

James didn't need to be reminded that he was indeed a little to vain, and supposedly stupid, but he used this as more evidence that Snape wasn't out to kill him, and felt his confidence grow a little more. With more conversations such as this one he might even find the courage to breach the anger issue.

"I won't go near it…" He promised. "I don't wanna piss you off again." he looked up to see Snape smirk. He was right, the Slytherin really was a sadistic bastard! And could only blush knowing that Snape knew the boy was completely under his thumb. That he was… afraid of him.

"So…" he wrinkled his nose at the smell of the potion on the far right. The only one not bubbling. "This is the Elixir of Frozen Fire isn't it?"

Snape nodded.

"If I shouldn't go near potions, why'd you send me to go sniff at the love potion?" the question had simply slipped into James' mind, and so he voiced it.

"You shouldn't go near incomplete potions. If the potions already complete then you've nothing to worry about." replied the Slytherin. James pouted.

"So this Elixir is already complete? Couldn't I just take it now?"

"It doesn't work like that. Besides, those are the remains. With the Elixir, you've got to wait two days after it reaches its coldest point before you throw it out."

"Why?"

"…" Snape stirred the potion again, looking more and more annoyed each time he did. "… I think it's just a superstition actually. In any case, it wouldn't do you any good to drink it now. The potion itself is fairly new, and we haven't done much research into it, so I don't know how it would affect you."

James nodded, he played with the hem of his school shirt. Snape gave an irritated sigh, but the Gryffindor got the impression that he was annoyed at the potion, and not at his questioning.

"Why did you get to make that potion then, if I can't be around incomplete stuff?"

There was a pause, in which Snape continued to work on the cauldron, but then he looked up, his eyes hard and cold, and just stared at James as if he should already know the answer. Upon reflection, James knew exactly why he had been told to make it. He'd felt particularly weak the day afterwards, and now realized why. Severus was just being vindictive in his very first order.

He lowered his eyes to the floor and heard;

"You can go, you know."

**Revision of this chapter complete… took a while. Please enjoy, and review. I would also like all readers of Dependence, if they have time, to check out a poll on my profile regarding a possible sequel I might be developing, should there be enough interest from the people on this sight. : )**

**Thank you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter **

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 7- Jamie? No wait, Janie!

The Potter heir woke up in a surprisingly good mood. He stretched out like a cat, working all his limbs and faintly noticing that the angry burning feeling he'd had in his chest for the last couple of days seemed to have receded a fair amount. He looked around the room contentedly, thinking about the conversation he had had with his Slytherin savior the day before. During their talk he'd almost convinced himself that Snape was only making a business deal, and so long as he kept up his side of the deal all would be fine, but upon reflection of why Severus would have sent James to make a potion he knew would have affected the boy badly, he admitted that he would still have to pussy-foot around the boy for the time being. There was a tiny lick of a flame at his heart when he realized he'd still have to bend to his enemies will for a while longer, but he crushed it down with positive thinking. He could hardly afford to be angry today after the fight he had had with Sirius the day before. They had begrudgingly apologized to each other when James eventually returned to the Gryffindor common late in the evening after an afternoon of walking in the forest as a stag, but there was still a chilly air hanging between them that he'd yet been able to shake.

He took a brief glance at the clock, seeing Pete still asleep, and read the luminescent numbers with blurry eyes. Five o' clock. He would never wake up this early normally, but he fished out in the back of his mind why he would be feeling subconsciously nervous enough to wake at five.

Quidditch tryouts.

Last year the cup had gone to Ravenclaw, despite their harsh and extensive training regime, and Sally Wood, their feisty but often stressed captain had decided there was nothing for it but to re-do tryouts this year, for everyone, rather than just the new comers to replace the seventh years and those who quit because they couldn't take the heat. In her mind the team was slacking, and there was nothing scarier that the thought of a Sally Wood style tryout. Especially when his body was weak and he were likely to fall off his broom if someone passed him the quaffle. But Quidditch was his life, between the sport and pranking with the marauders, he had little room to be interested in anything else besides Lily Evans, and he wouldn't know what to do with himself if he failed the tryouts and didn't have practice and matches to look forward to and keep him busy.

He glanced over at Sirius' bed, who was snoring lightly with one arm dangling over the side – at Pete, who had transformed during the night again and was curled up on the pillow, and at Remus, who was growling slightly every now and again, probably dreaming about chasing rabbits. He would be especially bored if he failed tryouts, because his friends might not want him on the pranking crew much longer if he continued to fight with them and stop them from attacking Snape.

He wondered if Snape had any animals, when a school owl came tapping on his window persistently, a letter wrapped around his leg with a black ribbon James was beginning to recognize as Snape's signature tie. He could hardly see the hooked nosed man as an animal lover, and rushed the owl away as soon as he unlatched the parchment, not liking the hungry look it had in its eye as it stared down Peter's tiny form, and trying to push away the wave of annoyance he felt at the realization that the dungeon bat was the only person he was likely to receive a letter from lately.

The note wasn't addressed, nor signed, but the ribbon and the contents were enough to give an accurate assumption as to it might be from. He stuffed the black silk into his bedside draw, briefly noting that he was beginning to get quite a collection of little black ribbons there, and read the note allowed under his breath. With every word he whispered he grew paler and paler.

"Tryouts are nerve wracking, are they not?" He read, "I can't imagine you would do too well if you weren't wearing the proper kit. Perhaps, instead, a dress? Your order for the day is to dress in women's clothing – I am sure you won't find it too challenging, given your obvious skills for keeping your head in the clouds, to stay on the broom. And I've been told you know your way around a bra. Here's wishing you the best of luck for the upcoming tryouts."

He could practically feel the sarcasm coming off the page, _best of luck in the upcoming tryouts_ his ass. Snape had been saving this little gem for that day deliberately hadn't he? _Th__e__ bastard_.

James screwed up the letter in his hand, wondering whether it would be best to let out his anger by burning it, or simply hitting something, and tried to think about it logically. Snape wanted him to cross dress; he rationalized, trying to forget about the unfortunate connotations of the above sentence. It wasn't as if he just kept girls clothes around for such an occasion, and so realized it was good he had woken early, in order for him to sneak into the girls dormitory and beg them to let him to borrow some items.

He felt heat rising to his cheeks at the mere thought of the population of Hogwarts seeing him wearing borrowed, feminine clothing, and worse – somewhere above them on a broom. He would admit he had more than enough confidence to get through the tryouts, but in his physically worn state, and wearing clothes not exactly made for spreading ones legs, he had no doubt todays tryouts would be a disaster. For all of Snape's comments of his knowing his way around a bra, he couldn't exactly see him wearing one himself.

Challenge one, however, would be getting the girls to agree to be charitable with their clothing. He could transfigure his own clothing, but he wasn't entirely sure it would have the desired effect – he didn't know women's clothing in enough detail to get it right, and in any case, using magic on clothing usually had a negative effect on the seams. He left the dormitory quietly, trying not to disturb his friends, after putting the letter in his draw. He was still in his PJ's, which consisted of loose hanging jogging trousers and little else, but he was sure the girls would rectify that – they would probably find his sudden wish to cross dress hilarious.

Once he reached the girls staircase he realized his real first challenge. He'd never been able to scale this thing without almost breaking his neck before, and he was fairly certain this wasn't going to be an exception. Still, grabbing the sides of the walls, he began to make his way forward, watching as the stairs turned to slide under his feet, he pushed against the wall and used his arms to support him as he scaled the height. He had a technique down from the hundreds of times he had tried this before, but almost instantly he felt his arms begin to shake from the physical strain of battle with his illness and the wall. By the time he reached the top, he'd slipped twice, falling back down to the bottom each time, cut open his leg, and his arms felt as if they were on fire. He hoped Snape appreciated the lengths he was going through to do this stupid task!

He steadied himself on the small platform before the stairs-turned-slide, just outside the fifth year girls dorm, taking shallow breaths and wiping at the sweat that had accumulated on his forehead. There was the familiar, angry monster licking at his heart again, and he placed a hand there, trying to calm it. He leant against the door, and promptly fell through it.

A short, piercing scream assaulted his ears, and then;

"Potter! What the hell are you doing up here?" The voice was melodic, but filled with indignity. It came out as a hushed, whisper-shout, and James looked up to see Lily Evans, wrapping a silk dressing gown about her person, crossing the room to hush Alice. The two of them shot furtive glances, both at James, and at the other beds in the room, where the other girls were still trying to sleep. It seemed Lily and Alice had also been trying to sleep, if the croaky voices and remnants of yesterday's mascara were anything to go by.

"Can I come in? Is everyone decent?" James asked, a little belatedly, making the girls roll their eyes. He stumbled to his feet, clutching at his chest again as pain seared through there at the movement. Not an ache; or the usual angry feeling, that didn't precisely hurt, but was more of an emotional pull, but an actual, burning pain. He almost cried out at the feeling, thoughts rushing through his head about what was sure to be his imminent death – here it was, the combustion, it would be over within minutes – but it was gone as soon as it had come, and James was left staring at the occupants of the room in confusion, who stared back, just as weary.

There were five girls in the Gryffindor fifth year, but only one of them was about his size – and by that he was loathe to admit it wasn't particularly robust. He had been perfectly normal before, if slightly shorter than average and toned rather than muscled, but recently he had all but stopped eating, and when he did eat it made him feel sick. The disease was eating away at his body and he could feel it. The only thing that was stopping it getting to his internal organs was the Elixir, and that was a strain to earn every week.

"So what is it?" asked Alice, after a moments silence where the three Gryffindor's just stared at each other. James took a deep breath, trying to get some air to his lungs. Then;

"Would you mind if I… borrowed some clothes?"

The two girls raised their eyebrows, both of them, for it was shock they were experiencing, and it wasn't a plan thing to show their confusion. Then Lily spoke.

"Excuse me?" She asked, her voice typically Hampshire and higher in her state of bewilderment.

"You heard me. Please may I borrow some clothes?" James repeated, fidgeting on the spot, wary that the two girls were openly staring at him. He sighed, remembering the letter he had received less than an hour before. "Specifically a dress if you have one."

Lily couldn't help it, a small giggle slipped past her lips at the image of the iconic Gryffindor Chaser in one of her dresses.

"Do you plan on wearing it?" She asked.

James messed up his hair, looking anywhere but at the teenagers in front of him.

"Well, that was the plan."

The girl burst into fits of laughter, hushing them almost as quickly as they started, shoulders shaking violently as they clung to each other to get the other to pipe down. James knew it wasn't to save face with him, they would laugh at him as openly as they liked – but more so that they didn't wake their roommates.

"Why?" asked Alice, once her giggles had subsided. The sole boy occupant of the room hadn't expected the question, but thought fast for an excuse.

"It's um… sponsored. I'm gunna dress as a girl and ask people to pay me for doing it. Muggles do it all the time." and for that, he could kiss them, it was the perfect excuse.

"What charity?"

He'd forgotten Lily was muggle born. A charity… a charity?

"The registry office for half breeds. They need more money to help certain magical creatures find work." James replied after a moment's deliberation. He remembered Remus doing some work for them over the summer, since he wouldn't be able to find much work without their help. The werewolf was glad they even existed, even if they couldn't really do much, and so if James was going to do this, he might as well help his friend along the way. He'd turn Snivellus' little task into a charity event. Lily seemed to think about for a moment, staring at the boy intently, before she stood up and started rooting through her trunk.

"You're about my size right?" she asked absently, "Yeah… you're pretty tiny, considering…"

"Considering what?" he couldn't help but ask, wrapping his arms around himself subconsciously. He'd known he'd seen a marked difference in his weight since he contracted the disease, but he hadn't realized he'd begun to show to other people as well. He would have to start wearing baggier clothing.

"That you're a guy. And a popular one at that."

"Aww, Lils, you think I'm popular?" He joked, covering up his self-consciousness.

"Don't call me that." She scolded, pulling something form her draw and chucking it at the boy, who caught it with Chaser like reflexes and unfurled it, holding it out at arms lengths. He made a face.

It was a dress. A wide neck, with sleeves and a silky material, it hung shapeless, but Lily ushered him towards the adjacent en suite bathroom and he reluctantly pulled off his joggers and replaced it with the dress, which he was annoyed to see hung loosely on him around the neck and shoulders, falling to his mid-thighs. He wasn't a fan of the dark green material, but pushed through the door to get the girls opinion anyway, standing awkwardly with his legs apart and his arms stiff at his side. Lily drew a chunky, pale pink belt around his waist and pulled it tight, so that he looked as if he had more of an hour glass figure. He grimaced at it, and took a step back when Lily drew her wand.

"What are you planning on doing?" he asked defensively, ignoring his voice quivering ever so slightly. She smirked.

"If you're going to do this, you're going to do this right! It's just a quick shaving charm. I do it all the time." James' eyes widened and he shook his head slightly, but he knew that you really couldn't wear a short dress with hairy legs, and, wondering whether he could ask if she had any longer (preferably floor length) dress, she took the opportunity to perform the charm. He watched, un-amused, as he dark leg hair fell to the floor, leaving his legs silky smooth to the touch. It was so… Feminine. He'd shifted uncomfortably as the dress bunched up around his boxers, and shook his head firmly when Lily noticed.

"You wanna be walking around with half your underwear hanging out all day?" She asked, "There's a reason girls wear these." She added, holding up a brand new, still packaged set of knickers. James begrudgingly took them, trying not to think about _lace_, of all things, and walked back into the bathroom to an entourage of Alice's giggles.

"Just need to do hair and make-up now." Lily greeted him as he came back out, blushing madly and walking awkwardly. James grimaced again.

"No way!" he shouted, trying to put his foot down, but he knew it had been hopeless as soon as he had asked to borrow the dress. Lily never did anything half-heartedly, and she would make damn sure that if he was wearing her clothes, he would look good in them. He sighed relenting. "What do you plan to do?" he asked, defensive again, messing with the hair on his legs was one thing, messing with the hair on his head was completely different, and he had no clue what type of junk she might put on his face. Lily dug through her trunk again, until she pulled out a light pink headband. It had never suited her, clashing with her hair colour too much, so at least someone would get some use out of it.

"Just put this on." she said, flinging it at him. He caught it and placed it on his head. Lily fussed with his fringe for a bit, tried (and failed) to smooth out the rest of his hair, and then shoved him in front of a mirror. He immediately flushed, but Lily was already rubbing moisturizer into his cheeks, and Alice had come over with a black tube, taking off his glasses. They pinched and pulled at his face for a good half an hour, Lily even trying some straightening spells on his hair – to no avail, and eventually he was granted his glasses back and turned to face himself in the mirror of the girls dressing table.

"I don't think I can do this." he moaned. Lily patted him on his back, giving him the 'it's all gunna be fine' smile. James sighed and pouted.

"Why's it green anyway?" He asked, pulled at the folds of the dress, and the chunky Baby pink jewelry Alice had given him, a large hearted pendant and some sparkly bangles. "I feel like a Slytherin. A girl Slytherin!"

"I'm a redhead, I suit green. And you suit green too, so don't be such a baby!" James sighed again, pulling out a thank you, despite not being particularly grateful for what they had done to him, and made his way back down the stairs. They immediately turned into a slide again and deposited him at the bottom ungracefully. He winced as pain ran up his ribs and brought his legs together, blushing at the stares he was getting from occupants of the common room; Peter being one of those. The rat boy walked up to his friend and offered a hand up, who took it gratefully.

"What'd they do? I think dressing you like one of them is a little drastic. Then again, what were you doing up there in the first place?" asked the boy, grinning in a way that suggested he was trying not to laugh. James laughed nervously.

"Actually, I agreed to this. I'm doing a sponsored… thing." he couldn't quite bring himself to say cross dress to Wormtail. The boy raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"I see… but don't you have tryouts today?" he asked. James felt a familiar clench in his stomach, the uncomfortable feeling of nerves and dread.

"Yeah, well… the show must go on!" he laughed, not feeling particularly funny, noticing Sirius falling just as gracefully as he had done, down the boy's stairs, followed by a just as sleepy Remus… how long had he been dressing in the girls dorm? Sirius spotted Peter and made his way over.

"Hey Pete, you seen Prongs?" Peter chuckled nervously and James moaned. He couldn't look that much like a girl could he? He knew they'd made his eye lashes longer and his lips a bit redder, but he was standing right there! "Oh sorry, are you new? I'm Sirius by… the… Jamie?"

James rolled his eyes, now much more accentuated – making the action look pretty rather than scathing. Sirius was an idiot in the mornings. He gave a cute curtsey; kidding of course. Sirius grinned.

"You know I'm really starting to have my doubts about you James." James gave him a curious, confused look. "Well, first off you 'accidentally' fall in love with me and end up kissing me, secondly, you tell us your date was a 'he' - although you did clarify that was a mistake - but now your dressing as a girl?… are you _sure_ you're not gay?"

James whacked him round the head.

"I'm not gay! This is sponsored." he was really starting to like that excuse. Remus came up behind him and hugged him tightly round the middle, taking a deep inhale through his nose. James squeaked.

"You smell nice." was the only greeting he got, and James remembered the girls spraying him with some sort of perfume. Remus was the worst for waking up in the mornings. "Have we met?"

"Remus… you're such a pervert." Remus blinked a few times. He was? "You can't just go around hugging and smelling young girls." James explained, granted he wasn't a girl, but Remus obviously had it in his head that he was. Sirius was laughing his head off somewhere in the background, but James was too intent on making sure Remus didn't do this on a regular basis.

"But… You smell nice." A heightened sense of smell being another werewolf perk. James rolled his eyes, trying to break out of Remus' strong hold around his waist.

"Remus it's me!" he almost screamed. Remus blinked again.

"Jamie?" James nodded. "No… Janie." Sirius started up his laughing again, and this time Pete joined in. Remus somehow found it in his heart to let go of James, who had been struggling against the hug for a little while. James glared.

"Sponsored cross dressing Remus. It's not that uncommon in the muggle world!"

Remus seemed to snap out of it. "What charity?"

He and Lily were so alike. James flushed a little, looking elsewhere but at his friend. Remus was the one he was doing this for really. Snape may have ordered him to do it, but Remus was going to be the one he'd have in mind when people laughed at him. He was doing this for Remus.

"The registry office for half breeds." he mumbled. Remus blinked a few more times, before enveloping him into a hug again, a tight, bone crushing thing that made his friend choke slightly. Sirius had stopped laughing now.

"Hey Janie?" he asked, James glared at him, breaking away from Remus' emotional moment. "Why do you keep doing things without tell us. We totally would've joined you… but we don't have any girls clothes!"

James smiled. "I didn't either. I borrowed these off Lily. I'd say you could get some too… but you guys are all a lot bigger, and so…" he blushed. "well, you know."

"yeah, we know you've got the figure of a preadolescent girl." replied Pete, which earned him a glare, a lick of anger trying desperately to get at his heart, spreading it's black hate, but being held at bay by the fact he was trying to do something nice for his friend. He really would have to keep an eye on his weight. As it was, Sirius decided now was the time to start laughing again.


	8. Chapter 8

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 8 - Wolf's Bane.

James walked quickly down the hallway, trying not to take notice of the stares he was attracting. If he didn't hurry up he was going to be late, and Sally Woods hates late people. James pulled at the material of the skirt Lily had lent him, glancing around shyly, keeping a quick pace down the corridor, and coming to a stop just outside the great doors which lead to the grounds outside. There he was met with Dumbledore, who he hadn't seen since his first day back. He blushed, looking down at the green folds of the skirt and the thigh high white socks.

"Morning James." said the aging headmaster, the twinkle growing ever brighter in his eyes - he obviously found James' situation highly amusing. "Got anything in paper yet?" he asked, only a hint of seriousness in his voice. James chose not to answer the question.

"What do you mean sir? This is for charity." Dumbledore rose on elegant eyebrow.

"You know they don't give you uniforms at the tryouts. I don't think your attire is very appropriate." said the wise old man, James nodded and ruffled his hair nervously, ruining Lily's work, (not that her valiant efforts had done much to smooth it down).

"The things I do for charity!" he exclaimed, wary of time, he hurried off to the pitch. When he arrived he was met with Sally, her brother Oliver (the family name), and Sirius, (who was more nervous then James as it was his first time trying out). There was a bunch of other Gryffindor guys and girls, including a few 7th years, which made James blush harder, embarrassed at the idea of older teens taking the piss out of him.

"Jamie! You're late!" yelled Sally, James scowled.

"No I'm not, I'm on time. And don't call me that!" he protested.

"Don't take liberties, just because you were on the team last year does not mean you'll get on-" she paused, as if taking him in for the first time - "what are you _wearing?"_ she asked, Sirius grinned.

"As you can see he's sporting a rather fetching-"

"DON'T WANT TO KNOW! C'mon, let start!"

And, after all was said and done, the tryouts did not go so absolutely terribly that James was kicked off the team and right out of Hogwarts, as had been his fear. Contrary, Sally had been rather impressed with his ability to ride side-saddle and not show anything indecent to the spectators. She had also been impressed by Sirius' quick reflexes, which were emphasised by his quick wit, (she also may have been just a little bit charmed by his flirty nature), and the two boys walked away feeling rather pleased with themselves. Granted, they had no clue if they'd actually made it on the team, but Sally's attitude had made them happy. James and Sirius met up with the other two marauders outside the pitch, both with identical grins on their faces.

"Nice one Siri, I love how you kicked the Quaffle to Jerkson while hitting away the Bludger. I think you'll make a great Beater!" Encouraged Peter, somewhat in awe, as Quidditch had never been his thing and he was still trying to get his head around why anybody would want to be that high up in the air. James was about to add his support as well, when he was tapped on the shoulder by a younger, more feminine looking Sirius.

"Reggie?" - From the older brother.

"Potter, have you seen Sev?" asked the early teen, looking subdued and… even more feminine then usual, it really was no wonder Sirius was so protective. "He's been missing since this morning." the kid explained. James gave Sirius a look, who was looking back at James with a 'why would he be asking you?' look. James also wondered why Regulus would be asking him.

"I haven't seen him. It's not like we're friends or anything." he told Regulus, who looked down, as if ashamed. James sighed; he'd always had a weak spot for Sirius' little brother. "If I see I'll tell him you're looking for him." Regulus nodded, looking at the floor, and ran off towards the castle. Sirius rolled his eyes at James.

"That kid worries too much. And you worry about him too much." he scolded, James grinned.

"Probably, but he's just such a cute kid."

He ignored the 'if you go near him I'll rip your balls off' glare he was receiving from Sirius, and stuck his tongue out. He was actually more confused as to why 1. Reggie thought he would know where Snape was, and 2. He didn't mention his attire, as if he'd been expecting it. Was Snape discussing their deal with Regulus? Maybe when he was getting written confirmation of the deal he should get a confidentiality agreement as well. He didn't want Sirius' finding out from his little brother.

The four boys slowly made their way back to the castle, lingering in the last hours of summer air, as autumn was creeping in. Chilly air ghosting it's way under their robes as they dawdled towards the grey walls. James wanted to stay outside for a little longer, as tomorrow was Monday and they'd be back in lessons, and so wouldn't be able to enjoy the outdoors. Remus had to remind them that as animagi it was now easier for the them to sneak out, then it had been before. And even then they'd had the help of the cloak and the map - which Remus would still have to rely on. James had agree, and for the most part had a good rest of the day (minus getting laughed at most of the time.) he also made a fair amount of Galleons for the Registry Office, he collected it all together back in the common, after a full day of walking around in a skirt. He was sat down on the Gryffindor common room floor, still wearing the outfit borrowed from Lily, as the clock ticked it's way towards curfew, counting up the amount of Galleons he had raised for his chosen charity. Personally, he'd thought this had been the best order Snape had given him so far. It hadn't been overly embarrassing, and he'd been able to help out a friend.

Once he'd counted it all up he told his friends he'd be taking it down to McGonagall so she could send it off, and left the common room with Sirius for a last stroll before they were confined to Gryffindor tower for the rest of the night. On the way they had no complications, and McGonagall seemed very happy with the work they'd done for charity, and awarded them house points. On the way back, however, they ran into Regulus.

"Oh hey guys…" he mumbled, after accidentally bumping into them, Sirius ruffled his hair in a brotherly way, and James smiled at him.

"Should you be out this far into the castle? It's almost Curfew, shouldn't you be nearer the dungeons?" asked Sirius, always protective. James rolled his eyes behind his best friends back.

"C'mon Siri, like you weren't sneaking out for late night strolls in third year." he tried to reason. Sirius gave him a 'you wouldn't understand' look, so James just shrugged at the third year Slytherin. Most Slytherin's he hated, sure - but like he said, he had a weak spot for Siri's younger brother.

"I'm looking for Sev!" glared Regulus, to which James froze.

"He's still missing?!" he exclaimed, it had been a number of hours since Reggie had last come to them, where could Snape disappear to for such a long time? He clenched his fists. What a jerk, to make Regulus worry so much - was it so much just to send an owl? He grit his teeth, a sudden thought striking him. He snapped his fingers and took off towards the dungeons, shouting for Sirius to go back by himself. Basically, he was thoroughly pissed at Snape for worrying Regulus, and he figured he'd be in his work room, since he'd told James he'd made it homely so he could stay down there for as long as he wanted.

James came to a stop outside the bookcase in Slughorn's storeroom, trying to catch his breath. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Reggie, he repeated to himself. It wasn't as if he cared about Snape's well being or anything. He was pissed because the bastard had worried Regulus - and also because he'd dressed in a fucking skirt and Snape had hollowed himself up in his workroom, so hadn't even seen James' efforts. He grabbed the right ingredient with too much force, and ended up swinging the bookcase too fast, depositing him on the other side with a thump on his backside. He scowled at the magic turning thing and stood back up, brushing himself off and making his way along the dark corridor, until he came to a plain wooden door that he recognised.

He knocked twice, rhythmically, and a loud call of 'C'min' came from inside, James figured that Snape must have thought he was Dumbledore, the only other person to know about his workroom. He pushed open the door to see Snape leaning over a cauldron and stirring it cautiously. The lanky haired boy looked up as James stepped inside and closed the door behind him. The Slytherin scowled.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to keep most of the disdain out of his voice. James gulped, now not entirely sure what his plan of action was. He had to be careful after all, Snape did hold his life in a closing fist.

"Um… I… You're worrying Reggie. He's been looking for you all day." he finally decided to say, Snape rolled his eyes and picked up a book from the floor next to the cauldron.

"And you volunteered to find me? isn't that a little suspicious?" asked the taller. James blushed a little, embarrassed, thinking he was somehow being scolded. He glanced for the book titles. 'Wolfish ways'.

"I guess… have you eaten at all today?" he asked before he could stop himself, Snape's eyes stopped their steady crossing of the page, and slowly, he shook his head. James sighed, "I guess you don't have a kitchen down here." he said to himself. Snape added what looked suspiciously like salt to his potion, and bit his lip.

"Actually, if you knock on the bathroom door three times, turn around in a 360 degree circle, snap twice and mutter something nice about one of your teachers before entering, then it turns into a kitchen." he explained. James gave him a funny look.

"How the hell do you know that?" he asked, Snape shrugged, and James crossed the room to try out this new found knowledge. Snape watched him with an amused smirk.

After knocking lightly three times, James took a small step back, and did a small twirl, snapped twice and said quietly.

"McGonagall looks pretty good for her age" before hearing a very quiet snort of laughter from the cauldron area. He snapped his head in that direction to see Snape watching him, a hand over his mouth and laughter in his eyes. James flushed.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it."

James coughed, ruffling his hair. "There's no kitchen is there?" he asked quietly, more embarrassed then before.

"There is, but there was no need for the ballet move. Or the snapping. Or the compliment to McGonagall..." explained the other boy, James glared at the floor, blushing, and opened the door to the bathroom, now turned kitchen. It was small, but well equipped, and stocked with a bunch of cereals and crackers, bread, cheeses, some ham and cucumber in the fridge, a few bottles of water, some potatoes, mayonnaise and jam. Then some pumpkin juice and a large amount of magical sweets. He didn't know Snape had a sweet tooth… Once James was done exploring he popped his head back into the main area, where Snape was working intently on his potion again. Remembering not to go near an unfinished potion, James decided not to go check it out.

"Looks like a good kitchen." he said to announced his presence. Snape shrugged again.

"The house elves keep is stocked with all the things I like." he explained, not taking his eyes off the potion, somehow more at ease with James just being there then he had been the first time James had entered his workroom.

"Want me to make you something to eat?" asked James, a little timidly, waiting for a bad reaction. He wasn't entirely sure why he was offering, except that he hated it when people didn't eat. Snape sparred him a glance.

"There's no need, you've done your order for today, I don't see why you're here at all." he said, James cocked his head to one side, "Nice skirt by the way - it's Lily's right?" he asked, James glared.

"So what if it is?" he asked, clenching his fists. Like Snape has the right to talk about Lily. Snape flipped the page of his book.

"Did you know Werewolves get ill around the time of the full moon?"

"Yes! Stop asking me stuff about werewolves, I'm not telling you anything about it!" James almost screamed, Snape gave him a piercing look, James huffed. "Look, do you want something to eat or not, I hate it when people don't eat. You don't have to feel like you'll owe me or something."

At this moment Snape's stomach chose it an ideal time to growl hungrily, and so Snape had to relent. James disappeared for almost an hour, and Snape was just about to go in after him when he returned carrying a jacket potato, topped with cheese and with some cucumber on the side. A Muggle meal, but a damned good one. He shoved it into Snape's hands grumpily and then walked away from the potion and sat down on one end of the sofa. Snape sat down on one of the arm chairs and placed the plate on his lap, looking at James with a confused expression. James wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't just left, but now he had sat down he wasn't about to stand back up ad excuse himself, it would just look ridiculous.

"Thank you." spoke the quiet Slytherin. James nodded once. "You didn't get anything for yourself?" he asked, James shook his head robotically, once each way, then back to the middle, facing Snape, he hadn't touched the meal.

"It isn't poisoned."

"I am aware of that." was his response. "I will not give you an order tomorrow."

James gulped, looking down at his feet. He wasn't going to question why, but…

"Will you write down our deal? So in case I loose my memory I know what's going on? I mean… were doing Memory charms in charms soon, and my Charms work is terrible, and I was just hoping that…" he trailed off, trying to figure if he should have used a different word for Charms… that sentence was beginning to grind on his nerves the more times he said it over in his head.

"No." James snapped his head up. "If I wrote it down then you could show anyone without meaning to. I know you're trying to hide this from your marauder friends. So I say 'no' in your interest." James looked down. He couldn't ask again right then, maybe he'd try a different, more subtle approach, later. He nodded.

"Well then, I'll be… um… why do you want to know about werewolves?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him as he spotted the book Snape had been reading resting on the side of the chair. Snape took a forkful of his meal before replying.

"This is… good." he said, James nodded, quite happy with his cooking skills thank you very much. "Werewolves, I need to know more about them to be able to perfect the potion." offered Snape, James felt himself leap to his feat.

"And what's this potion!?" he all but screamed, suddenly worried for his friends safety. Snape gave his a look which clearly told him to 'sit down or get out'.

"Wolf's Bane." he replied, as James deposited himself back down. "Yeah,…" he nodded at his own train of thoughts. "Wolf's Bane works…"

"Wolf's Bane." James repeated, crossing his arms, and not liking the sound of whatever Snape was experimenting with. The lanky haired Slytherin nodded, although it looked as if this conversation had dragged on long enough for his anti-social liking.

"I'm making a new potion." he explained, "The idea is to stop the effects of the transformation. The werewolf would still transform, but they wouldn't be any harm to others or themselves. It should also make the transformation itself less painful." he added the detail, which had James edging closer to the edge of his seat.

"Why?" he asked, after a pause.

"Because there's a war coming Potter, and I don't want Him to be able to use werewolves against us."

Him… James looked at the floor, then around at the Slytherin banners and obvious house colour decoration of Snape's workroom. "I thought for sure…"

"I'd be on the dark side?" supplied Snape, James made no move to agree or disagree. Snape shook his head.

"So… Wolf's Bane will help werewolves?" asked James hesitantly, Snape, after a pause, nodded. James thought of Remus, and the trouble he would have finding a job after school, if there was a potion to make his transformation 'safe', then he wouldn't have half as much trouble. He jumped to his feet again. "I wanna help!" he exclaimed. Snape gave him another look.

"You can't."

And James was crestfallen, "But… I don't need to go near the cauldron to help." he protested. "I'm knowledgeable about werewolves…"

Snape's eyes snapped up. "If you promised to only use that knowledge for the potion… and I can cook you meals when you forget to eat. And send owls to remind you to keep in contact with Reggie…" he trailed off, watching Snape come around to the idea of an extra pair of hands (and James' cooking).

"Why so sudden an interest?" he asked, folding his hands together. James averted his eyes to the ground, so as not to get caught lying.

"I just… I wanna help. It'll give me something to do."

"You've plenty to do. I won't stop giving you orders."

James nodded solemnly.

"I know, I didn't ask… But, I'm not a bad person." Snape snorted, "I know we haven't been that nice to you, but you've got to give me a second chance. I know I can help with this potion! I want to help!" he reasoned. Snape shook his head.

"I don't have to give you a second chance." he replied, "But I will let you help."


	9. Chapter 9

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**Obsessivedevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

**Sorry this wasn't updated this morning, I'm back to my wonderful place of education now, so I'll have to start updating in the evening. That being said, I have exams coming up, and after this I'll actually start having to WRITE the chapter before posting it. (up to this chapter they've been pre-written for about four months), and well, It may take me longer to update now. Sorry.**

**Also, this chapter has been proof read, but only once. Whereas the others were proof read a few times… So yeah, It's not as well picked at as the other ones. Sorry.**

Chapter 9 - Truth Told.

When James got back to the Gryffindor common room, it was way after curfew, and he'd had to take a few detours to avoid filch and the demon cat. He fell through the plump lady's portrait with a goofy smile plastered on his face, still dressed in Lily's borrowed clothing, and happy that he was once again able to help out his friend. He had no idea Snape was working on potions at all, let alone one that could actually help out Remus. His smile faltered when he saw the glare he was receiving from Sirius, sat by the fire. He could tell they were about to get into another fight again.

"…Hey." he said awkwardly, sitting down next to his best friend. Sirius spared him a glance, but other then that brushed him off. James tried again, "Hello Sirius."

"Hello Stranger." was the reply. James sighed. "Where have you been?" questioned the taller boy.

"Down in the Dungeons." answered James honestly, staring at his feet.

"Meeting with your boyfriend?" asked Sirius spitefully. James quickly shook his head, Snape was NOT anything like that.

"I found Snape…" he said instead, leaving out the fact that he knew exactly where he'd be. Sirius tutted. "I told him to stop worrying Reggie." he added, playing with his shoe laces. Sirius kept his gaze trained on the fire.

"You shouldn't worry about Regulus so much." he said. James laughed.

"Bit rich, coming from you."

"I'm his brother… and I didn't run off to find some greasy git just cause the kid was upset." James leant against the chair, also focusing his eyes on the fire. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Sirius clench his hand into a fist. Sirius glanced across at James. "I also didn't dump my mates in potions to have a chat with said greasy git, or turn against the love of my life and then keep my mates from pranking my worst enemy, or keep making up ridiculous plans and not include my friends… I can't believe you're fine with us pranking Lily, but won't let us prank Snivellus! What the hell's gotten into you?"

James stayed silent, Sirius had jumped to his feet in rage, and was about to storm up to their dorm. They were practically alone on the common room, except for a few 1st years trying to prove they could stay up late, and the odd 7th year already studying for the NEWTS. Pete, the early riser, was also an early sleeper. And it was getting close to the full moon, so Remus was getting tired easier, and had already gone to bed as well. James caught Sirius' wrist to stop him from leaving. The taller boy growled under his breath.

"Sorry." James apologised, looking at the spot over his friend shoulder. Sirius sighed, dislodging his wrist from James' hand.

"I don't care anymore. I'm fucking fed up of your apologising. I want to know the truth! I'm tired of being left in the dark!" James shifted his gaze back to the ground, but stood up, trying to stop Sirius' from leaving.

"I can't…" he trailed off, and felt a hand whack him lightly on the arm.

"Whatever the hell you've got yourself into, we can help." Sirius grabbed the handful of the material of James shirt. Better that then hitting him in frustration. "I don't care how much you fucked up. I'm _worried _about you!" he said in a loud voice, attracting a few glances from the 1st years, and a wolf whistle from a cocky 7th year who had witnessed their scene in the hall the other day. Sirius gave that person the finger. James glanced over at whoever it was, then placed his hands over the fist Sirius had around his shirt, loosening the hold slightly. He nodded.

"Snape…" he swallowed, and he could feel Sirius' grip tightening again at the mention of the Slytherin's name. "He… saved my life."

Sirius let go of James' shirt.

"He… what?" James just nodded, and Sirius dragged him up the stairs to their dorm, after the 7th year made another comment on their closeness. Sirius pushed James down onto his bed, and then went about making a few loud noises to wake up the other Marauders. Remus sat up, bleary eyed and grouchy, Pete clicked a few joints, then gave his whole attention to whatever Sirius and James had done this time. Sirius, after making sure that Remus wasn't about to fall asleep again, flopped down on his own bed, and turned his eyes to James.

"Explain." he ordered. James nodded, looking at the folds in his sheets.

"Over the summer I got ill… Anyone heard of Tractamosa?" Remus gave a small gasp, which James took as a yes. He gave a small, dead chuckle.

"It's terminal…" explained Remus, noticing the other boys confused expressions. "If left alone… It's not pretty…"

"Well, mine was treated, I was given this potion, which makes it go away for a week. Then I have to take another one once the weeks up." the Marauders nodded gravely. "The annoying thing is that, there's only one person alive who actually knows how to brew it…" he sighed.

"Snivellus." Sirius supplied, and James nodded. "So… what happened? Why all the secrecy?" he asked, James blushed, now fiddling with his sheet folds.

"I guess… Me and him -"

"He and I."

"Fuck Remus, he's telling us he's terminally Ill and you're correcting his grammar?"

James chuckled.

"Sorry…"

"It's fine!" James smiled at his werewolf friend. Remus gave half of one back. He was worried. "Snape and I struck up a deal… He'll make the potion for me, and I have to do one 'order' a day from him… like today's was to cross dress."

Sirius went faintly green.

"What a pervert…"

James blushed.

"It's for the public humiliation." he assured hurriedly. "Cause we picked on him so much… he wants to get back at me. It's perfect. For him anyway…"

"So what happens if you don't 'obey'?" asked Pete. James sighed again, he seemed to be doing a lot of that.

"He won't make the potion."

"But then, wont you…?" Remus trailed off, turning deathly pale. "That bastard's messing with your _life!_" he shouted, trailing off into an inhuman growl. James flinched.

"Well yes…" he agreed. "Please don't remind me."

Remus gave him a pitying look. Sirius just glared at the wall, and Pete decided to speak up.

"Where do you draw the line?" he asked. Everyone knew what he was on about, but no one would have voiced it. James flinched again.

"I don't really like to think about it." he replied, "Look, lets just forget it, okay? I make a fool out of myself anyway, so there'll practically be no difference."

"We're not just going to forget about it Prongs!" shouted Sirius. James got more comfortable on his bed, laying down, and dragged the covers over himself. Sirius changed into a dog and pounced on him, making the smaller boy squeak. Sirius changed back.

"This is serious Prongsie." he said, sitting on his friends stomach and looking down at him with suspiciously glistening eyes. James leant up, wrapped his arms around the boys neck, and pulled him into an awkward hug.

"I know… but there's nothing anyone can do, except Snape." he whispered into Sirius' ear. "I didn't wanna tell you, I want to be able to just chill when I'm with my friends." he whined childishly. Sirius nodded against the crook of James' neck. Wrapping his arms securely round James' waist.

"You better not die Prongsie." he said, before straightening up, a small blush gracing his cheeks and he quickly wiped his eyes. He scurried over to his bed in dog form, and Remus and Pete decided it best to just pretend to have gone temporarily blind and death for that moment. The Marauders respectively snuggled into their own beds.

"I'm glad you told us." said Remus.

"I'm glad you know." said James, looking at Sirius. Hoping now they wouldn't get into so many fights.

"I'm glad Lily isn't on a rampage to get her clothes back." said Sirius. And James remembered he still hadn't changed. he blushed, but soon fell asleep, still in the clothes Lily had given him, he'd clean them before giving them back.

-

The next day James woke in a cheery mood, way before everyone else, and just looked around at his marauder buddies, smiling serenely. He was glad they now knew, and the fact that they did also meant that Snape had no other excuse not to write down their deal. He quickly changed from lily's clothes to those of his own, and used a cleaning spell on the borrowed items. The best thing about today, if Snape kept to his word, was that he was order free!

"You're up early Prongs." said Pete, stretching out his joints and grinning at the Quidditch player. James smiled back, a cheeky grin falling into place.

"Ye~ah…" it came out as a whisper, and he ended up yawning in-between it, so he coughed and tried again. "Yes! I think today's gunna be great."

"Good to know you're in such good spirits!" replied Pete, changing into his school uniform. The boy made his way down the staircase into the Gryffindor common room and James heard him say a cheery hello to a few passers by. Monday, Monday, Monday… he thought, a grin slipping easily onto his face. He collected Lily's outfit and followed his friend downstairs, grinning at everyone he passed. Perhaps he'd be able to help out more with that potion today, he thought, thinking of the sleeping werewolf upstairs who was suffering because of the full moons proximity. When he arrived in the Gryffindor common room Pete was talking animatedly to a few girls from a couple of years bellow. Pete's boyish good looks made him attractive, but rarely to girls his own age.

A hand grabbed his shoulder from behind, he jolted - shouting curses - and turned to face his attacker, glare ready.

"Sorry if I scared you…" trailed off a small second year. James, who could hear Pete and his girls cracking up behind him, shook his head slightly.

"It's fine I guess." he said, fighting the urge to hold a hand to his chest dramatically and shout at the kid for almost giving him a heart attack.

"You got an owl."

James groaned, whenever he got an owl recently it was from Snape, the bastard has _promised _he wouldn't send an order. He grudgingly snatched the letter from the scared second year, who scurried away. He suppressed the angry growl which was trying to make itself known.

_ Dear James_

It wasn't from Snape then, that was a relief.

_Would you please meet me outside our DADA classroom at lunchtime today? I__'__ll be waiting._

_ Lucy._

James searched back through his mind for someone called Lucy who he shared Defence Against the Dark Arts with. His mind drew blank. He was fairly certain this was just going to be another blind love confession (he got them often enough), but he was nice enough to always show up and let them down nicely, or if they were cute, take them out on a date or two, before dumping them. Lily was the only one for him after all! He grinned. He hoped this Lucy was cute, it would just make this day that much better.


	10. Chapter 10

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this**

**Erm, with Lucy… She probably won't turn up after this. I don't really like OC's, so I don't keep them around for long. If I can avoid it I won't use them. But I don't really know many people in the marauder era who are actually in the books. I think Lucius and Bellatrix and Narcissa will make appearances, MUCH bigger appearances then this 'Lucy' girl.**

Chapter 10 - Oh the DRAMA!

James lent casually against the wall outside their Defence Against the Dark Art's classroom, trying to get that 'sexy but not trying' look that Sirius always seemed to achieve. Not that he thought Sirius looked sexy, it was just that the girls told him often enough. Girls have an annoying habit of telling their crushes best friend that they like their crush, and leave it up to the best friend to do something about it. James' way of dealing with those awkward moments? -

'He's gay'. Insert girl crying. 'Hey, I was only joking, he'd love to go out with you'. Insert happy smile. 'JAMES! WHAT THE HELL? SHE'S A FIRST YEAR!' insert James running away from enraged Sirius.

In any case, he wasn't entirely sure he was getting this sexy look right, but it seemed to be going okay if the looks from passing girls was anything to go by. None of them looked like a possible Lucy though. He sighed, turning to check his watch. He's give her ten minutes, since in fairness the castle is huge and she may be coming from anywhere, then he was leaving.

"James?" A pig-tailed blonde asked, coming out of the classroom across from him. She had pink bows in her hair, a short skirt and she'd cut her robes so it was more of a jacket. Her tie was loose. She looked like a common prostitute. James cringed inwardly. He also didn't recognise her. Had they ever actually met? Or was she a stalker?

"Lucy?" he timidly asked: Lucy nodded. James gave a shaky laugh. Cue the awkward conversation, he thought, when Lucy pulled on his hand and dragged him into the DADA classroom. His eyes widened, but he followed her happily.

"James." she stated, turning round with hands on hips. James grinned. Lucy didn't. "I know you've been hanging around Severus lately and I'm here to tell you to stop it!"

James rose an eyebrow at her. The Slytherin tie, sleeves rolled down despite the fact she seemed to be trying to show as much skin as possible.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." he replied steadily. Lucy huffed indignantly.

"Look, I don't like you, you don't like me. But Severus is a freak! Nobody likes him! It's in your best interest to stay away!" she reasoned. James turned the thoughts over in his head. He didn't like Snape, but he didn't trust Lucy more then he didn't trust Snape. And that was saying something.

"What are you trying to pull?" he asked, sitting down on the desk.

"Nothing." Replied his companion. "But you're the most popular guy in school, even if you don't deserve the status. And Snape isn't… he's not one of us. If you keep hanging out with him the fames gunna go to his head!" James sighed again. He was fairly certain Lucy was the only person who noticed he had any more connection to Snape then he had done in previous years.

"And by 'one of us' you mean…?" he trailed off, glancing at her wrist. He was fairly certain he could guess what she meant. She snarled at him.

"Just heed my warning Potter." she said, threateningly. "Both you and Severus, And all you're little Gryffindork buddies! One day you'll regret not going to His side. And you can tell Severus that he can't class himself as a Slytherin anymore! If he shows his face in our common room he'll regret it!" She finished, stalking out of the room in a huff. James felt anger blaze in him, though he wasn't entirely sure why. He rushed out the classroom after her.

"You're threats are out dated Bitch! He doesn't need you're stupid common room anyway!" he shouted. Lucy turned, snarling.

"That's right, he can always bed with you right? You're disgusting you faggot!" she screamed, lashing her body away again and storming off down the hallway. James blushed at her back. He'd _meant _the Snape could always bunk in his workroom. He had forgotten she wouldn't have a clue he even had a workroom. He childishly stuck his tongue out at her back, turning to leave. What did he care if Snape was chucked out by his own house anyway? Even if it was kind of sad that he was being isolated for being good… Not going to His side… he shook his head determinedly, turning the corner and bumping into Pete.

"Jamie!" he exclaimed, grinning. "Here, come on! Remy's got a plan!" He added, dragging the boy off down the corridor. James grinned, letting the thoughts of Snape slip from his mind. If Remus had a plan, that meant a lot of fun for the Marauders.

- X -

"Alright." said Remus, with the air of telling a ghost story, later on in the evening once they'd gone to their afternoon classes and were chilling out before dinner. The four boys were sat in a circle on the floor of their dorm room, hunched over a piece of paper that Remus was pointing to ominously. "She should be walking around here, so that's the best place to put it." he said, under his breath, despite the fact they were the only people in the room. Sirius nodded understandingly.

"But where will be get that… super… glue… stuff?" he asked, crawling over to Remus to get a better look at the place he was pointing to on the Marauders map. Remus reached over to his trunk beside his bed and pulled out the 'superglue'. he winked.

"It's all good!"

"Okay." said James, studying the map as well, "But where are we gunna get a cow?"

"Way ahead of you." replied Pete, "There's a farm over in Hogsmead. We'll use the passage under the old witch, and bring it back the night before." Remus nodded.

"The cow can stay in the passage over night, and then it's just a case of leading it up a couple of staircases without anyone noticing. But we have the invisibility cloak for that right?" Said the Werewolf. "Besides, we've got plenty of time to prepare. The exam isn't until a month or so away, which gives Pete and I time to make the Poly-juice potion."

James cringed lightly, starting to have second thoughts. If all went to plan, this could seriously screw up Lily's education. She'd HATE him. Still, he figured, glancing around at his friends, it was the most monumental prank Remus had thought up for quite awhile, and he was simply glad he had his friends back and wasn't sparking with them anymore. He grinned around at them as a young boy came crashing through their dormitory door.

"Sirius! Please, you have to help!" gasped Regulus, panting. His robes were ripped and he had a long gash along the side of his face; that made all four marauders stand up protectively, ready to fight for the younger Black.

"Who did this?" asked Sirius, seething. Regulus caught his breath back, and glanced quickly at James.

"I know you don't like him…" he said, trailing off, and James quirked an eyebrow. "They got him when he came back after classes… Lucius, Bella, Cissi, Lucy…" James had a sudden flashback to that lunch time and launched himself across the room, pausing slightly to clap Regulus on the shoulder.

"Which way?"

"Down by the dungeons. He was heading for his potions classroom…"

James nodded, signalling for Sirius to comfort Regulus and for Remus and Pete to follow him. They all did as told without hesitation. Sirius pulled Regulus more into his line of vision, checking over the gash on his cheek. Remus and Peter followed James all the way down to the dungeons.

"Here." said James, stopping. "Go find Lucius, Bella and Narcissa. Give them a piece of your mind for hurting Reggie. If you see a girl in Blonde pigtails, give her a piece of my mind too…" he trailed off, pointing them in the direction of where he knew the Slytherin common room was, and heading into the classroom on his own. He found Snape just inside the store cupboard, wounded and panting heavily. James crouched down beside him, and placed a hand shyly on his shoulder. Snape groaned.

"What are you… doing here… Potter?" he panted. James shook his head slowly, trying to quench his anger at the people who had harmed Snape. The only people who got the harm Snape were he and the Marauders dammit!

"Be quiet." he said, quietly and deliberately pulling Snape up and trying to balance the extra weight while pulling on the powered unicorn horn. He lost balance on the other side and the two fell to the floor, exciting a groan of pain from Snape. "Sorry." He said, dragging the other back up and beginning to make slow progress down the dark hallway, suddenly very glad no one new of this place. He opened the door with his foot, using some form of funky ballet move he didn't know he knew how to manage, and dragged Snape inside, depositing him on one of the sofas. He gave a great sigh and turned to take a look at their surroundings. Then back at the injured Snape.

"Why are you here?" asked the Slytherin again. James felt a small blush taint his cheeks, though he wasn't sure why he was suddenly feeling so hot. Snape looked much older and wiser, laying injured on the sofa. No one knew they were down here… he snapped out of his thoughts when Snape spoke again. "Why are you constantly looking after me?"

"No reason… Reggie came to us. Looked like crazy, worried over you, ya know?" he babbled, "Remy and Pete should be beating up the bitches who did this to you."

"Great." said Snape sarcastically, turning over gingerly. "All I need, another reason for them to hate me… There's a medical box by the bedding."

James turned away in search of the promised medical box. Anger flowed through him. He was _trying_ to be nice! He placed his hands on his hips while he scanned the area for the box.

"You're house hate you anyway don't they? Just bunk down here for the rest of your time here… it's more private anyway…" he mumbled, distracted as he moved the bedding around looking for it. Once he finally found it, he picked it up with a small, victorious 'yes!'. He turned with the box in hand, walking back over to Snape and kneeling down beside him. Snape reached out for the box, but James slapped his hand away gently, placing the box next to him on the floor and carefully manoeuvring Snape's body so he could see the wounds easier. His clothes were ripped all over, and there was a large amount of bruising to his stomach and arms. It seemed like they'd been avoiding his face. Perhaps the gash on Reggie's face has been an accident when the kid jumped in. Or something like that.

"What would happen to Regulus?" he heard Snape ask quietly, while James wiped the flesh wounds with anti-septic wipes, and plastered them up. James could imagine that it hurt like a bitch, but Snape was incredibly calm and quiet. What would happen to Regulus is Snape stayed down here? James pouted.

"He'll be fine. No one messes with Reggie and gets away with it, remember? Sirius would beat their asses if they tried anything." He assessed, keeping his eyes trained on his work. He felt Snape tense under his hands. He guessed this was kind of personal. Snape probably wasn't used to being looked after. "You, on the other hand, have no one who cares about you. Other then Reggie, who lets admit, couldn't hurt a fucking fly. So I won't allow you to walk back into the Slytherin area!" he exclaimed, tying a bandage round a particularly nasty looking gash on the Slytherins arm. He looked up in time to see Snape rolled his eyes.

"And how will I get my personal belongings?" he asked, carefully sitting up, and wincing slightly in pain. James gave him a pitying look.

"Me and Siri will go get them." he said, "We're good at… sneaking around." he let a small grin slip onto his features. Snape snarled.

"Not a chance in hell Potter!" he spat, snapping his head to look away. James had a brief moment of looking uneasy, before he smiled again.

"Alright, Me and Remus will go…" Snape shook his head. "C'mon. Remy's never done anything to hurt you, if we ever bullied you it was me and Siri, Remus didn't want a thing to do with it. He didn't think you 'deserved' it."

"I didn't."

"… Yeah, sorry about that." James gave a shaky smile. "And hey, my life's on the line right? Like I'd take the chance to mess around. You have my word. I just wanna help out."

"Like with the potion?" Snape asked sceptically. James nodded. Snape snarled.

"What the hell Potter?… You crazy bastard" James grinned.

"Well… It's for Reggie mainly… he'd be worried." James laughed. "Plus I wanna prove the bitch wrong." he added under his breath, thinking about Lucy.

"What bitch?"

James shook his head.

"Stay here… I'll go find Remy and Pete, we'll get your possessions and I'll bring them down tonight. If I see that you've moved one inch I'll have your head!"

"… empty threats Potter?"

"… No… It's a warning!" he laughed slightly at Snape's baffled face, before leaving the room.


	11. Chapter 11

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**MyChemicalRomance0666 helped me SO much with this chapter, when I was about to throw it out the window or burn it or something, she stopped me. I've slaved over this, even though it feels like a filler, it's REALLY important at some points to try and guess some plot points further on! So don't just skip it or something. I was having a lot of trouble making it flow, even though I had all the ideas… but yeah. I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 11 - When Remus and Sirius Get Married.

James padded into the Slytherins workroom quietly; a small amount of clothing slung over his arm, and a bag of other possessions on his back. He let his eyes settle on Snape, who was sleeping soundly on the sofa, knees bent in, one arm swung lazily over his stomach, and the other brought up close to his face; hand making a fist. James couldn't help the small, serene smile that graced his features at the sight. Snape looked peaceful and sweet while asleep; without that horrible scowl on his face, he was actually relatively attractive. He blushed and violently shook that thought away; no way. He placed the possessions on a different chair and stretched; sighing and looking around the room again.

"You're lucky you've got this place you crazy bastard…" he whispered, glancing down at the Slytherin's asleep form. As if hearing James statement, the boy turned his head slightly and took a strong intake of breath, making a high pitched whistling sound. James snorted in amusement. "Yeah, definitely a crazy bastard… what did you do to get them to beat you up so bad anyway?" he asked the dreamer, sitting down on the floor beside the sofa. He looked lazily over Snape's sleeping form. He was covered in bruises and at some points he would move or _breathe_ in the wrong way, and his face would contort in pain, yet he'd never looked so at peace and well… beautiful. James sighed. What on Earth was going on? He was supposed to hate Snape, so why was he suddenly finding points about the greasy haired, hooked nosed bastard that made him seem… easy to look at, would be the words James would choose. He rested his head on the edge of the sofa, pulling off his glasses and closing his eyes; trying to rid them of the blurriness that often comes with sleepiness. At ten past midnight, it wasn't surprising that he was feeling a little tired. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.

- X -

"Prongs!" Came the shout before James was whacked round the side of the head with a fair amount of force. The boy stumbled back slightly and glared at his companion.

"What the fuck Sirius?" he asked, rubbing the spot where he had been attacked. Sirius gave a cheery, lopsided grin, that showed his canine teeth.

"Where were _you _last night?" he asked, nudging James ribs. After 'the incident' as James had dubbed it, he and Remus had snuck into the Slytherin Common Room to get Snape's stuff (It was surprising what little amount you could live on for a whole year), and Remus had gone back up to Gryffindor Tower. Regulus had gone back to Slytherin (under the protection of Sirius, who threatened anybody who got within ten feet of him), and James had fallen asleep in Snape's place. Apparently, Sirius was under the impression James had stayed the night somewhere else.

"I don't kiss and tell." he replied, turning his back on them and scrunching up his nose at the images that simple sentence had conjured. He'd lead Padfoot on, but not at the price of his own sanity.

"House?"

"Not saying…" he sing-sang, poking his tongue out and leading their group in the direction of the Great Hall. He could smell breakfast, and he was hungry! Sirius gave his best 'pout that isn't a pout because men don't pout pout'.

"Gender?" he asked. James glared at him, while sitting down at the Gryffindor table with a great amount of over-dramatised fluster and attacking the food cooked and laid out to them by what would later be called unfortunate, underpaid slaves by Hermione Granger some time when their children begin attending Hogwarts. Of course, They didn't even know of the planning or dream of a little Hermione Granger by her parents at that time; nor did they know her parents at all for that matter. They didn't even know a Granger… well, there was a Hufflepuff by that name, but it was of no relation to the futuristic witch I am currently talking about. But I Digress.

"So anyway, have you put any more thought it to what… um… substance we're going to use for Operation Geek Takedown?" he asked, trying to change the subject. Remus spared him a un-amused glance.

"I don't appreciated you dubbing it so, us geeks don't need to be taken down!"

"It was your idea to get her…" James mumbled, stuffing porridge in his already fairly full mouth. Remus rolled his eyes skyward.

"Don't worry Love, one day you geeks will take over the world." supplied Sirius, patting him on the back.

"And one day you're infuriating pet names will catch on." replied James sarcastically.

"Of course, when Sirius and I marry and I'm ruling over you non-geeks with my iron fist, and Sirius is my darling wife, his pet names will be all the rage. If someone dislikes them, I shall make them read Shakespeare aloud for three days!"

James snorted. Sirius flung his arms over his wolf-like friend.

"Oh Remus-baby! Honeybunch cupcake!" he squealed, (in a totally manly way), "You're such a manly overlord! So full of testosterone and butch ruggedness!" he continued, snuggling into Remus neck in just the right place to make the taller boy burst into a fit of girlish giggles. Yes; Remus was insanely ticklish. James watched with an amused smirk at his friends antics as Peter slipped down into the chair next to him, giving Remus and Sirius a funny look.

"Well then, you two are sleeping in the room of requirement tonight." he commented, reaching for a roll of bread and catching the mandatory apple James chucked at him. It was routine. Reach for bread, catch apple. The joys of James' healthy eating regime. And the organiser was stuffing his face with porridge and full butter scones, while Sirius was apparently stuffing his face with cupcake. Why were they dieting like a bunch of girls again? Because James is a heath freak when it comes to his friends. 'Eat up, and eat healthy!': he was like their mother! Pete glanced at his friend, who was staring dreamily at the spread of the table with an odd look in his eye. Pete was going to call out, under the impression that James might not be completely alright, but was distracted by more of Sirius and Remus shameless Joke-Flirting.

James? Well, James was thinking about Snape. Which he realised was starting to become a rather annoying little habit of his. Why was it he was all of a sudden starting to change his mind about the Slytherin? He was more sadistic then ever, knowing James' life was on the line, and he hadn't changed physically, as far as James could tell. Was it just that Snape had seemed vulnerable last night? He couldn't remember a time at all when Snape had seemed vulnerable. Not in any of the times the Marauders had picked on him. He'd usually given as good as he got. Considering the situation, with James having to depend so heavily on Snape, perhaps seeing Snape in a position of defencelessness had relieved James. And his mind had warped that relief into some sort of _feelings_ for the greasy git.

He blushed at the fruit bowl. He wouldn't exactly call them _feelings_. More like… random bouts of affection… Okay, he wasn't actually sure which of those two options was worse.

"Prongsie?" James looked up into the grey eyes of a concerned werewolf. He gave a short lived grin.

"Yes? Oh Geeky Overlord?" he asked, which earned him a quick smack round the side of the head from Remus and a particularly cheeky grin from Sirius.

"I was checking if you were okay. You were staring off into space like a walnut."

…

"Walnut?" asked Peter, giving his friend a 'I can't believe you just said that' look. Remus ducked his head in embarrassment as Sirius gave a hearty laugh and James was just happy the attention had left him. The sandy haired teenager mumbled something against his neck, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair in a nervous way.

"What was that Moony?" asked Sirius in that way that screams 'I know what you said, but I'm going to make you tell everyone else because I'm evil.' and it was true. Sirius was evil.

"I got my sentences mixed…" Remus said, blushing. "It happens."

James grinned at Sirius' devilish expression.

"Yes dear, but _why _did you get your sentences mixed, and say 'walnut' of all things?"

Remus glared at him.

"You bloody well know why!" The Marauders just gave him identical innocent looks. "FINE!" screamed the boy under scrutiny. "I'm craving them like crazy! Okay?" he all but shouted, blushing furiously at the teasing smirks his friends were adopting.

It was common knowledge to the Marauders that the closer it came to the full moon, the more tired their friend would get, the more mood-swingy he would become, and he would start craving crazy things. For example, walnuts. It amused the marauders to no end, because when Remus wasn't acting like a girl suffering from PMS, he was acting like a crazy pregnant lady without the large belly. It didn't help that Remus had a strange obsession with Chocolate: something girls were known for loving, especially when it came to their own 'monthlies'. Remus, understandably, hated the similarities, and got embarrassed whenever his friends picked up on it.

"It's okay sweetie. Once it's all over we'll sneak up to the hospital wing with some chocolate!" said Sirius, grinning like a loon at his friend. Remus grumbled obscenities, looking away awkwardly. Probably annoyed because he was about to shout and turn down chocolate. Which Remus Lupin just _doesn't do._ "I'm sure Poppy wont mind, as long as we bring some for her." carried on Sirius, which earned him a silencing glare from the taller boy next to him.

"_Madam Pomfrey _will dislike you coming to visit me no matter how many sweets you bring to calm her. She hates the racket you cause."

"I DON'T CAUSE A RACKET!" Sirius screamed dramatically, actually standing up, with the impression he was about to throw a large, full on, magical temper tantrum. The son of black glared meaningfully down at his companions, took a deep breath, sighed dramatically, then sat back down. Remus rolled his eyes.

"You don't call charming the medicine bottles to sing ridiculously cheesy Muggle love songs whenever she came to check up on me a racket?"

"No." was his short reply. Then; "It was sweet, I know she was smiling a little bit. She's too young to be so uptight. In 20 years time, sure why not, be a bitch, but now - she's fucking _hot_, how can she be so… well…"

"_Professional_? Are you expecting her to do some sort of kinky nurse thing with you?" Sirius went off in to dream land at the image. Remus realised what he had initiated and sighed. "So… You okay Pete?"

Peter, who had been looking over at the grand doors leading to the great hall, where Lucius and Bellatrix were striding in, snapped his head back to the conversation and nodded sharply.

"Of course. Hey, posts here!" he added, as owls swarmed the breakfast area. James groaned as two owls landed in front of him. He Decided to open the letter from the owl he recognised as his parents first. It reminded him that OWLS were this year, so he was right to be spending all his time studying - he broke away from reading to laugh - but they did want him to write every so often. He put it aside and promised he'd write later.

The second owl was a school owl, and it was pecking at his breakfast. He shooed it away and ripped open the letter it was delivering.

_Potter,_

_ Go to the store cupboard in the potions lab and fetch a Kilogram of crushed beetles eyes. I'll need it by Seven tonight. Also, I won't be in class today._

James counted his lucky stars it was something so simple, and chose not to question why Snape needed the potions ingredient. Although, at the thought that it might have something to do with Wolf's Bane, his heart skipped a beat, and he realised he was having another random bout of affection for the Slytherin. He grinned at his friends, showing them the letter.

"Alright, you can go at 6 or something. Take the invisibility cloak." said Sirius once he'd read over the letter. "Surprisingly civil isn't it?" he added, flapping it about. James laughed.

"Yeah, he makes me do his dirty work and embarrasses me daily, but he's really nice about it."

Sirius gave a snort of laughter, regarding James with soft eyes.

"Well, makes sense he'd want to take the day off classes, but why tell you?" asked Remus, having taken the note of Sirius and read it over. James shrugged. He hadn't really thought about it. Snape was beaten up, he was pulling a sickie.

"Maybe he wants me to make up some excuse for him. I could always say I beat the crap out of him for being a grease ball." replied James. Sirius mumbled his agreement. "But then again, I can't be assed with the detention for 'threatening the health of another student merely for matters of opinion'" he added, mimicking the voice of their head of house, but with a high-pitched quality to it. Peter laughed, having dragged himself back into the conversation and stopped gazing down the hall to the Slytherin table.

"That's not a matter of opinion James, Snape _is _a grease ball; fact!"

James nodded his agreement, although secretly he wasn't completely convinced anymore.

**Even though I proof checked, I get the feeling I missed a whole load of mistakes… oh well, it's late where I am. So, If you have an idea for an 'order' you think might embarrass James and you want to see written down in this Fic, then leave it in a review, and I'll see if I can work it into this story!**

**Please leave reviews! It makes me update faster! ~Od23**


	12. Chapter 12

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**My Brother helped me with this chapter, lots of credit goes to him. But the actual prank idea was mine, TP (pen name) wanted me to kill Lily with a floating cow… tehe**

Chapter 12 - OPERATION GEEK TAKEDOWN

It had been two months since Snape had given his last order, and the only reason James knew he was even alive was that he visited him each week to get the Potion. Other then that, the Slytherin rarely went to classes and didn't contact James at all; not even to give him embarrassing orders. James, although he'd never admit it aloud, was starting to get worried. Although, he wasn't too upset, considering today was the day the Marauders were going to commence 'Operation Lily Raping'… James shook his head to clear his naughty thoughts, he meant 'Operation Geek Takedown'.

James smiled down at the coin placed directly outside the Great Hall. This 'superglue' stuff really worked! Remus was, when it all came down to it, rather a genius. He was rather happy with that fact.

Lily was walking up to the entrance with her friend Alice, engrossed in conversation. The night before, Remus had talked to her for three hours straight about the qualities of coins; despite the fact it had taken him many hours to even _think_ of the qualities of coins. He came up with 'they're shiny', and 'you can buy things with them', which he just repeated; A LOT. By the end of it James was getting kind of hypnotised as well. Sirius was laughing in the corner, casting charms at random intervals to make her actually believe him. James didn't put it past the other boy to have aimed a few of those charms at him too. That coin looked _really _shiny. He shook his head to stop looking at the Sickle and stuck his finger in his ear.

"Glasses to Shaggy, she's in position! Draw attention to the coin." He said under his breath. He heard Sirius' voice answer back in his ear.

"Shaggy? SHAGGY? James I'm gunna kill you!"

"What? It works… Over and out!"

"What the fuck is _Over and out_?"

"…" James blushed, glad Sirius couldn't see him. "I saw it in a Muggle movie… Just draw attention to the bloody coin before she walks right past it!"

He saw Sirius bolt out from behind one of the many statues Hogwarts had dotted around, and slink up to Lily. Lily stopped, giving Sirius an untrusting glare. Sirius said something, which made the red head look down and stare directly at the coin the Marauders had glued to the floor. She bent down in a womanly way, bending her knees so she wasn't showing anything indecent. Sirius gave the general area a thumbs up, which he hoped James would catch from his hiding position.

James stuck his finger in his ear again. "Glasses to Pup." he whispered. Remus replied.

"Shouldn't Sirius be Pup?"

"Dammit! Why doesn't anyone like my code names?"

"Because they make no sense! Siri should be Pup, and _I_ should be Shaggy!"

"… Just shut up and do your job." James sighed, "Target is distracted, implement phase two."

"You're such a geek."

- X -

Remus was stood outside the Humped Back Old Witch Statue, keeping watch as Peter was trying to convince the cow to get outside the Statue. He had the invisibility cloak ready to throw over the animal when it eventually agreed to Pete's whims. He'd be in there himself, trying to encourage the stubborn beast; but animals had a bit of a vendetta against him because of the whole Werewolf thing. Peter emerged, leading a black and white female cow behind him. Remus flung the cloak over it and coughed noisily to hide the loud moo to passers by.

They lead the invisible cow up two or three staircases, and stopped at the 5th floor. Peter stuck his finger in his ear.

"The cow is in position."

"Nibbles?"

"…"

"NIBBLES?"

"…"

"ARE YOU OKAY? NIBBLES?"

"What the fuck James?"

"You weren't answering…"

"I was merely dumbstruck by your absolute stupidity. Really? Nibbles?"

James pouted, then stuck his tongue out childishly, even though Pete couldn't see him. He pulled his finger out of his ear, then stuck it back in.

"Glasses to Shaggy."

"_Yes James_?" replied Sirius, laughter evident as he watched Lily struggle to pick up the coin. "Almost there Lily…"

"You can un-stick the coin now. The cow is in position, Pup's on his way."

"Oh god, these code names are getting worse."

"YOU LEAVE MY CODE NAMES ALONE!" James shouted, and Sirius didn't need their ear connection to hear him. 'Shaggy' pulled a flask of un-sticky potion from his robes and poured a small amount over the coin to melt the glue. Lily gave a gasp of surprise as the coin un-stuck, and then gave a cry of despair as it melted in her hand. Sirius tried to hold in his laughter (unsuccessfully), and waved his wand to undo Lily's hypnotism. She seemed to break out of a trance… well, she did. Then, she glared heartily at Sirius, who was shaking in silent laughter.

Lily was about to give a very violent description to Sirius as to exactly where he could shove his coin, when Remus rounded the corner, gasping for breath.

"Lily!" he exclaimed, and gave Sirius a glare. "These idiots have left a _cow _on the fifth floor! As prefects, we have to sort this out."

Lily stopped glaring at Sirius to stare incredulously at Remus.

"Right… erm… Yes, we should… Wait… A COW?!"

She followed the sandy haired boy upstairs, and stopped short when her sight fell on a large, black and white cow. It's tail was flicking in a way that suggesting it did not really enjoy being on the fifth floor of a magical school.

"Well, we could always levitate it… but it's rather heavy looking."

The cow gave an insulted moo.

"Yeah." agreed Remus in a non-committal way. Lily looked thoughtfully at the animal.

"Well, I'm sure we'll think of something. Damn idiots… why a _cow_?"

Remus heard James' voice in his ear, and coughed to hide the small static that came with this particular spell.

"Pup!" screamed James' voice, "We should call the cow Daisy!"

Remus face-palmed. "Daisy!?"

Lily turned to him, a confused expression written across her features. Remus gave a shaky laugh, waved her off, then turned his head, as if that would make talking into his ear easier.

"Piss off James, this is a delicate operation!"

- X -

James, Sirius and Pete snuck into the prefect bathroom Lily was prone to using. Each prefect had their own shower stall, which was labelled with their name. So it wasn't too hard to find Lily's. Pete took out his wand and cast a spell at the showerhead.

- X -

Remus was doing a fantabulous job of distracting Lily, James noted as he popped his head round the end of the corridor. Sirius stuck his head as well, grinning like a loon. The son of Black stuffed his finger in his ear.

"Sirius speaking. We're done."

"I think you mean Shaggy to Pup." interjected James. Sirius gave him a look which clearly said 'shut up'.

"Got it… So Lily, since we're obviously not getting anywhere with this little problem…"

"It's a rather large problem Remus…"

The cow mooed.

"Stop insulting Daisy!" - This was James. Luckily, Lily and Remus couldn't hear him, and Sirius clamped a hand over the boys mouth before he could go into ranting mode, defending his cow.

Remus distracted Lily with a beautiful display of… distracting things, and Sirius and Peter darted forwards, leading Daisy away with the use of their newly found animal pheromones. Daisy followed happily. Perhaps thinking that the boys would lead her away from his strange magical castle she had been imprisoned in. She'd completely forgotten it was Peter who had imprisoned her there in the first place.

"That's great Remus but we still need to get rid of this cow." Lily said, turning and laying her eyes on Daisy the cow. Except, Daisy was no longer Daisy, but something James had quickly transfigured to look like Daisy. Lily aimed her wand at the fake cow. Remus braced himself for what was to come. Lily muttered a spell.

Daisy blew up.

Lily and Remus found themselves covered in what could only be described as sticky green goo. Lily screamed.

"Remus Lupin! WHAT ON EARTH ARE WE COVERED IN?"

"…" Remus grinned, wiping goo from his eyes. "I would call it sludge."

Lily glared heatedly, stomping off towards the prefect bathroom. Remus congratulated himself on a job well done. He pointed his wand at himself.

"Scourgify."

James, Sirius and Peter ran towards him, identical grins on their Marauder faces.

"This is going to be epic… So Sirius has some drinking to do!" James sing-sang, nudging his friend. Sirius adopted a disgusted expression, thinking of having to down the potion. But then again, if Remus got himself covered in sludge, he didn't really mind as much, since all he had to do was quickly drink a potion.

"Yeah yeah…" he sighed, trudging off towards the dungeons, where Pete and Remus had been making a Polyjuice Potion over the last month.

"You got her hair earlier right?" Remus asked, Sirius nodded.

"I yanked it out when Lily was battling with the Sickle."

Remus grimaced.

"What did she say?"

"She asked what I'd be using it for. I said I'd sell it on eBay."

"What the fuck's eBay?"

"…" Sirius shrugged, walking off.

- X -

Lily walked out of her second shower, fuming and storming around. She'd taken one shower in her prefect shower stall, only to find herself dirtier once she left than when she went in. Which was a pretty mean feat considering how much she'd been covered in sludge. She pouted as Alice came up to her, smiling innocently.

"Hey Alice…" she sighed. Alice's smile grew, sliding up to her.

"Hey Lily." she replied.

"You got a cold Alice?" asked Lily.

"… Yeah." Alice replied, coughing for effect. Lily gave a sympathetic pat to the shoulder, not really in the mood for comforting other people when she'd had such a crap day, thanks to a bunch of Gryffindor trouble makers. Alice smiled in an 'it's okay' way. "Here." she said, handing over a neatly wrapped sweet.

"What's this?" the redhead asked, studying the gift. Alice coughed again.

"It's a sweet, you've had such a bad day, I thought you'd need this before you go into that exam. It'll get your sugars back up." She replied. Lily smiled thankfully at her friend, popping the sweetie into her mouth and sucking.

"Thanks Alice." she replied, shoving the sweet to the side of her cheek with her tongue. Alice just grinned, coughing again.

"You really should get something for that cough." said Lily, before rushing off towards the exam she had. Alice nodded, before running quickly in the opposite direction. She rounded the corner and ran straight into three out of four Marauders.

"How'd it go?" asked James.

"I hate being a girl." said Alice in Sirius' voice. "But she took it, no problem. I say hooray for hiccup sweets! Old Zonko's got the right idea with the shop of his. We should start one up!"

James nodded his agreement. Remus grinned.

"Operation Geek Takedown completed!"

**I THINK scourgify is the right spell for cleaning… meh. Other then that, this chapter was relatively fun to write. I like pranking Lily… ^^. It took forever to write, with TP attacking me whenever I stopped writing… *sigh***

**Anyway… Enjoys. Reviews make me write faster! XD**


	13. Chapter 13

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**Bloody mood swings had really angst ridden while writing this chapter… I hope it doesn't effect the quality. If it does, be sure to tell me, and when I don't feel so upset, I'll revise it.**

Chapter 13 - Of many Potions ingredients

Severus sat on the black sofa, knees drawn up and a roll of parchment resting on the large, hardback book that was resting on his knees. He used one hand to hold the book and parchment steady, the other was delicately holding an old quill that's feather was rather crumpled. The tip, nevertheless, was clean and sharp; he'd sharpened it before he'd sat down to write. He didn't want his ink to come out fat and blotted.

Of course, the real problem was actually thinking up some intelligent thing to write. It seemed that whenever he sat down to put quill to parchment, his mind went blank and after a while of not being able to write anything, he would give up and retreat back to flipping through his books on werewolves, or preparing the Elixir for when Potter would come to pick it up each week. Two months had passed since he'd last given the Gryffindor an order. He wasn't even going to classes anymore, favouring hollowing himself in his workroom and working determinedly at his projects. It stopped him from feeling the stares of hatred he received from almost everyone who passed him in the corridor, but while hard work on things he liked, in a safe place, was all good and dandy, it was starting to get a little lonely. He was starting to look forward to the moments Potter would visit to collect his potion, if only for that brief amount of human company that didn't seem to despise him completely.

He stood and shuffled round the room, looking over his possessions with soft eyes. Why was Potter suddenly acting so… nice, all of a sudden? Was it because of the Tractamosa? He snapped his head in the direction of his door when he heard a crash. There were muffled voices coming from outside, down the corridor. Severus would guess they were in the classroom, behind the store shelf. The walls down in the dungeons were thin, so he wasn't surprised that he could hear them.

"Fuck…"

_… Curiosity killed the cat Severus. _He told himself, eyes fixed on his plain wooden door. But then again, he wasn't a cat… He crossed the room, quietly opened the door and tiptoed down the corridor to outside the revolving store shelves.

"You gunna puke?"

"… No…" someone coughed violently, and Severus got the impression that they were lying, and they really were going to be sick. He hoped they wouldn't, if they did he might be able to smell it from his workroom, and that was not something he wanted.

"Wow, don't you look pretty." said somebody. Severus thought he recognised the voice, but being hollowed up in a dungeon tended to screw up your senses. There was a small silence, then:

"Shut up you dork."

"Just commenting."

"What, you like Alice?"

Another silence followed, and the question wasn't answered, so Severus could only assume that it was answered with a nod or shake of the head. He heard a door swing open, then shut again, and pushed his way through the store shelf. He looked around the room, where the remains of some random potion was left. He sniffed at it.

"Polyjuice potion?" he asked the room. The room did not reply. Weren't Polyjuice potions getting forbidden? They only learnt about them in seventh year, and the ministry was getting all up-in-arms about how dangerous it could be. Of course, that hadn't stopped Severus trying it out in his workroom, which was how he could recognise it's remains. The boy sighed to the deserted room, rubbing his temples thoughtfully, before turning back to return to his workroom. What was he doing out here?

**- X - **

"James?"

James whipped round at Sirius timid comment, and came face to face with the cubicle door. He knew something was wrong. Sirius never called him James in such a timid way. Sirius never said _anything_ in a timid way. The boy was inside the cubicle, changing out of Alice's clothes from his adventure as a woman; he'd taken awhile because he'd had to change back first… but still.

"What is it Pads?"

"Erm… how long has it been?" asked the voice on the other side of the door. James looked to Remus, who checked his watch.

"About half an hour now you mention it. You okay?" said the sandy-haired boy. Pete, who was sitting by the sinks, swinging his legs, stopped swinging. They'd been talking so animatedly they hadn't noticed how long Sirius had spent in the cubicle. It was way past he hour Polyjuice potion allowed.

"Erm… well…" said Sirius, and James heard some shuffling, "I haven't changed back." the boy stated, coming out the cubicle. He looked like Alice, though he was dressed in Sirius' clothes, which were swimming on her. James rose an eyebrow.

"Evidently." said Remus, checking his watch again. Pete hopped down off the counter where the sinks were, and came over to check Sirius out.

"What do we do then?" he asked, once he'd checked the boy over. Sirius squirmed under the scrutinising. James pulled up a hand and ruffled his hair thoughtfully. Why would Sirius not change back? What happened?… if only he knew more about potions. If only they knew someone who knew a lot about potions…

"Well… I happen to know a guy." James ventured, wincing at his own train of thought. It would never work. Even if he did agree, it didn't mean Sirius would!

"If you're thinking Snape I-"

"Here me out! Snape's _good _at potions! _Really good_!" he justified. "He might be able to fix this. Even if he cant he may have an idea of what to do." he added, despite Sirius glaring expression.

"I know you guys are all buddy-like now, but I'm not! I'm not going to that bastard for help!"

Remus sighed. Pete bowed his head. James glared at his so-called best friend.

"You mean like I have to every week?" he asked, clenching his fists. Sirius faltered.

"I didn't… Jamie…"

"Don't 'Jamie' me like I'm some sort of docile kid! I'm trying to help and you reject it and then rub in my face how absolutely helpless my situation has become! Do you think I freaking _like _having to depend on that jerk?"

Sirius crossed the room and placed a hand on his friends shoulder.

"I'm _sorry_ James. That was harsh of me. Sorry."

James crossed his arms, but let a very small smile grace his lips.

"I guess I can forgive you. But you better come with me. I'm not joking about Snape being good at potions. I'm sure he can fix you up."

Sirius, despite obviously still being against the idea, let James drag him out of the bathroom they were currently inside, and down off towards the dungeons; leaving Remus and Pete in their wake.

"When did James learn the word docile?" Remus wondered aloud.

- X -

"Stay in the classroom!"

"Dammit Jamie _why?_"

"Because I said so."

Snape groaned, sitting up from where he was laying on the sofa and giving the door of his workroom his most death-threatening glare. Who dare disturb the small amount of peace he'd actually been able to find since he'd had the daylights beaten out of him by a bunch of angry Slytherins for no reason what so ever? Did they not know that this was the first time he'd been able to sleep without worrying he might stop breathing if he did? Insolent fiends! He almost had a heart attack as the door burst open and James stumbled in, muttering curses. As it was, though, he simply rose an eyebrow.

"Snape!" James semi-shouted, earning him a glare from the Slytherin. "Sirius needs your help…" he added, in a much smaller voice, staring intently at the floor. Snape rolled his eyes.

"Seems that's a common theme with you Gryffindors." He didn't miss James clenching his fists. "What has the idiot done this time?" he asked, brushing over the surprised but happy look James shot him at his interest.

"Well, he took some Polyjuice potion to turn him into Alice… err, don't ask why, and then he couldn't turn back!"

Snape rose his eyebrow again.

"And where is he now?"

"In our classroom… I wouldn't let him come down here, though he gave me grief about it."

Snape wasn't quite sure if James wanted to patted on the head or something; the way he proudly proclaimed how he'd managed to keep Snape's workroom a secret from his friends made him seem like a puppy who wanted praise from it's master. He smirked at the idea, though he wouldn't ever actually try to pat James' head, the image was relatively amusing.

"In that case. I'm sure I can change him back." he stood, passing James by as he went to the door, but as he came to the door he stopped, looking back over his shoulder at James; who was staring at his cauldrons with a strange look. "What is it?"

James jumped, spinning round and shaking his head.

"N- Nothing!" he protested, then walked forward, pushing Snape out the door and down the corridor. "Sirius will think I've died if we're too long."

"…" Snape closed his mouth, which had fell open in shock at James sudden transformation, and let himself be pushed to the storage shelf, and past it, into their potions classroom. Alice was sitting on one of the desks; legs swinging over the edge. Or rather, Sirius was. The boy looked in their direction, and tried to stop his automatic glare. Snape rolled his eyes and strode across the room, studying Sirius intently. The Gryffindor tried not to squirm. He _hated_ being looked at so thoroughly.

"I think… yes…" Snape muttered as he looked at the boy in Alice's body. "Do you still have the remains of the potion?"

James nodded, then went to retrieve it from where they'd left the remains of the polyjuice potion. He handed the small potion over to Snape, who shifted his attention to that.

"Right… I see…" The Slytherin muttered. "Go get some Knotgrass, and some Sneezewort. While you're at it, get some Stinksap and Dittany." the Slytherin instructed, setting up a cauldron and prodding a flame into life underneath it. Sirius watched as James went into the store room cupboard and came out with a pot of Knotgrass, a pot of Dittany and some Sneezewort.

"I'll have to go to the greenhouses to get the Stinksap…" James trailed off, putting the ingredients on the desk Sirius was at, on the other side of the room from where Snape was working. Sirius cocked his head at the strange decision.

"Fine. Black! Bring those ingredients to me. Get to the greenhouses Potter." James nodded, rushing out of the classroom, and Sirius stood up, bring the ingredients closer to Snape. "You can help with this Black, since you're the one who got yourself in this situation." Snape said, using an abandoned scalpel to cut up the knotgrass. Sirius pulled the Dittany closer.

"Crush it?" he asked, and started when he got the nod from Snape. Three minutes later, Snape had cut up 10 grams of Knotgrass (which is a fair amount considering it's grass), and Sirius had crushed 5 grams of Dittany. James rushed back into the classroom, carrying a container of Stinksap and covering his nose. Snape went to meet him and snatched the container, waving James away and depositing the contents of it into his cauldron, closely followed by 13 grams of pure Sneezewort, which bubbled and fizzed and dissolved. The potion was a sickly yellow colour. Severus sprinkled in the Dittany with a careful deliberateness, and stirred five times anti-clockwise. The potion turned to a sludgy brown, and looked as thick as jelly. Snape stirred again and added the Knotgrass carefully. The potion lost some of its viscosity.

"Just let it simmer for about 20 minutes and it'll be done." the boy said, "I'm glad this was easy. I'm sure even you could have done it Black…"

Sirius bowed his head, and went to join James at the back of the room. James gave him a shaky smile, despite his legs suddenly feeling incredibly shaky. Was it just him, or was it very stuffy in here? He could even smell the fumes from the potion on the other side of the room.

"Thanks." Sirius said, facing the wall. But both James and Snape could tell it was addressed to the Slytherin. James was going to tell Sirius that it was the right thing to do, and well done for being the better man and all that, but unfortunately, it was about then that he lost consciousness.


	14. Chapter 14

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction **

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 14 - I Depend On You.

When James awoke it was to a pounding headache. He just barely opened his eyes to slits to take in his surroundings, and let said slits rest on Sirius, who was sitting next to where he was laying, fast asleep. The boy had frown lines across his usually smooth forehead, and was slouched heavily in his chair. James moved his eyes, widening them a little further, to try and figured out where he was.

The room was dark and had a smell common to hospitals, and the drapes hanging semi-closed around the bed he was lying in gave away that James was in the Medical Wing. The messy haired boy sat up in bed, trying his best to ignore the pounding in his head, and felt around for his glasses. Locating them, he slipped them on, and momentarily revelled in the fact he was able to see again. That was, until he heard a stumble outside his semi-drawn curtains, and was instantly on edge.

He grabbled around for his wand, and when the curtains were pulled back he was ready; pointing it towards the intruder and thinking up the best curse to use. His mind pulled up no results, however, when he came wand to face with Severus Snape.

"Put your wand away Potter." the Slytherin hissed, stepping into the small, dark area and placing down a bottle of something foul looking next to Sirius' sleeping form. The Slytherin glared down at James. "How do you feel?" he asked, a slight edge to his voice that betrayed how ridiculous he felt asking that question. James nodded dumbly, shuffling to put his wand away. His body felt like it was on fire, and he was slightly afraid to admit that he knew the sensation all to well.

"Fine." he responded, voice raspy and dehydrated. Snape pulled up a chair next to Sirius; something which was so strange that when James glanced at it, he had to look again. But sure enough, Snape was sitting next to Sirius like it was an every day occurrence.

"Do you feel dizzy, sensitive or hot?" Asked the Slytherin, leaning forward slightly in his chair. James coughed, wary to admit he felt like he was going up in flames.

"Do I look hot?" he asked, trying to sound scathing and knowing he was failing.

"Yes." Was his short reply. James chuckled lightly, despite the vibrations going through his head and intensifying his headache.

"I always thought you had a thing for me." he replied, jokingly, before realising what he'd said and blushing; avoiding eye-contact. Luckily, Snape decided to let his cocky comment slip.

"Here." he said stiffly, shoving the vile he'd brought in with him into James' hands. The boy took it with slight fumbling, and stared at it with a look of pure disgust. It was yellow.

"If this is that Love Potion…"

"It's not." Snape could barely hide his amused smirk at James' comment. "You drank all that. This should stop your fever." he added. James shot a slightly disgruntled look between Snape and the potion, and ultimately decided that it must be trustworthy, as he uncorked it and gulped it down. He shivered and scraped his teeth along his tongue to try and rid it of some of the disgusting taste.

"It's minging." He said, and was met with silence. Snape had fallen asleep in his chair. James gave himself the privilege of sending the lanky haired boy a soft smile. Since there was no one there who could see him. No one who was awake anyway.

"James?"

James jumped out of his skin, swivelling his gaze towards where his curtains were slightly open. However, there wasn't anybody there. James bit his lip, glancing back at his sleeping companions. He was certain he'd heard something. But there was no one there, and Snape and Sirius were both still soundly asleep. Then he heard a loud crash on the other side of the room, which had him diving under the covers. Not that he'd admit that to anyone. He couldn't be hallucinating, and in fairness, Hogwarts was an old castle, it was a fairly scary place if you were feeling vulnerable.

He emerged from underneath the white duvet the Medical Wing supplied, and shot Sirius and Snape another look, before throwing away the covers and stepping out onto the cold floor. He was barefoot and it sent shivers right through him, but he continued to feel dizzy as he stumbled his way towards the curtains. Snape's painkiller wasn't doing as much good as it had done last time.

He dragged his feet out of the Medical Wing and looked around the surrounding area. He spotted the swish of someone's robes as they rounded the corner, and made his way after them, determined to find out who it was. He got to the corner and steadied himself against it. The mysterious person was already out of sight. There was no way he'd ever catch up to him. Besides, he still felt inhumanely hot.

He struggled down the dark hallway; sweating and stumbling and keeping his hand on the wall to keep himself upright. The heat was getting incredibly intense again, and he wasn't entirely sure where he was going, now that he obviously wasn't following the mystery stranger anymore. Before he knew it, he'd made his way down to the entrance hall, though he wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed to get down the stairs. His vision was beginning to go blurry.

It was fairly obvious now, that he shouldn't have left the Medical Wing. He was in desperate need to medical attention. He hated to admit it, but he was burning up. He needed someone to help. He'd come to depend on Snape being there with his little miracle cures, yet now where was Snape? Back in the Medical Wing. And he'd snuck out to go chase after some random person he didn't even know. Really, he'd brought this upon himself. And it was so, so hot again. And this time, Snape wasn't there to help him out.

He stumbled out of the great doors which lead to the outside. It was a fairly cool night, with rain clouds threatening to spill. Yet it did nothing to cool him.

He fell to his knees, slamming his fists into the ground to try and break his fall. Mud sprayed up into his face, and he felt something snap in wrist; the result of the angle his wrist connected with the ground at. It was accompanied by a sickening crack. Pain shot up his arm, but it was barely noticeable compared to his high fever. He stood back up, hacking dryly and cradling his arm against his chest. He was only very faintly aware of any sort of movement behind him, and then he moved on towards the forest, and Hagrid's hut, in a hopes of finding someone he could lean upon for a few minutes. Someone he could depend upon.

"James?" Came the faint shout in the distance from a voice that was vaguely familiar to him. It was coarse, presumably from shouting. "James?" the voice asked again, much closer now, and James recognised that the owner of the voice must be right beside him. The voice was breathy, like he'd been running. Was someone that worried about him? James thought offhandedly as he slipped in and out of awareness. He looked towards where he thought the voice was coming from, yet found his vision was too blurry to even see the outline of whom ever it was.

The next moment he found himself, once again, rushing towards the ground at an alarming rate, and cradled his wrist protectively, faintly remembering what had happened last time he'd found himself in that situation. He knew he was mere centimetres from the ground when strong arms wrapped themselves around him securely, breaking his fall and drawing him into a lightly muscled chest. He felt himself being lifted up, and supported with ease, as if he was nothing more then a kitten. Yet, he couldn't find the strength in him to thank his saviour.

"I'm sorry James… This is all my fault." he heard as he slipped into unconsciousness, depending on someone else to take him to safety.

It started to rain.

- X -

The mysterious stranger walked as quietly as he could down the hallway, walking fast so as not to be caught up by the boy he knew to be following him. Not that he really needed to walk so fast, he realised, as the boy was barely able to keep himself conscious, let alone be an effective tail. Really, it was pitiful.

He turned the corner; pulling his wand from his pocket and lighting the dark area. He was on the fourth floor, so took the short-cut behind the tapestry down to the entrance hall, and crossed the hall with an air of arrogance. He flung open the large doors and stepped out into the cool night, only to duck behind some large bushes minutes later when the doors were opened again; this time with no where near as much force.

His shadow from earlier stumbled out, looking flushed and dizzy. How had he'd got down to the ground floor so quickly? Even if he knew some short-cuts, in his condition it seemed impossible that he could get from one end of the hallway to the other without collapsing.

"Gryffindor? I thought we said not to bring one of your stupid friends."

The mystery man squeaked, turning round to lay his eyes on a tall man with long blonde hair. Lucius Malfoy.

"I didn't!" The boy protested. "He followed me here! Besides, in his condition he can barely stand. He won't find us." he added, looking at his feet. Behind Lucius was Bellatrix, Narcissa and Rudolphus.

"He managed to follow you here didn't he?"

"Yes, but…"

"Enough." Broke in Bellatrix, glaring down at the Gryffindor. "What information do you have for us?"

Peter swilled his gaze to look at where James had been standing, then turned back to the Slytherins.

- X -

"James? James! What the hell did you do Snape?" asked a voice James knew he recognised.

James felt himself being deposited down onto a soft bed, and the blankets being drawn up around him. Then his head was tilted up and something vile was tipped down his throat. He didn't have the strength to complain, and this person had looked after him so far, so he just swallowed.

"What happened?" asked the same voice, anger laced in his tone at being ignored, and James heard a mumbled reply. "What was that?" the voice asked.

"I said I gave him the wrong potion. I'm sorry." Someone replied. James faintly registered that this person must be the person who had carried him and looked after him. He let a tiny smile grace his lips. The person seemed annoyed and awkward at saying what he did. He got the feeling 'sorry' wasn't a word that was used very often by his saviour.

"So what? You gave him the right potion now right? He's gunna be okay?"

"He'll be fine."

James heard someone let out a huge sigh of relief, and the scraping of chairs as his two companions sat down. He still couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.

"Thanks… You know… For going to get him."

James mustered another smile. It seemed both his companions were awkward around each other. Yet here they were, together, because of him. Was that supposed to make him happy or sad? He couldn't quite tell, he decided, as he slipped back into unconsciousness.

**This chapter is short because I actually thought I was gunna rip it up and chuck it out the window. I have not had fun writing this chapter. Growl!**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it though! Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

**So, who wants to draw me some fan art of this story, because they love me, and they're gorgeous if they do, and I said I'd do some myself, but I barely have time to write the damn thing, let alone draw it? Loves!**

**On a side note: ****After two months and so with no orders flying about, I have no idea what the day is, in respect to this story, so I****'m just starting about Tuesday, if it's wrong… you'll get over it. I also believe its around the October time… so woot for Halloween soon! XD**

Chapter 15 - To Blow Up Something, Or turn the Headmaster Bald.

James woke up in his own bed, surrounded by his covers. He snuggled in; no longer feeling hot, but rather, freezing cold. He glanced around the room to see each of his roommates doing the same, and found out that the reason for his temperature (or lack thereof), was because of the open window. Who left a window open in the dead of night? It was just asking for the flu.

He stood up and crossed the room, sealing the window closed, before going back to his bed and snuggling up again. He knew he was being a little broody, but he couldn't help but wonder what had happened the day before. He could barely remember a thing of yesterday, except he knew when he'd awoken in the Medical Wing a second time, Sirius and Snape weren't talking. Which in itself wasn't odd, but it was more of the fact they weren't slinging insults at each other.

He sighed, turning over and over again in the confines of his four poster. It was Tuesday, he could understand why he'd had such a harsh reaction yesterday. He'd taken the potion Snape had given him on Friday… and as much as he could remember, he hadn't done anything to spark a reaction. He jolted back from his broodings by an insistent tapping at the window. He glanced over to see one of the schools large tawny owls carrying a small letter. It was from Snape no doubt.

He pulled himself over to open the window he'd just closed, took the letter, and shooed the hungry looking animal away, closing the window again. He dragged his feet over to his bed, and plopped himself down, readying himself to read Snape's latest order. He sighed heartily and dramatically, relishing in his own slight defiance, before tearing open the envelope and reading the content. Once he was finished he found himself to be slightly red and severely annoyed.

_Potter,_

_ Now you're feeling better I have nothing against getting right back to business. you're order for today; call all your professors Mum and Dad, or any variation of these you may wish to use. Don't tell you're marauder buddies what you're doing. And please, don't try and simply not talk to your professors today, try to call them it at least once in each lesson._

The letter ended, with no name given, yet James didn't really need a name to know. Snape never put his name anyway, he faintly remembered, from the last time he'd received one of these notes.

"Letter?" asked Peter, sitting up in bed and yawning widely. James nodded, glancing at his friend. It was strange that he was up before Pete; the known early riser. Had the boy been up late the night before or something? James couldn't really remember a thing. "Wazzit About?" the other boy asked, cracking his shoulder bones with a pop and click. James shook his head slightly.

"Nothing important. Just my parents reminding me not to get expelled or anything." he replied, thinking fast. He shot Pete a smile. "You know how parents are. Always worried your going to blow something up or turn the headmaster bald."

Pete gave a short snort of amusement, presumably at the image of a bald Dumbledore, before dragging himself out of bed and slipping into his school clothes.

"You're parents seem like real riots." he offhandedly commented, looking at the wall above James' head before shuffling out of the dormitory. James shrugged to no-one in particular.

"At least that's got his mind thinking that my minds thinking about parents… god excuse James." he congratulated himself, shuffling around the room, glancing at this and that and trying to wake himself up, without waking anyone else up. He made his way down the spiral staircase, and into the common room after he'd changed into his school uniform, and deigned himself presentable.

He joined the early risers in the common room, and kept himself as just a bystander. He wanted to be invisible today, so he could do this task with minimal embarrassment. Since that's what Snape was after, wasn't it? James' embarrassment. Really, the Slytherin was such a bastard.

- X -

"Jamie, James, Jay, Jay-Jay, Jimmy, Jim, Jim-bob, Darling, Love, Sweetheart, Sweetie-pie, Honey, Pumpkin, Pumpkin-pie, Gorgeous, Babe, Cupcake, Cupcake-pie -"

"SIRIUS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Sirius did as he was told, sinking slightly lower in his seat at James' yell. He pouted at his Transfiguration notes. Why was this horrible lesson first thing in the morning? The only lesson James liked in the slightest, and would actually pay attention to; thus leaving Sirius alone, to wallow in his loneliness?

"I was only trying to get your attention Mr. Grumpy-pants." he said sourly, glaring at his friend turned boffin. James rolled his eyes.

"You're such a drama-queen, as soon as someone isn't paying attention to you, you hate it."

Sirius gave a large, fake gasp.

"I'm _insulted_ that you would even _think_ such a thing of _me_, your _best friend for life_, and partner in crime. HOW COULD YOU!? How could you _betray_ my trust like that? You… you - You fiend! I've never, in my life, _never_ felt so let down! How could you rather listen to that old _witch_ then listen to _me_? ME? How could transfiguration be worthy of your attention? How could _transfiguration_ catch your beautiful eyes, yet I, Sirius Black, best friend and sex god, get left to be shoved in the corner. Is it that you only want to _use_ me? Am I only good for a _laugh_? Some _fun_? IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU?!?!?!"

"Sirius Black! Report to me for a detention after classes today!"

"Professor! That's way unfair! It was Jamie's fault!"

"Was not!"

"I expect to see you there too Potter."

"But ~mum!"

James blushed bright red, but was secretly proud he'd remember to call her that at all. Snape got his fucking embarrassment he thought, as Sirius went a deadly silence, then burst out laughing. The whole class soon followed.

"I don't care what name you want to give me Potter. I still expect you in detention."

- X -

"Way I hear it, you were just thinking about that letter you got this morning, and everyone was distracting you." said Pete, later that day. James had managed to complete Snape's task in every lesson so far; Transfiguration; Potions - where he'd called Slughorn 'dad' when he'd been called over to discuss his essay. Slughorn had chuckled and asked if he reminded James of his father. James had shrugged in a non-committal way; Charms - He'd called Flitwick 'dad' as everyone was distracted by what they were supposed to be charming, and Flitwick had come about to help out. James wasn't even sure Flitwick had noticed, let along everyone else; and Muggle Studies, which he'd just come out of, calling Professor Jed 'dad' in front of the whole class when asked to give a presentation on families. He figured it was a VERY good excuse.

However, Sirius was still cracking up about Transfiguration.

"I don't know Pete." he said, sending James a teasing look. "James had always had a thing about Transfiguration. Perhaps he's always thought of McGonagall as a second mum." he subsided into giggles and James rolled his eyes.

"You're taking this way over board. It's relatively common for people to accidentally mix up who they're talking to." he replied. Sirius stopped laughing.

"Kill joy."

"Asshole."

"Asshole?"

James shrugged, sipping at his pumpkin juice.

"What, you're still annoyed about the whole detention thing?" Sirius asked.

"Yes." was James' short reply. Sirius gave a very quite sigh, took a swig of his drink (Actually, James wasn't sure what Sirius was drinking, but it was purple, so he was going to steer clear of it.), and patted James on the back.

"Come on sweetcheeks ." he said, and James cringed at Sirius nickname. He was certain they were getting worse. "You know it's better when both of us are in detention. It's almost fun!" Sirius winked at him. James blew bubbles into his pumpkin juice.

"It's McGonagall though." he said quietly, stopping blowing bubbles and staring morosely at the cup. "She wont let us have fun. She probably make us do things on opposite ends of the castle."

At this, Remus jumped in, looking excited.

"That's right!" he said, almost triumphantly, "I've been meaning to tell you." He paused for what James could only assume was dramatic effect. Except the pause dragged on too long, and Sirius was forced to say;

"Go on."

Remus grinned. "No wait! I want you to be really excited about this!"

"We can't be excited if we don't know what it is!" James snapped, patience wearing thin.

Remus grinned some more, then reached into his pocket and pulled out two mirrors.

"I made these, for you two. You can use them during detention." he said, placing one down in front of both James and Sirius. Sirius laughed.

"Aww! Remy? A present? For ME?"

Remus and James simultaneously raised their eyes to the heavens.

"They're communication mirrors. Two way." explained Remus, picking Sirius' up. "Here, I'll show you."

He lent forward a little and muttered James' name. James mirror lit up with Remus face.

"See, we can talk through the mirror, no matter how far away you are." Said Remus, and a second or two later, the mirror repeated it. "Okay, so it isn't perfect yet." Remus added, then the mirror repeated it. James and Sirius, both lent over James' mirror, stared at it in shock and admiration. Sirius looked up and caught eyes with Remus.

"I fucking LOVE you."

Remus smirked.

"Yes yes, I know." he replied. Then an owl swooped down, skimming his head and making Remus duck, landing on the table right where James was sat. James groaned. Post was ages ago.

"Order, do you reckon?" asked Remus, giving the owl a reproachful looking, presumably for almost taking his head off. James shrugged, also giving the barn owl a reproachful look, for an entirely different reason. He lent forward and detached the letter. The owl flew off, perhaps to go catch a poor, unsuspecting mouse, before heading off for some sleep.

He opened the letter carefully, and read it to himself, not really wanting the other marauders to know what it said.

_Potter,_

_ I want you to discontinue my order for the day. Don't ask why. Furthermore, if you wish to help me with the Wolf's Bane potion, as you said you did, this is your chance. Please come to my workroom after your lessons end today._

James gulped. End order? No problem. Don't ask why? No problem. His first chance to prove to Snape that he really wanted to help with this potion, and he was in detention. Major problem. How could he prove to Snape that he was a good person, if the first time the Slytherin gave him a chance, he couldn't even turn up? He shook his head. There was no point worrying about it. McGonagall would probably just keep him for a hour, then he could go to Snape's workroom and explain what happened. He nodded to himself.

"Order?"

"Nah." he said, smiling. "Now tell me more about these mirrors Moony."

**I'm going on holiday tomorrow! XD So I thought I'd leave you with something fun! Hope you all enjoy it! **


	16. Chapter 16

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 16 - Excuses

James wiped the same glass for what felt like the millionth time. His mirror was set on the side, slightly out of sight in case McGonagall walked back in and confiscated it. It flashed momentarily and James picked it up; checking the nearest clock to find the time. Seven at night, he was completely late if he wanted to help Snape. He looked into his new mirror and saw Sirius' face instead of his own. It was a little grainy, and kept jumping, but overall, it was an amazing piece of magic.

"Hey Jamie." said Sirius' voice. The background behind him looked like just another classroom to James, so he couldn't tell where McGonagall had placed his friend.

"Hey Siri." he replied, wiping at the glass again, trying to get one stubborn stain to go. Sirius grinned on the other end of the mirror.

"McGonagall says I'm done, so I'm off-ski."

James swore.

"That's so unfair! I didn't even deserve this! I had plans for tonight!" James growled at the mirror. Sirius snorted amusedly, and James saw his body shift so he was sat down, more comfortably.

"Tell me more kiddo." demanded the teen, "a date?" James blushed heavily, though not entirely sure why, and wiped forcefully at the glass, until the stain disappeared.

"Not a date." James said, clearing his throat a little. "Just…"

"Snivellus?" Sirius guessed, making James cough some more. Sirius shrugged and sighed. "You said it wasn't an order, what if he gets angry, jeez James! I could have covered for you… this is your life-"

"Shut up." interrupted James. "It wasn't an order. Snape isn't going to 'get angry' and kill me off just because I'm not there. Stop worrying like a damn mother hen."

"Mother hen my ass James! I can't STOP worrying. I need to know… where…" Sirius trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging, and James knowing exactly where it was going. He dropped his cloth, and started pacing the room.

"Always that same question. Where do I draw the line?" he asked himself, glancing at all four walls of pointless crap, that apparently needed cleaning, despite never being on display or used for anything. He heard Sirius grumble a response, but honestly couldn't care what the other boy had said. "I'm not… I won't… I won't hurt anybody." he said; stopping in his tracks and clenching his fists at his sides. He wasn't sure is Sirius could see him, but he wasn't about to start shaking like a scared kid, no matter if the only things that could see him were the walls. He clenched all the muscles in body to try and stop the shaking, but it wasn't helping too much at all. In fact, he was semi-aware that it was only making it worse.

"James?"

James span round, smile plastered on his features. He went over and picked up the mirror.

"It's fine Siri!" he exclaimed, grin wide and fake. "I need to finish up here, so when McGonagall comes I'm done too! Speak to you later!" he added, wondering if there was a way to switch off the connection. Sirius, getting the unspoken message, disconnected. James made a mental note to ask him how he did it. Knowing Sirius, he probably learnt it from Remus before hand, something James wouldn't think to do.

- X -

Severus stirred the potion periodically anti-clockwise for three minutes. He was careful not to slosh it too much, and flicked his wrist in just the right way to amplify it's magical effect, but in all honesty, he was bored stiff. Potter was supposed to have been there almost three hours ago! He cursed himself for believing that Potter would actually come. It was a ridiculous idea to actually trust a Gryffindor, wasn't it? Especially one that had made every opportunity to ridicule and terrorise Severus. What on Earth had made him believe that Potter could change, and was quite willing to prove that? The bastard was probably sitting up in his common room with his little marauder buddies laughing about how he was down here; alone, bored, and whining about how Potter wasn't here. He sighed and shifted his body weight, the hard stool not doing any favours for his back and making his already creaky bones creak more.

Really, he was a mess; large, hooked nose; long, un-styled, greasy hair; pale as a ghost; not incredibly athletic. He screwed himself over by wearing clothes sizes to big for him which made him look skeletal. It was no wonder people picked on him. He was a walking zombie - he was even anti-social. The other students probably thought he was a vampire that was afraid of the sun in case he incinerated. Or perhaps he was a creature of damp, dark dungeons that fed on bats and human brains. It really wasn't his fault that the Slytherin common room was in the dungeons. Nor was it his fault that he was good at potions, where the fumes would constantly keep his hair greasy.

He sighed.

As for his clothes, well, he came from a poor family. His father wouldn't care about his clothes, and would probably send him into school naked. His mother had managed to secure some hand-me-downs from a friend, but they certainly weren't the right size for Severus. And everyone knew if you used shrinking charms on clothes, it ruined the fabric, and meant that they'd tear at the seams before long. He simply couldn't afford for that to happen. He tried to bring in money wherever he could, making potions for people and selling them. Which was the fundamental reason he was working on the Wolf's Bane potion, no matter what he told Potter.

Potter.

He couldn't believe he'd trusted Potter any further then he could throw the damn bastard. He'd truly believed Potter cared about the making of this potion, and where was he now? Hell, if Severus had his way. But no, he was more likely laughing it up with the Gryffindors. Severus was angry, and he knew why. Potter had been a full-on twisted jerk before now, doing things Severus refused to think about now, yet before now, Severus had never trusted him. Potter had never made him believe that there was a glimmer of a nice person in him. And when the bastard had tried, Severus had been caught and trapped in his web. He'd been carried along like a babe in arms, and now he realised that he was stupid and naive to think that a boy like James Potter could ever change his spots. Was he overreacting? No. This entire incident was the pinnacle. The icing on the cake. The cherry on the ice-cream. He just wouldn't stand for being manipulated and made fun of anymore. It was time he got some pay back.

"Snape?" asked a voice from behind him, and Severus swung round, confused as to why he hadn't heard the door open. Had he been so wrapped up in his own thoughts? He snarled as James made his way, slowly and deliberately, into Severus personal space. He stopped just a mere three steps from him - which was way too close for comfort in Severus' eyes. "Sorry I'm late, I -"

"I don't want to hear your excuses Potter." interrupted Severus, swinging his body to face his work, and turning his back to James. James swallowed heavily. He'd told Sirius Snape wouldn't be angry, he was fairly certain that he was right, but… now, hearing the tone in Snape's voice that betrayed how irritated the Slytherin really was…

"But-"

"But but _but_!" Mimicked Severus, clenching his fist around the cauldron he was working on. "I don't give a fuck about your god-damn buts! Get the hell out of my work room!" he all but screamed. Severus hated himself for showing such a stupid array of emotions over Potter. How had that boy been able to make him so enraged and frustrated? He couldn't stand to look at the Gryffindor, standing there with his excuses and good will and other shit that Gryffindors prided themselves on. Not that he was sure Gryffindors prided themselves on their ability to always have an excuse. Although, they always did.

James backed away a few steps.

"Snape…" he trailed off when Severus made no move to turn around and look at him, and in the end, he quickly made his way out of the work room, and along the corridor. He stopped in front of the shelves of potions ingredients and sank to a sitting position, leaning against it. He drew his knees to his chest and hugged them. What had he really done to piss off Snape that much? Sure, he was late. Yeah, he'd said he would help out. But had his absence really made any difference? He wasn't allowed near potions anyway. The only reason he was really coming was to add moral support. He hugged his knees tighter, burying his nose in them and pushing his glasses up his nose, uncomfortably pushing them against his eyes. Yet, he didn't make a move to adjust them. He quickly looked up as Snape made his way out of his work room, further down the corridor.

"If you don't want to go back to your common room, I don't care. But get away from this place." the Slytherin ordered. His form looming over he crouching James.

James got to his feet and pushed his way from the shelves, power walking out of the dungeons and up three flights of stairs before he slowed his pace. Why was he so worked up over Snape getting prissy anyway? Why did he suddenly care about what the greasy Slytherin thought? What was happening?

He dawdled up the fifth floor stairs, and out of the corner of his eye he noticed Pete wondering off in the other direction. He stopped himself from calling out. It was nearing curfew, and Pete was going away from the common room. But he seemed to be completely caught up in something. It was probably important, and James didn't want to waste Pete's time simply because he was feeling lonely and down. Pete was a big boy anyway, he could look after himself, and he probably already knew that curfew was just around the corner. He was a marauder after all, Pete could make up a good enough excuse SHOULD he get caught.

"Password Dear?"

"Stag." James mumbled, then bit his lip, realising he'd completely forgotten the knew password. It had changed recently, but James hadn't planned on getting caught alone any time soon, so hadn't bothered to learn it. Now, here he was, alone, and not able to get into his common room because of his laziness. He should have caught Pete when he had the chance. Pete _always _knew the passwords. "C'mon, it's me? You recognise me don't ya?" he asked the plump lady. She simply shook her head.

"I know, but people can disguise quite effectively in this school, I need the password." he replied apologetically. James sighed, running a hand through his hair, and sat down outside to wait for the next person to come by. Judging by the luck he'd had so far that day, he'd be out there all night. That was, or get hit in the head by a swinging portrait.

"Oh! Sorry dear!" exclaimed the plump lady, and Remus' head popped around the portrait. He grinned.

"Hey James! Why you sat outside? Have you seen Pete?" asked the werewolf, completely oblivious to the splitting pain in James' head thanks to his untimely entrance. James just shook his head, by passing Remus into the common room in search of something cool to rest his head against.

"Sugarplum!" exclaimed Sirius, way too loudly for James, who was now suffering from a bad headache. The dog-animagus leapt on his friend, then leant back. "You feeling alright?" he asked, noticing James' wincing and furrowed brow.

"Forgot the password." James said in a small voice, sitting down on the nearest chair. "Hit in the head by the plump lady." Sirius eyes widened.

"SHE CAN DO THAT?" he asked; standing up in a rush. "Remind me never to forget the password." he said. James rolled his eyes, the regretted it as it made his head throb more. He would probably have a bump there in the morning. Remus came up behind Sirius and clamped a hand down on his shoulder. Under Remus' inhuman strength, Sirius' knees buckled and he was forced into sitting on a chair behind him.

"Sorry about that James." said Remus, who had realised why James was suffering. "I didn't know you were the other side." he added. James shook his head.

"Not you're fault." he replied.

Sirius, was now confused about what was going on, shrugged it off, since he often didn't know what was going on, and changed the subject.

"How'd it go with Snape."

James groaned loudly, attracting attention from nearby 1st and 2nd years. Sirius and Remus gave him sympathetic looks, and Remus made Sirius scoot up on his chair so he could squeeze on too.

"He didn't even give me a chance to explain."

"Why were you going there again?" asked Remus, tilting his head very slightly to the side, and almost bashing skulls with Sirius. James looked at the two, and blushed slightly, looking down at his lap.

"Erm… Just some stuff. To do with the elixir. Don't worry about it." he waved the question. Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, but didn't take James up on it.

"So what happened?"

James sighed. "The bastard kicked me out before I could even tell him why I was late…" he trailed off, "Oh, and I saw Pete on the way up here. He was heading down stairs." he said, remembering Remus' earlier question. Remus bit his lip, exchanging another glance with Sirius.

"He's been doing that a lot lately." he eventually said. James shrugged.

"I'm sure if it's really important he'll tell us about it. Right?" he said. "We've got to trust out friends."

"Right." grinned Sirius, producing a pack of cards. "Anyone for exploding snap?"

**Reviews are always appreciated. ^^**


	17. Chapter 17

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**Okay, before I start, I'd like to say a few thanks (for this Oscar; XD I kid, I kid) In any case, here we go.**

**Firstly, to MyChemicalRomance0666, who I mention a lot, and do some gift fics for because, to be honest, I want to marry the girl. Not only does she practically write this thing for me, but she puts up with all my insecurities, then reviews like I came up with it all by myself. So yeah, she's wonderful, and everyone who awaits this story should be thanking her, not me, because without her this story would have died a long time ago.**

**Secondly, I would like to thank Mistress Lorescien, who's a gorgeous lady who reviews this story every chapter, and used the words 'emotionally charged' in my presence, thus giving me the inspiration to actually finish this damn chapter. **

**Obviously everyone else who reviews is also gorgeous, and also deserves thanks for keeping me going and generally being fantastic! ^^**

**Well, this has been an awfully long AN, and it makes me giggle that I need to write another one of these at the end of the chapter. That being said, I want to murder this chapter, which is why it's not as long as some other chapters I've given. Thanks for reading! **

Chapter 17 - The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

"Chicky-bean?"

James let out a rather unattractive snort, which he muffled with his hand. He was effectively told to 'shut up', without any words needing to be spoken, by Peter, when the rat animagus stamped on his foot. He decided against yelping like a little girl, since Pete would probably just stamp on his poor neglected toes again. Why he needed to be so silent all came down to the fact that he and Pete were hidden under the invisibility cloak, in the corner, while Remus and Sirius were having a heart-to-heart, unaware of their unwanted audience.

"Did you hear that?" asked Remus, looking around the room, ever the attentive one. Sirius shook his head, and laid back on the bed he and Remus were currently sat on.

"I didn't hear a thing. Where were we?" asked the dark-haired teen. Remus took one more sweep around the room, and laid down next to Sirius. They both looked up at the canopy, and at exactly the same time they both gave heart-felt sighs.

"We were talking about us." Replied Remus. James stuffed his fist in his mouth to stop a bout of giggles.

"Aww Wolfykins!" Cooed Sirius, his voice going slightly high-pitched in his teasing, "Are you worried about where this relationship is heading? I swear, I won't force you to do anything you don't wanna."

Pete had to clamp a hand over James' mouth to stop the boy from having a hysterical laughing fit and giving them away. They watched as Remus grabbed a pillow and slammed it into Sirius' unprotected stomach, making the boy cough and splutter violently.

"You know what I meant Pads. The Marauders."

All the occupants of the room instantly calmed down and took on a serious nature. Sirius sighed.

"Point still stands Moony…"

Remus nodded, though no-one was looking at him, as far as he knew.

"You can feel it can't you?" he asked, turning on his side to face his friend. Sirius also turned, and their knees knocked together in their intimacy. The dark-haired boy nodded, keeping eye-contact with his friends wolfish eyes.

"If you think we're growing apart…" he began, then paused, to think over his next words. "Then, we'll just have to work harder to keep us together."

Remus nodded, closing his eyes.

"Siri?"

"Yes cuddle-bunny?"

Remus smiled slightly, not being able to help it.

"Thanks."

At this point James threw away his invisibility cloak, exposing where he and Peter had been hiding. Sirius sat up quickly, laughed, then glared. Remus followed suit on the sitting up, but simply blushed.

"How long have you been there?" Sirius asked, the amusement in his voice betraying the anger in his expression.

"A little while." said James, crossing the room and sitting down on the bed with his friends. Pete hovered quietly at the edge until Sirius grabbed his arm and made him sit too.

"How much did you hear?" asked Remus quietly. James shrugged.

"Enough to know you're worried. And Remus Lupin worrying is _never_ a good thing!"

The sandy-haired boy looked at his lap, and Sirius grinned at his friends.

"Well there's no need is there? We're all here. All four Marauders." he reasoned. His other three friends nodded. "See apple-cake? We're not really growing apart. It's just been a little hectic recently."

"Why do the majority of your pet names revolve around food?" Asked James, shifting a little to get more comfy. The bed wasn't really made for four people to sit comfortably on it, and he kept bumping with the other Marauders.

"Because the way to a mans heart is through his stomach." Replied Remus without even thinking about it. There was a quiet pause while the occupants of the room tried to figure out when Remus had had the time to mull over the question and come up with an answer all in a split second. Then the werewolf in question gave a short, almost surprised laugh, as if he himself couldn't quite understand where his (very intelligent) estimate had come from.

"That's my chocolate lover." Said Sirius, teasing smirk plastered on his face. Remus blushed and reached for another pillow. James laughed along with his friends, formulating an idea in his head. Snape was mad at him? The way to a mans heart is through his stomach? He already knew Snape liked his cooking, so it was really all just coming together.

- X -

"Piss off."

James bit his lip, holding his hands behind his back, clasping the gift-bag tightly, and out of sight of the Slytherin.

"I'm here to say sorry." he said, sounding more confident then he felt. Something about Snape put him on edge. Made him feel lost and confused. At first he'd thought it was the simple, overshadowing fact that Snape had the power to take away his life, and he didn't even have to lift a finger to do it. Now, once he'd realised that Snape wasn't as evil as he'd first thought, he realised it must be something completely different. Yet, he couldn't place his finger on what exactly that completely different thing was. He stood his ground, however, when Snape turned his cold dark eyes to look at him.

They were in the Slytherins workroom come bedroom. Over the last month or so, while Severus had been forced to permanently move into the place, it had become more homely looking. His robes were swung over the sofa, and bits and bobs which were obviously personal possessions had been dotted around. James figured it was something of a compromise. Snape was forced to live alone in a dungeon because his own house hated him, yet because of that he had much more freedom to leave his personal things around. In a way, that freedom was sort of sad, James realised, as he roamed his eyes over the living space.

"I really can't be bothered with this right now Potter. I've got work to do." Replied the Slytherin. "Unlike you, I actually care about the success of this potion." he added. He bypassed James in order to reach a book from the bookshelf behind him. It was, as ever, jam-packed, and James could only imagine that the collection would grow.

"I do care about it." he said calmly. "The other night I was in detention as a result of _your_ order!" he added, growing a little more confident. Snape sighed.

"Don't pin the fact that you are completely useless and derisory on me." he supplied. James frowned.

"I'm NOT deri… Okay, I don't know what that means, but I'm _sure_ it was an insult."

Snape smirked at him.

"You have such a lack of intelligence I'm not sure how I ever believed you would be of use anyway."

James clenched harder on the gift he had brought to tide Snape over, glaring heatedly at the Slytherin.

"Fine. You don't want my help? Then… just, fine!" he said, anger flowing through him at Snape's harsh words. He brought the gift bag out in front of him. "These are chocolates I made with Moony. So I could say sorry." he explained.

"Chocolate?" asked the Slytherin with a sneer. "I'm really not into sweet things."

James threw the bag at the long-haired boy in a rage, and stormed out of the room.

Severus picked up the bag, from where it had fallen from to the floor and placed it on the sofa. He sighed heavily, wondering why he had been so harsh to the Gryffindor. Sure, he'd been angry about the other night, yet it was completely and utterly pointless to hold a grudge against something so stupid. Especially when James had given a very reasonable explanation as to what had happened and why he hadn't made it there in time. He bit his lip. What was it about Potter that put him on edge? What made him feel so lost and confused when it came to the scruffy haired male? He thought, as James huffed his way up to Gryffindor tower, ignoring any poor, unsuspecting person who happened to try and say hi.

"How'd it go with Snape?" questioned Sirius, sitting in one of Gryffindor common rooms many comfortable chairs. James had a major case of deja vu as he stomped past his friends in a strop, and up the stairs to their dormitory. Sirius, Remus and Pete all exchanged slightly worried looks before chasing him upstairs.

"He didn't like the gift?" teased Sirius, trying to lighten the mood. James glared at him, sitting down heavily on his bed and bringing a pillow out from behind him to smother himself with. Remus darted forward and plucked the offended object from his grasp.

"No need to go to drastic measures." He reprimanded. James glared up at him, before turning over so he didn't have to make the effort to glare anymore. Remus and Sirius exchanged another worried glance while Peter sat down on the edge of James' bed.

"What happened?" asked the rat animagus. James made a noise which sounded a lot like 'humph' and buried his head in his duvet. Sirius rolled his eyes, shoving James' legs out of the way and sitting down next to Pete. Remus strolled around the bed and crouched down next to where James was currently trying to suffocate himself with his duvet. He pried the cover out of James' clenched fist and gave James his 'daddy' look.

"How are we supposed to make it better if we don't know what happened?" he asked. James blushed slightly, avoiding eye contact by engaging in a staring competition with the sheets.

"You _can't _make it better." he eventually replied. "Snape's just a complete dunderhead!" he added, for good measure. He heard Sirius laugh and couldn't help the very small smile that slipped on to his lips. He tried to crush it before anyone noticed, but Remus saw and grinned.

"Come on Jamie-boy, if Snape's such a dunderhead why you so upset hey?" he asked, raising an eyebrow with a practised air. James stuck his tongue out.

"Because I'm emotionally charged and want everyone to like me. Now piss off." he said, and while Remus would never tell James so, he thought the entire sentence hit James right on the mark. He shrugged, climbing over James so he too could sit on the bed.

"Somehow this feels very reminiscent on this morning." Said Sirius, shifting a little to give Remus room. James sat up, so they could all sit in relative comfortableness.

"Yeah, except this time you and Moony aren't acting all lovey-dovey" teased James. Sirius gasped in a completely fake way.

"You're right Captain!" he exclaimed, to which James gave him a 'what the fuck?' look. Sirius carried on; "Remus, my darling prince! Why is it we aren't acting as if we are in love, can it be you don't _feel _for me anymore?"

Remus gave a short snort of amusement, shaking his head and wondering why _he _was always the target of Sirius' little charades.

"You haven't been all that sweet yourself princess." he replied, making James and Peter laugh and Sirius cross his arms in a way that stated his was in no way a 'princess'. Remus continued; "I haven't received a gift for so long! James gave Snape some chocolate, where's mine?" he added. Sirius laughed, then stood to search the room for chocolate, with Remus and Pete watching him. They didn't notice that James had suddenly had a turning realisation, and was sat thinking about it, blush spread all over his cheeks.

He'd given Snape chocolate, and that was a sign that he was _in love _with the Slytherin? He gaped at his sheets. No way… Admittedly, Snape was a much nicer person then James had expected, and it had been a relief to know he didn't support Voldemort… but there was no way he could actually _like _the lanky haired git, let alone _love_ him, right?

**Here we go on the second AN. **

**Well, I've officially managed to drag on James and Sev's fight for two chapters now, and in the next chapter I assure they both get over themselves and make up. I'll also begin to actually start with some lovey-dovey crap between the two, and that should begin to make things more interesting. So please, I ask you nicely, don't give up on this story because I update unpredictably, and come up with crap like this chapter, because this story will start getting better come chapter 18. ^^ **

**Thanks so much for reading, and remember that reviews are always appreciated, and I will always reply unless you review anonymously. **


	18. Chapter 18

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 18 - Things are changing.

Lily Evans was not just your average 15 year old, confident, red-headed, Gryffindor prefect with a thirst for knowledge, an annoying stalker and a best-friend who just _wasn't accepted_. No, Lily Evans was more then that.

Lily read over the letter she had received with sad eyes; trying to compose herself for the inevitable moment when James Potter would burst through the door and try to hit on her. She had to be composed when James did that, or else she was likely to curse him, and that didn't give a good impression for the first years. She was a prefect after all. But at the moment she didn't feel composed at all. She never did when she got letters from home.

Don't get Lily wrong! She loves to hear from her parents, and writes to them frequently about her lessons at school, and they tell her about life at home. Of course, they never mention Petunia. And Lily tries to tell herself that she doesn't _want_ them to mention Petunia.

But she does.

She wants to hear about her sister so much it hurts. Or better yet, she'd love to see her sisters neat, curly writing. She couldn't understand Petunia at all, yet she wanted to. She wanted to work with Petunia to help them learn from another, and stop all the hatred that had been going back and forth between the two for over four years now.

Ever since she had become a witch.

Was that it? She'd wondered whether it had been Petunia's jealousy that drew them apart for so long, but was it truly that Petunia hated her because she was lucky enough to be born a witch? She folded the letter and placed it in her school bag. She briefly wondered where James had got to. The post owls had come and gone, and breakfast was almost finished, but she had yet to be harassed by the Gryffindor chaser. As she wondered she found herself sitting opposite Sirius Black, and wondering when the dark haired teen had sat down on the other side of the table.

He reached for a piece of fruit from the middle of the table, and offered her a short smile. It seemed that without the other Marauders with him, he had no one to show off to. She smiled back, and Sirius' turned into a smirk. She bit her lip, wondering if she'd made the wrong move, or interpreted his intentions wrong.

"Don't tell me Gryffindor prefect Lily Evans is actually willing to _smile_ at Hogwarts famous trouble maker and heartthrob Sirius Black!" he teased, winking. Lily rolled her eyes, which had lost some of their sadness. Because Sirius Black was a security for her. He was always the same teasing, trouble-making, arrogant sod. Of course, James was always supposed to be there, to hit on her, and Remus was supposed to roll his eyes at James, and Peter would laugh at them all, while making witty comments about James' inability to win girls. Yet where were they now? "Fuck… Lily, are you okay?"

Lily wiped her eyes, choking back the sobs that threatened in her throat. There was an unbearable sadness that swept down upon her and settled like a blanket, but without the warmth. She bowed her head and watched as goose-bumps rose on her skin. She sobbed, bringing her hands to cover her eyes and inwardly scolding herself for crying. She didn't even know why she was so upset. It wasn't as if she didn't get letters from her parents all the time that didn't mention her sister. It wasn't as if she _wanted_ James to hit on her. Or Remus to roll his eyes. Or Peter to laugh.

It wasn't as if anything had changed, right? James was still... Severus…. Severus. Her best friend since childhood. Since before she knew she was a witch. Since before she fell out with Petunia. Since before she was sorted in Gryffindor, and met the Marauders. James _wasn't_ still James. And Severus _wasn't_ still Severus.

She wanted to know what was going on. She wanted to understand. She wanted to be able to help. She wanted to be able to make up with Petunia. She wanted to…

"Lily." She looked up to see Sirius standing over her. He helped her to her feet and wrapped an arm protectively around her. She sobbed again, trying to cover her face, which she was sure would be red and blotchy now. Sirius just walked her out of the great hall, sending glares at anyone who got in the way, or tried to interrupt the process. Once they were outside, in a small area of the entrance hall that wasn't overly crowded, Sirius turned to Lily and held her at arms length. "Lily." he said again, and Lily let tears run silently down her cheeks. Now even Sirius wasn't being normal. Everything was changing at Hogwarts and she could feel it. She was condemned to watch it from the sidelines, without a chance to try and stop it, or help out. Sirius sighed, yet dragged her further into the castle. He lead her up staircases, and eventually she found herself outside a statue of a witch and her cat. No one else was around. It was almost as if Sirius had found a secret place, that no one knew about.

"I'm sorry." she said, once she'd calmed herself down enough to talk. Sirius just shook his head.

"I know what you're feeling." he said, and while Lily seriously doubted he did, she decided to keep quiet, since he had been so nice so far. "You don't need to get so upset about change." he added, a little quieter. When Lily raised her swollen eyes, she realised that he was no longer looking at her, and that maybe, just _maybe,_ he could feel it too. She leant forward very slightly, and fisted her hand around his school shirt; she was trying to be threatening and get back some of her composure, but she was aware she only seemed weak.

"Sirius." she said, looking down at the floor between them. Sirius sighed, and placed a large hand over her delicate one.

"It's all going to be alright Lily." he reassured.

"Sirius." Lily repeated, more firmly this time. Sirius hadn't the right to say it would all be okay. He couldn't see the future.

"I know it will be. I know." Sirius carried on, almost as if trying to reassure himself, "Things are happening at the moment… and they suck. But… It's gunna be okay. Because… we're gunna make it okay" Lily looked up to see Sirius' giving her a reassuring smile, and couldn't help but smile back.

"Sirius." she said one last time, wiping away the remaining tears. "You… made me late for class."

Sirius laughed.

"Well, you better get running Pet."

- X -

He was there. Standing there like it was no bid deal. Leaning against the wall, right outside _his _stock shelf, his corridor and his workroom. He offered a small, welcoming smile, and Severus sighed, dropping his bag on the floor next to him. He hadn't even had any breakfast yet, and he was supposed to deal with Potter's ramblings? Said Potter pushed himself off of the wall, and said in one small and slightly awkward whisper.

"Severus."

Snape locked eyes with the Gryffindor, trying to not make it incredibly obvious his breath had just hitched. He'd never heard Potter use his first name before. It was either Snape or Snivellus. In a way, hearing Potter swallow the insults and just say his name felt good. Potter… no James… if he was being civil so could Severus, clapped his hands together nervously, and wrung them like a towel, when Severus didn't reply. Severus sighed.

"J-James." he said, coughing slightly afterwards in complete awkwardness of the situation. Yet the very strange thing was, that with the general acceptance that from that moment they would be civil and use first names, it was also accepted that they had forgiven each other for the other days hissy fit. James had breathed a sigh of relief, and had stopped torturing his hands in nervousness. Severus gave a jerky nod, which James returned.

"Sev-er-us." he said slowly, rolling it around on his tongue before letting it slide out. Severus rose an eyebrow expectedly, then James leant forward and clamped a hand on his shoulder, making him tense. "Yeah, I'm gunna call ya Sev." added James, retracting his hand at Severus' uneasy reaction to the contact. Severus, despite being glad that James had let go of his shoulder, glared at the nickname.

"You shouldn't get so friendly." he scolded, but James just smiled.

"Go ahead and give me your best shot Sev." the Gryffindor replied. "Order me about and embarrass me to hell and back. I'm determined to be nice to you, even if it kills me."

"It will do."

There was an eerie seriously in Severus' sentence that made James stop smiling and gaze at the Slytherin with slightly suspicious eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. Severus tried to move past him, but James, despite being smaller, blocked off his path. Severus wasn't about to make human contact and push him out of the way, and so just stood back. James made no move to un-block the Slytherin's way.

"You know what it means Pot… James." he replied, "We're both crazy for even talking here. My house wont stand for it."

James clenched his fist and slammed it into the wall, although he regretted it afterwards, since it hurt a lot, and didn't look as cool as he thought it would. He still sighed and locked eyes with Severus. His eyes were sad.

"I wont stand for this." he said, making Severus glare at him. "It's ridiculous, the way your house treat you."

Severus growled slightly, and for a short moment James was reminded of Remus when he got angry - inhuman.

"My house don't really treat me any differently from how you and your friends treated me for the last four years." he reminded, making James flinch.

"I know." he gulped out, then stepped to the side. "Sorry, go to breakfast, or else you'll be late."

Severus stepped forward so he was trapping James between him and the wall. James blushed at the intimacy.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, remembering why he'd come in the first place. He'd shown up, seen Severus and completely forgotten his original intention. Severus turned and rose a questioning eyebrow. "The… Ch-chocolate." James stammered. A look of dawning formed on Severus' face, then;

"I gave it to Regulus." he said. James bit his lip, trying not to feel too disappointed that Severus' hadn't even tried his gift. "But… Thank you. For the thought." Severus carried on, making James gulp and choke on his own saliva.

"Erm… it wasn't really anything." he said, staring determinedly at the floor. There was a very awkward pause, then Severus coughed, making James glance up.

"Being embarrassed doesn't suit you." the Slytherin stated, before walking out of the storeroom and into the their classroom. James got over his slight shock and followed him.

"What does suit me then?" he asked, catching up and falling in step beside him. Severus spared him a glance.

"Why ask me?" he eventually 'answered'. James shrugged, and they made there way to the great hall in silence. James was sure as they were passing the entrance hall that he'd seen Sirius taking Lily upstairs by the hand. But there was no way, Sirius and Lily didn't talk all that often, and if Sirius _did_ talk to her it would be to put a good word in for James. There's no way Lily would allow herself to be taken away by Sirius. Thinking about it, he'd left to see Severus so early that morning, he hadn't seen anyone of the Marauders but Pete, whom he'd said hello to in the common room.

When the went through the Great Hall's doors, Severus split off to go to Slytherin table, and James went to sit down at the Gryffindor table. He couldn't find his friends anywhere, and so sat down next to Frank Longbottom from the year above. A few minutes later Remus entered the hall, looking like he hadn't wanted to wake up that morning, but Pete was nowhere to be seen.

"Have you been Pete?" James asked as Remus sat down, but the werewolf just gave him a tired glare, so he shut up, and allowed Remus to eat, so he could wake up a little more.

"I saw him out on the grounds earlier, when I was checking on my Herbology project." said Frank. James gave him a thankful smile, and decided not to question what Pete wanted to do out in the grounds so early in the morning.

- X -

Regulus Black watched as his brother strutted past him, not even acknowledging his existence, as he dragged an upset looking red-head deeper into the castle. Regulus recognised her as Lily Evans, the woman Sirius' best friend had been after since he knew what a crush was. He watched their backs retreating, and wondered what his brother could be doing with his best friends crush.

He sighed, he didn't really want to know what his brother was doing with James' woman, he just wanted to know more about his brother full stop.

Things were changing. He could feel it. Sirius told everyone that he was protective of Regulus, which meant people were afraid to go near him, but in reality, they barely spoke. Sirius didn't know a damn thing that went on in his life. It was strange, now that James and Severus were on speaking terms, that we was able to speak to Sirius more. But, he felt like he was relying on James and Severus, which wasn't right. Sirius was his brother, and so he should be making the effort.

Things were changing. He could feel it. He wasn't sure whether it was for better or worse, but things were definitely changing.

**Hmmm… can anyone guess the theme of this chapter?**

**Okay, here goes: This story has taken over itself… there are now so many subplots it's crazy. I plan on keeping it going, but I want you know there will be a LOT of chapters, and I may not finish it till I'm about 30. XD Okay, but the point is. I plan to address points which I feel are important to this story.**

**1. Peter's reasons for joining the Death-eaters.**

**2. Lily and Petunia's relationship.**

**3. Regulus and Sirius' relationship.**

**4. Remus' relationship with his friends. **

**This whole story is about how the human race have to rely on each other. So, I hope I can rely on you to review! XD**

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 19 - Taboo

"You're a werewolf!"

James, taken off guard as he entered Severus' work room, slammed the door shut and glared at his new found… acquaintance.

"I AM NOT!" Severus rolled his eyes.

"You are now." he said, leading James to the sofa and sitting him down. "This is a role-play exercise. You say you're knowledgeable about werewolves? Prove it." James shrugged, getting comfy.

"For the potion?" he asked. Severus nodded.

"Now, given that it's about three hours before the moon is fully… full…" Sev made a face at his lack of vocabulary which made James have to hold back a giggle, and carried on, "What exactly would you be doing?"

James mulled over the question slightly, thinking of Remus hours before the full moon.

"I'd probably be curled up in bed moaning at my friends to bring me chocolate."

Severus spared James a 'what the fuck?' look, before dragging out a book, flipping through it's contents, and deciding on his next question. Obviously the werewolves _he _knew didn't get cravings for chocolate. James guessed that was just a Moony thing.

"You choose a mate… how long on average would you stay with them?"

"Forever you dimwit. Everyone knows that." Was James' instant response. Severus glared at him.

"I know." he replied. "I was simply testing that someone of your less then desirable mind knew something so simple."

James chose not to argue.

"Moving on." he prompted, and Severus returned to his book, eyes scanning the pages quickly for something to quiz James on. He read and read, and eventually decided to close the book.

"We'll continue this throughout the session… go to the greenhouses and find a large Mandrake."

"You want me to bring it to you?"

"_Yes _I want you to bring it to me, what do you _think_ I was telling you to do?"

James shrugged, blushing at looking like an idiot in front of Severus, who he found the unsettling need to impress, and quickly exited the boys lair again.

When he returned, Severus was standing over one of his three cauldrons. It was the far right one, and James recognised it as the one Sev was always concentrating over when talking about the Wolfs Bane potion. It _did _make James wonder how dedicated Severus was to the potion, and how long he'd been working on it.

James would get too stressed and give up on a potion if it took him any longer then an hour, but Sev had been working on the same potion for months.

"Given the situation that I was weak, defenceless, and bloodied, what would you do?" Severus asked as James entered the room and placed the retrieved Mandrake on the arm of the sofa. He shrugged at the question.

"I'd probably jump your bones." he replied, before clapping a hand over his mouth in complete embarrassment and quickly averting his gaze from Severus' questioning eyes. Of course Sev had been asking if James was a _werewolf_, and even if he had meant to ask what James' reaction would be, you don't just tell a guy you'd go ahead and jump him. At least, not so untowardly you don't. And especially not if the person you willingly admitted to wanting to jump was the greasy git you swore you hated for four years. He coughed, trying desperately to think of something to say. "What I meant is… as a werewolf… I'd… devour you?"

"You'd _devour _me?" Severus asked, a hint of wariness in his voice. James blushed at how that could be taken, and tried again.

"That is to say… I'd… eat you up?"

"Eat me up?" Severus repeated, seeming more and more afraid of what James might be implying. James couldn't think a good way to say it without it coming out… well… dodgy.

"Yes." he eventually agreed. "Like… as a werewolf… I would… attack you?"

Severus seemed to find this a reasonable answer, at last, and returned to his work, nodding.

"I see… You can probably leave."

James nodded, swallowing stiffly and quickly exiting the room, trying not to think that the sexual tension in there was so thick he was glad he was leaving. Really, there was no way there could be sexual tension between himself and Severus. It had been a stupid slip of the tongue when he'd said 'jump your bones', he'd obviously been subconsciously thinking about lily.

Admittedly, he was little bit of a kinky pervert, and yes those… situations Severus had put himself in had been somewhat of a turn on. Sue him, he knew he wasn't the only one who had the odd sexual fantasy involving a little bit of blood. In fact, he was fairly certain Sirius had them on a regular basis… but the point was he _hadn't_ been turned on by Sev, no way! It was simply those… he gulped… set of conditions that Severus had mentioned… that had affected him like that. Hey, if Lily had talked like that he probably would have jumped her there and then.

He felt a little bit better about the whole ordeal as he strode down the corridor. So he'd had a slight slip of the tongue, and Severus had _kinda_ banished him from helping out for a little bit… he smiled a slightly rueful smile. He had absolutely no idea what was going on in his life anymore. If you had told him before the summer had begun that in a few months time he'd be friendly with Snape and wondering down a corridor debating whether he was turned on by the other male, or not… he'd have punched you in the face and told you not to insinuate he was gay. Now though… he'd still do the same, but on the inside he'd be a total mess trying to figure out what on _Earth_ went wrong.

You know… other then getting terminally ill.

"My little doe!" was all James heard before he was enveloped in a manly hug. "What makes you so… thinky Love-Bum?"

James grimaced at Sirius' worsening pet names.

"I'm a stag… and what's 'thinky' supposed to mean?" he asked, trying to break-out of Sirius' strong hold. Sirius, however, was having none of it, and pulled him closer, before swinging him round.

"Oh Twinklepops!" he sang, "You're all broody! I can't bear to see you so depressed Babycakes!" James eventually managed to break free of the hold and glared at his friend, and the other people who were ogling them curiously. Really, Sirius was such an extrovert.

"Stop with those infuriating nicknames!" he demanded, hand on hips, "And I'm not broody!" he protested. Of course, his moment of girliness had to be caught by the love of his life, Lily, as she walked by into the entrance hall.

"What's going on?" she asked, and James removed his hands from his hips, and ran one of them through his hair.

"Nothing much…" he said as nonchalantly as he could. Sirius grinned at her.

"James is broody." he explained.

"I AM NOT!" screamed James, losing all semblance of cool. Lily rolled her eyes, nodded at Sirius and went on her way.

"Bye Lily!" Sirius called after her, and she stuck a hand in the air, waving. James rounded on Sirius, playfully punching him in the arm.

"How am I supposed to get her to go out with me if you won't let me be cool around her?" he moaned, "And since when have you two been so friendly anyway?" he asked. Sirius shrugged.

"But Giggle-bottom!" he whined loudly, making James flinch and cast nervous glances around the hall. "Since you've been so obsessed with Snape she looked so _lonely _without you constantly harassing her! I had to comfort her since you certainly weren't!"

Sirius went on ranting without realising James' sudden quietness. He hadn't… he hadn't really been so caught up in this whole thing with Sev that he forgot about going after Lily… right? That was… impossible. Lily was… well, Lily was perfect. She was pretty, and smart, and feisty. She cared about others, and had lots of friends. She was the completely opposite of Severus.

Severus was a greasy haired, hooked nosed prat most of the time… he got average scores in everything but Potions and DADA, he was reserved and cold, and he spent all his time with his one friend… who was two years younger then him.

There was no way James would _ever _chose Severus over Lily. Never.

Sirius had stopped his rant and was looking a little worriedly at his friend. James finally realised this and bit his lip.

"I… I haven't been _obsessing _over Severus."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You just called his by his first name!" he accused. "And you still continue to tell me that nothing's going on here? I'm not _stupid_ James!"

"I never said you were!" James protested.

"Come on James! You can't really be thinking about being like… _friends_ with that git!?"

"He's given me no reason not to." Stated James, glaring. Sirius, for a moment, seemed crestfallen, then laughed.

"I can't believe this…" he breathed out. "James Potter and Severus Snape? Best buddies?" he asked thin air, since he wasn't looking at James.

"I never said best friends Sirius." James tried to interject, but Sirius wasn't really paying him much attention. He was too busy laughing at the ludicrousness of the idea. "Sirius… I only said he didn't give me a reason not to be friends… not that we were."

"No no no!" Sirius continued on sarcastically, "Makes _perfect_ sense! He bosses you around and tries to embarrass you, _perfect_ excuse to get all buddy!" he ranted, making James blush. Right… when he put it like that it _did _seem a little stupid. But Severus had barely given any orders recently, and after all the Marauders had done to him, it made sense that he'd want a little revenge.

"Sirius-" he tried to shed some light on the situation for his friend, but Sirius cut him off before he even had a chance.

"In fact! I should go find someone to boss _me _about and embarrass me! What are you, masochistic?"

James glared.

"I'm not… I-"

"You're not masochistic, you don't wanna be his friend but you're happy to spend all you're time with him, call him by his first name, forget the love of your life and turn on your _real_ friends for him. Fuck James, stop with the bullshit!" Sirius was shouting by this point, and they were beginning to draw a crowed. James sighed, trying to keep his cool despite the fact he could feel his anger boiling. "That boy is a _threat _James! A _threat_ to your life, our friendship, _everything_! He'd be better off dead!" Sirius screamed. James felt his anger bubbling over. Now Sirius was just saying ridiculous, malicious things.

"Don't say that!" he scolded. But Sirius continued to carry on.

"I'll say what I fucking want you git!" he shouted, "I have right of speech and I'm fed up of this! That greasy, hooked nose twat has to go!"

"What do you plan to do? Feed him to the wolves?"

Both James and Sirius gasped simultaneously, both wide-eyed in horror at what James had just suggested. Although he'd meant it sarcastically, he had still said it. The biggest taboo amongst the Marauders. The biggest betrayal any one of them could make.

"Fuck James." said Sirius under his breath. "I don't even know who you are anymore."


	20. Chapter 20

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this. XD**

Chapter 20 - Looking for a Stray Cat

Staying in the 5th year boys dormitory that night was like trying to sleep in a morgue, for all the tense coldness running around the room. Sirius and Pete (who had been in the crowd when Sirius and James had fought), were refusing to look at James, let alone talk to him. Remus had tried time and again to find out what exactly was making his best friends so distant, but every time the sandy-haired boy tried to talk to James, the Quidditch player would feel so ashamed about what he had said, and refused to talk back; opting instead to try and suffocate himself with his pillow.

"I'm really fed up of this." Remus finally stated, after being ignored once again. He stood, cast one more annoyed glance at his fellow dorm-mates, and left the room. He pounded down the stairs in a little bit of a strop, wondering if he should have left the three (obviously pissed off) boys in the room on their own. There wouldn't be a fight would there? Certainly, whatever spat they'd had, they would actually physically fight over it. They were more mature then that… right?

Remus snorted to himself in amusement. Bullshit were his friends more mature then that. But hey, if they wanted to bust themselves up over something which was probably mediocre, and immature, then fine. Let them. It didn't have to effect Remus.

He held his head high as he strode through the common room and right out the portrait hole. He still had almost an hour until curfew. Granted, by this time most people were generally in their dorms or common rooms, but there was no rule stating he couldn't go out for a walk. Besides, with his prefect status he was allowed a little leeway with some rules. Like the curfew rule. Prefects were sensible after all, if they were out after curfew, they usually had a reason.

He dawdled down the corridors, pondering on the unusual behaviour of his friends, when he bumped (quite literally), into a small boy wearing Slytherin colours. His hair was a little longer then was the norm, his eyes were large and grey, his uniform was pristine and fit him perfectly, as if it had been modelled to fit him. This was Regulus Black.

"Oh, hi." The sandy-haired teen said, surprised at finding the younger black so far up the castle at that time of night. Although, from anecdotes he remembered from Sirius and James, it may not be a completely uncommon occurrence for the young Slytherin. Out of the four Marauders, Remus was probably the one who had the least contact with Regulus. "Regulus right?" he added, just to make sure he was right, although he was fairly certain he was. The boy nodded, averting his gaze. It seemed like Regulus was shy, completely unlike his brother.

"Erm… I was looking… for my cat." he added in explanation, and Remus got the impression he thought he was being told off; Remus being a prefect and all.

"Oh, I didn't know you have a cat." the werewolf said conversationally, then figured he should probably exert some sort of authority. "You better find it before curfew."

The boy nodded, but Remus could see the crest-fallen expression on his face. Perhaps Remus shouldn't have said that.

"I'm sure even if you don't, it'll come back right? Cat's are good at finding their way home."

Regulus nodded.

"Right… I guess."

Remus shifted awkwardly, feeling somewhat guilty for telling the boy he had to find the cat before curfew. Now the boy was obviously worried about the animal, and it was all his fault.

"What's its name?" he asked, resigned and knowing what he'd have to do to quench his guilt. "I'll help you look."

Regulus shook his head forcefully.

"No!" he exclaimed, "There's no need!" he protested. He gave a large grin, and began to speed off down the corridor, but Remus caught his wrist before he got too far.

"Come on." the werewolf said, "I want to help. What's it's name. I promise I wont laugh" he added, slightly teasingly. Regulus gave him a wary look.

"Erm… Tiblets?" he eventually muttered. Remus rose an eyebrow at the (very cute!) name, and tried to stop his mouth from twitching into a laugh.

"Tiblets then." he repeated, before matching stride with the younger boy. They walked in silence for a moment. Remus searching the are for Tiblets, and Regulus feeling awkward. "What type of Cat is she?" Remus asked eventually.

"He." corrected Regulus, making Remus' mouth make another twitch towards a laugh. "He's… err… dark haired." the younger boy supplied. Remus nodded slightly. The silence came back.

They walked down corridor after corridor in silence, and there was no sign of a dark-haired cat, until eventually Remus stopped in front of the younger Black.

"Are you leading me on a wild goose chase?" he asked bluntly, "It feels like we've searched the whole castle!"

They were at the top of the great staircase that overlooked the entrance hall, and Remus sat down heavily on the top step. Regulus soon followed him, looking caught out.

"There isn't a cat." he admitted. Remus shot him a slightly weary look.

"Then why did you tell me there was?"

Regulus blushed.

"I guess… I needed an excuse so you didn't send me back to the dungeons."

Remus snorted.

"Why would I? Curfew isn't until three more minutes… so you really should be getting back to you common room." he said, checking his watch. Regulus nodded stiffly, not making any move to get up from his seat next to Remus.

"I wanted to talk to Sirius." he stated, looking ahead at the Hogwarts crest hanging above the large wooden doors that lead to the grounds. Remus shot him a look.

"Why didn't you say so?" he asked, "He probably could have done with someone to talk to." he added a little bitterly. Regulus let his eyes swivel to the boy sitting next to him, and saw that Remus was looking angrily at the same crest he'd just been staring at. He made noise in the back of his throat which showed that he'd heard the teen, but made no more comment. He turned his attention back to the crest. Remus clicked his tongue.

"You know, those boys are stupid." he eventually stated, making Regulus jump slightly. The boy didn't make a move to go, however, so Remus continued to talk. "They have each other, best friends, and now they're fighting and not even talking. I don't even know why! You'd think with James' condition…" Remus bit his lip, shooting Regulus a worried look.

"James' condition?" Regulus prompted, not looking at Remus at all. The boy brought up his knees and embraced them, still staring ahead. Remus shook his head.

"Don't worry."

"I'm not."

"What you wanted to say to Sirius…" Remus shuffled his feet against the step bellow. "Could it wait until morning? Or did you… want me to take you back up there? I know it's after curfew, but as a prefect I can bend a few rules."

Regulus smiled softly, turning to look at the boy beside him properly.

"I'm sure it can wait." he replied. Remus looked at the younger male for a long time, trying to figure out why something seemed wrong with what he had said. Eventually he stood up, offering a hand to Regulus, who took it gratefully. They stood facing each other for a small moment, then Regulus turned away.

"I'm going this way." he stated, pointing down the stairs, and Remus nodded stiffly, pointing in the other direction.

"I'm… yeah." he trailed off, and Regulus sent him a smile.

"It's been good talking to you… Remus." he said quietly, hurrying off down the great staircase and entering the dungeons through the door on the right. Remus watched him all the way until the door had closed, and then began to make his way up to the Gryffindor tower again, wondering whether James and Sirius had come to blows yet.

- X -

James had his head buried in his pillow, trying to see how long he could cut off his supply to air before he fainted, when he felt a stiff, cold hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head slightly, and turned to the side to see, out of Sirius and Peter, which one was going to start beating him up. He locked eyes with Sirius. Although, instead of looking like he was going to attack James, he simply looked awkward. Said boy averted his gaze, a dusting of pink staining his cheeks.

"Stop… Don't beat yourself up so bad." The boy said, retracting his hand and glaring determinedly at the wall. He hopped lightly from foot to foot, and James sat up in bed, staring at his sheets, feeling even more guilty. "You know… it's not like you actually said _were_wolf." he added, folding his arms. Sirius didn't say sorry first. In fact, Sirius barely said sorry at all. So James could understand why he was acting so… awkward.

"I still said it… I feel like shit." replied James quietly. "I'm a fucking terrible friend."

Sirius rolled his eyes, sitting down on the bed next to James. He awkwardly patted the Quidditch player's back.

"I… You're a good friend." he said, "I baited you into saying that… I guess I'm the crap friend." he added, making James glare heatedly at him.

"Let's not turn this into a 'it's all my fault' fest shall we? You know as well as I do you'd jump off a friggen cliff for Remus" he said, and Sirius smiled slightly.

"I know you'd never… you'd never Do anything to hurt Remus… I'm sorry." he broke off, looking away. "About Snape… and all that."

James looked at his lap.

"I'm not… I meant everything I said about him."

Sirius nodded.

"I know." He shifted on the bed, as if he couldn't get comfortable. "I'll… I'll make an effort to stop being a dick to him."

James gave a short snort of amusement.

"That'd be something I'd pay to see."

Sirius laughed too.

"Bet you five galleons I can be nice to him for like… a whole week!" he challenged, and James rose an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You're on!" he said, quickly taking his friends hand and shaking it. Sirius, who was grinning, let his face fall as he found his hand being shaken. He looked down at the two hands clasped together.

"What?"

"I said you're on!" James grinned, "And we shook. Five galleons says you couldn't be nice to Severus Snape for one week!"

Sirius blinked.

"Well then, don't go spending your cash mon amour, because I can be very nice when I want to be."

James grinned. Sirius could be a prick sometimes, but he wasn't just nice when he wanted to be, he was genuinely a nice person. Besides, James could be a prick sometimes too. They all could. He was just glad he and Sirius were talking again. They never could stay mad at each other for long.

***Hugs Sirius* Oh, everyone turned against him in the last Chapter… And I do plan to explain why he got so angry and James… and no, from now on he's not gunna be all snappy-happy with Severus, Sirius and Severus' relationship just doesn't work like that. XD But please, try to be nice to him, he's having to adjust really quickly, and he's not a bad person. ^^**

**Thanks for reading, please review! XD**

**~Od23**


	21. Chapter 21

**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 21 - Obvious Lack of Sanity

"Now remember. You have to be nice."

"I know already. Stop getting on at me."

"I'm not getting on at you!"

"You're so getting on at me!"

"Sirius!"

"James!"

"Both of you shut up."

The two bickering marauders turned to see a under-the-weather looking Moony. The werewolf sent them a glare.

Although the sandy-haired boy had been incredibly surprised to find that Sirius was going to make an effort to be nicer to Snape, he severely doubted it would get anywhere. Not only that, but James and Sirius were bickering even more the usual. A result of their little bet. Luckily, it was nothing major, and they hadn't fallen out yet; it was simply immature arguing.

"Sorry Remus." replied James, folding his arms. Sirius muttered something which sounded like an apology, and it was good enough for Remus. When it came to Sirius Black it was the best he was going to get anyway. Besides, they shouldn't really be apologising to him; but to each other.

"Whatever" the werewolf returned, "Snape alert." he added, nodding over their shoulders to where Severus was coming out of the dungeons, Regulus in toe. Remus knew that he'd really only noticed at all because of Regulus. Ever since their late-night wonder together the other night, it seemed like the Slytherin boy was everywhere. Round every corner. Remus had never noticed how the boy always seemed to be close to their group, even when Hogwarts was such a big place.

He shook off the thought as Sirius made his way over to Snape. James was stood, also watching their friend, with a completely horrified look on his face. Gods, what _would_ Sirius do to be 'nice' to Snape?

"Hey Sniv… Snape." the messy haired Gryffindor said, making James and Remus share a quick smile. Severus, however, looked rather scared.

"What do you want Black?" He asked. Sirius, for his part, wasn't in any way deterred by Severus' harsh tone. He smiled, although James was certain it was probably the most forced thing he'd done so far, and shuffled his feet, dipping his gaze in what could only be described as a shy way. Remus and James both felt their mouths drop open slightly, Sirius really was a master of manipulation.

"You see…" Sirius said, a little quieter now. He clapped him hands behind his back and looked up at Snape through his lashes, despite being taller then the Slytherin. He was completely oblivious to the strange looks he was receiving from everyone around him. Including his friends, brother, and the person he was talking to; Snape. He swung his body very slightly, looking for all the world the picture of childish innocence. "Pete's off sick today, and Remy and James are sooo gunna pair together in potions today. And I don't wanna be left alone, so…" he trailed off, looking up hopefully to the long-haired Boy.

Severus looked like the was going to throw-up, or hit something. He certainly looked incredibly confused.

"Why exactly are you telling me this Black?"

It was obvious, from Remus' point of view, that Sirius was losing patience with they nice guy act. He acted shy and vulnerable, waiting for Severus to act the hero and offer to be his partner, but it wasn't working. Now the boy would have to change tactics, even though in all likeliness it was more liable that Sirius would throw a strop and end up owing James 5 Galleons.

Remus was proved wrong, however, when Sirius simply sighed and amped up his 'innocent' act even more. If that was even possible.

"Well, I was thinking…" the boy said, licking his lower lip a little. "Would you be my partner today?"

James felt himself clench his fist at his side, although he wasn't entirely sure why he was so angry. He gave a shaky smile when Severus sent him a 'what is he on about look', it seemed Sev was not so easily manipulated as Sirius might have thought. He gave a very small shrug, so no one but Sev would notice, and the boy turned back to Sirius.

"I don't care." he said, before striding away.

Sirius returned to Remus and James, looking smug.

"See, I was nice." he said triumphantly.

"Fuck nice." James mumbled in reply. Sirius gave him a searching look. He had obviously heard James' little mumble.

"Which is to say?" he asked defensively. James glared lightly at him.

"You're supposed to be nice to him, not freaking seduce him." he growled, "That went _way_ past nice! _THAT _Sirius, that was flirting."

Sirius glared right back.

"Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't flirt with that grease-ball. I'm just flirty by nature."

James relented slightly at this comment, because really, it was the truth, Sirius was a natural flirt, he wasn't really doing anything wrong. Besides, James didn't have a right to be angry, what claim did he have over Severus anyway?

He blushed when he realised what he was debating. He knew he had no claim over the Slytherin, but despite all odds, he _wanted _to have a claim over the Slytherin.

"I guess you're right, sorry…" he mumbled, looking away from Sirius' prying eyes. The long-haired Gryffindor grinned at the Quidditch player.

"Whatever James." he said, "Just keep in mind that Jealously doesn't become you."

It took James a little while to figure out what Sirius meant, and when he did, he couldn't quite find a come-back to retaliate with. At least, not one that didn't give away the fact that yes, he was actually incredibly jealous.

- X -

"Hooch is gunna fry your ass with a well placed heating spell if you don't get to her flying lesson." The boy stopped his words, revelling in the first years slightly scared expressions. After all, it wasn't every day he took time out of his busy schedule to offer advice. "Now." he added, smirking as the small group rushed off to the grounds, in search of Madam Hooch.

"And I'm gunna fry your ass with a well placed _explosion_ spell if you don't stop picking on first years and get to potions." the fiery red head stopped, smirking as well. "Now."

Sirius ran a hand through his locks (something he'd recently picked up from James, apparently it was something about Lily that made boys want to play with their hair). He grinned widely.

"If I go to potions I'm likely to get my balls twisted rather painfully by a very jealous James." he argued. "And although it is a very tough decision Lily-Pookums, I value my balls more then my ass."

Lily decided not to question Sirius' obvious lack of _sanity_ and rose an eyebrow to question something else instead. She was Lily Evans after all, she had to question something.

"Why is James jealous and why would he…" She trailed off, thinking about being as blunt as Sirius had been, but deciding to keep her dignity and composure as a lady. Sirius' grin simply grew.

"Well you see, _amante__(1)_, There is someone in our potions class of which I have promised my partnership, and Jamie-poo isn't very happy about that arrangement." Lily was having a hard time understanding Sirius' cooing, and simply shook her head wearily, wishing she hadn't asked. "That being said" Sirius continued, "Why aren't _you_ in our wonderful and exciting class which is Potions."

Lily, realising she'd effectively put herself in the metaphorical firing line of being caught out, blushed lightly and averted her gaze.

"I'm a prefect, I have duties." she rambled off the excuse, not looking Sirius in the eye, and shuffling the small white envelope which was the real reason she was out of class, behind her back. The messy haired boy, however, was not buying it even for a second.

"What's that you have there Sugarpops?" he teased, before swiping the envelope out of her grasp, and holding it high, scanning it.

"Give it back!" Lily instantly screamed, flailing for it. Sirius simply shifted his body so that she couldn't reach it. Oh, the joys of being tall. He read the cursive writing with glee, but his eyes dropped, not being able to find anything that would embarrass the red-head. It was simply her name. Perhaps if he were to open the envelope, he thought, running his hand along the edge to find that it had already been opened.

"Sirius, don't." Lily pleaded, glaring heatedly at him. Sirius spared her a considering look, wondering why she was so upset. It wasn't as if he'd actually done anything to hurt her.

"A love note?" he guessed, and Lily didn't even blush; instead opting to shake her head.

"It's a letter from my parents." she explained quietly. Sirius blinked and handed the letter back. Lily gave him a confused look. She'd thought his teasing would last much longer then that.

"That's not embarrassing at all." Sirius explained his actions. "I wish I got letters from my parents." he added as an afterthought, scuffing his foot slightly. Lily bit her lip, knowing this was a sensitive subject.

"I thought you didn't like your parents." she voiced, leaning against a nearby wall. Sirius felt himself heat up slightly, and scuffed his feet more in embarrassment. He hated doing all this girly shit like talking about his _feelings_ and stuff. But… he found it hard to lie to Lily, when she was almost nothing but open with him. Even if he was a jerk to her, she kept coming back. She needed the support he gave, and he needed the feeling of being useful to someone.

"You're sister." he stated, motioning the letter. "Did she write?"

Lily shook her head.

It had been strange, when Lily and Sirius had simply started talking all of a sudden. James had seemed distracted lately, and being Sirius' best friend, him being distracted meant that Sirius had little to do. While Peter and Remus were all good and dandy… Remus spent a lot of time studying and Peter also seemed to be spending a lot of time out of the company of the marauders. It made sense that Sirius had no choice but to fall back on someone else. Lily was simply there to catch him when he fell. And in return, Sirius had held her back, keeping her safe from things she was obsessing over. Her parents, Petunia, school work… All metaphorically of course.

Sirius had realised that she feared the change that was coming. And she had realised that he feared exactly the same thing. It was their common ground. But that realisation had come what felt like years ago, even though in reality it was all but a couple of weeks ago. During that time, meetings like this one had become common to them. The truth about Lily's failing relationship with her sister had come out, and about her friendship with Severus, which was failing now as well. But, Sirius had said little about his own life; opting to comfort Lily.

"Why don't _you_ write to _her_." Sirius suggested, leaning against the wall next to her. "Sometimes, even if it's not your fault, it's best to say sorry." he added, and Lily faintly wondered when he'd grown up and realised that truth. The boy grinned. "Especially if your sisters stubborn."

Lily laughed lightly.

"She's very stubborn." She agreed. They fell into a small silence, until Lily said. "Why don't you write to your parents?"

Sirius stiffened.

"It's not really that easy." he replied.

"How can you tell me to be the first to say sorry, if you wont follow your own advice?" Lily challenged. Sirius sighed, sending her a guilty look.

"Because It's not the same." he counteracted. "It's hard to explain."

**1. Amante is the Spanish word for Lover. Some Latino areas use it as a word for someone who has affairs with married people, but it literally just translates to 'lover'. J**

** Abi: If you make one joke about the 'oh the joys of being tall' line, and any reflection to my own height, I shall hunt you down and kick your ass! ~Love ya! XD**

** That being said, sorry it took me so long to update and THANK GOD IT'S OVER. I had NO inspiration for whom I should focus on in this chapter. And I wanted there to be more Snape… but Sev just didn't wanna co-operate. XD But, I'm fairly certain there shall be lots of Severus and James stuff going on next chapter. The whole chap should be just them, and then I'll write some more about Pete in the chapter after that. XD**

** So, that's the plan for the next couple of chapters. Please review! ^^**


	22. Chapter 22

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 22 - Confessions

**Beware of the Sap.**

Although it had become a normality that every week James would find himself in a position of intense heat, where he'd feel as if he was dying; the feeling was not one he could get used to. This time, however, he'd found himself lying against the stone cold floor of the dungeons when he awoke in the heat. He opened his eyes slowly, and painfully, to find Severus hovering over him.

If he'd had the energy to yell and curse, he would have done.

"Calm down." Severus ordered, and James immediately calmed, although he couldn't completely, given that he felt as if he was dying. Severus shoved a small container of the potion James recognised as the miracle working pain killer towards him, and James swallowed it gratefully, instantly feeling the relief.

He rolled onto his side, then sat up gingerly. The heat may have subsided, but he'd obviously slept on the floor the night before, and his muscles and joints were protesting against the treatment. Severus, on the other hand, seemed incredibly relaxed and at home. After all, this was where he'd been spending almost every night since he'd got back to school.

James couldn't quite remember why he'd ended up staying the night at Severus' and was hoping to get some information out of the boy using his clever techniques, when the Slytherin spoke.

"If you're wondering how you came to be here, then I'll give you permission to look in my pensive. You were rather intoxicated last night, and I don't have the energy to explain to you the events that lead to you staying here." James felt the heat in his cheeks begin to rise, and looked away from the boy. No wonder his entire body was sore, and he couldn't remember. Had he really allowed himself to get drunk in front of Severus? What if he'd done something really embarrassing? "It's over there." carried on Severus, pointing to a small brown bowl with silvery liquid swirling inside. James, who had never actually seen a pensive before, gazed at it in wonder.

"How come you have one?" he asked. Pensives were rare after all. James knew the headmaster had one, but that was it. Severus shrugged in a non-committal way.

"This one doesn't hold many memories. It was cheap." James nodded, knowing full well the meaning of 'cheap'. His own parents had become practically bankrupt after spending their inheritance lavishly. They were only now getting back on there feet again and trying to build up what was once a fortune.

He stared longingly at the Pensive, wondering how many memories of Sev's were trapped inside it, but eventually shook his head.

"I don't really want to know what happened last night." he said, giving Severus a small smile. "I know I can get really stupid when I'm drunk." he added, almost apologetically. Snape only nodded stiffly, unsure as to what to do next.

"I do want to know one thing though…" James continued, as if shy all of a sudden, he concentrated his gaze to the ground. He fiddling with his thumbs and studied how the floor in the dungeons was in no way even. Eventually, he looked up so he has eye contact with a rather impatient looking Slytherin. "Did I… um… say anything?" he asked hesitantly. Severus sighed.

"You said a lot of things." He replied, massaging his temples with his thumb and forefinger of both hands. "None of which stand out in anyway."

James breathed a sigh of relief. At least he hadn't done anything ridiculous; or at least, not something Severus could remember.

"Why would I get drunk anyway?" he asked, standing and rubbing his back with a small wince. He walked over to the plain back sofa and sat down heavily.

"I thought you only wanted to know one thing." Stated Severus. He walked over to his cauldrons and gave one of them three stirs before standing next to one of the armchairs and surveying James with his dark eyes. The boy in question blushed lightly, feeling almost as if he was being scolded.

"Well, I'm just curious." he spat, glaring at the wall angrily. Why was it Severus always made him feel on edge? What was it about the boy that made him feel as if he had to impress him. He looked up in time to see Sev smirking at him.

He knew.

The bloody bastard _knew_ that James was embarrassed, no; self-conscious around him. He knew and was using it to his advantage. _Of course_, James thought, mentally slapping himself. Severus wasn't being civil for the sake of being civil, he was doing it because it caused James more discomfort. That was all Severus ever cared about; James had been deluding himself into thinking they could be friends, and Severus had been laughing at him all along.

"James?"

James looked away, annoyed with himself.

"James, what on earth?" Severus continued. "You're a million miles away…" he added, once he realised James was not going to respond. He was too wrapped up in his little world.

The Gryffindor clenched his fists around the material of his trousers, and stood up slowly and deliberately. He shot the Slytherin a hurt look.

"Was there anything you wanted me to do today?" he asked, a hint of resentment in his voice, trying to stop anger flowing through him. Was he over-dramatising and over-reacting? Yes. But in truth, he was affected by the man stood in front of him; and while it was hard to admit that, but it was truth.

"As in, an order?" Severus clarified.

"Yes as in a bloody order you fucking twat!" James snapped, then clamped a hand over his mouth in realisation of what he'd just shouted. Severus rose an eyebrow, seeming not affected in the slightest by James' outburst; merely curious.

"No." was his reply. James bit his lip, shaking in anger. He was angry with Snape and the idea that the Slytherin was inwardly laughing at him, but mainly angry at himself for being so weak and losing control.

"Then I'll go." James stated, turning to leave. But Severus caught his wrist before he could even take a step.

"You don't wanna know why you got drunk?" The boy asked, refusing to look at the Gryffindor, whose wrist he held. James make a clicking noise with his tongue, and didn't answer. Severus rolled his eyes. "Look, I don't know why you're suddenly so angry, but you don't have to take it out on me."

"Because you don't _care_!" James shouted, breaking his arm away from the Slytherin's hold. He stood, shaking; feeling small and upset, in front of the taller boy. "I'm just fed up of trying to be nice to someone who only wants to see as a bully." he clenched his fists, let them loose, then clenched them again. "Maybe I was a bully to you. But I'm trying to change that, and I can't do that if all you ever wanna do is humiliate me."

Severus winced, but said nothing. In truth, humiliating James still felt like a tempting option. The boy had screwed him over for so long, it was only natural that he'd want revenge. But he'd stopped that, or he'd thought he had, when they'd made this form of truce. Did James feel like he was still being humiliated? Severus hadn't ordered him to do anything in weeks, how could James still feel taken advantage of? He had no other power over James then this contract, which he wasn't paying any mind too, how could James feel humiliated? He looked at the boy in front of him, looking impossibly frail. The stress of Tractamosa was taking it's toll; he'd become skinnier and paler, no longer the Quidditch star and heart throb everyone adored. In his angry state, combined with the hang-over, he was pitiful to watch.

"How do I humiliate you?" he asked, straight forward and to the point as always; Severus barely knew any other way. James glared at him, though it had little effect.

"I'm so fed up of your shit." he replied, "You fucking know that every little move you make has me on edge."

"How so?" Severus asked, still looking for clarification, and not understanding what James meant by what he said.

"Don't make me say it." James pleaded, turning his sad eyes to the stone cold floor. He gulped, and licked his lips, which suddenly felt incredibly dry. "Everything you do makes me nervous. Every time you speak, or move… or don't speak, and don't move. All of it, makes my stomach flip. What is it about you? It's crazy, but I want to know everything about you. I wanna find out what it is that makes me so scared to be around you." He stopped, and bowed his head so his fringe fell down and there was no way of Severus seeing his eyes.

"James…" he whispered, as if should he raise his voice any louder the boy in front of him might very well break.

"It's not that I'm scared that you'll not make the Elixir for me anymore either." James continued, ignoring the fact that Severus was even there. If he didn't say this now he might never get the chance again. He carried on with a short laugh, "It's like I'm scared in a good way. Like when you're on a roller coaster ride, or you watch a horror movie. You think you're about to die if you spend one more second on the ride, but you can't bring yourself to scream for it to stop, because deep down you're having fun." He looked up, and Severus could see the unshed tears.

"James." he said again, still in a whisper. He took a step forward, but James shook his head forcefully, and he stopped.

"I'm not done yet." He said, averting his eyes again, because looking at Severus' cold eyes was a little too much. "I know it's got to be weird to have someone tell you all this. I feel like I'm making some sort of confession, like 'I love you' or something." He broke off with a gasp, and Severus shifted uncomfortably. "That is to say… I don't like the idea of you knowing all this, and using it to embarrass me more. I know I probably deserve it but… But it's not fair to think that I like you so much, and all you're doing is taking the piss."

Severus shifted again.

"I'm not taking the piss." he said at length. James licked his lips again.

"It's fine. I get it. I'll go." he said, saying the words in a way that suggested they were difficult to say and he really didn't 'get it' and all he wanted was for someone to come along and clear it all up for him. Something in Severus stirred, and he had the distinct impression that he should be the one making sure James could understand everything.

"James-" he began, but said boy cut him off before he could say much.

"Stop it." He said, "I don't wanna hear this. You don't have to pity me. I told you what I have to say so just let me leave with some dignity left!"

Severus thought better of saying anything more, and watched with a heavy heart as the boy made his way out of the dungeon. He was walking slowly, probably due to the massive strain his body was taking on. With Tractamosa things were not going to be easy, and James should not have started drinking the night before. He shook his head, remembering.

James had come to him, already drunk, probably from some sort of party his Marauder friends had thrown (they were rumoured to be fantastic, but Severus himself had never been invited to one). Severus had first scolded him for underage drinking, but couldn't deny that James had looked so weak, he'd wanted the chance to savour a moment when the Gryffindor was vulnerable. Call it sick, but it was Severus' own revenge. James was a depressive drunk, and had put himself into the situation anyway. Severus had just taken advantage of it, and listened when James slurred non-sense about everything under the sun. While he and James had called a truce, there was no denying that Severus was still sore. He had every right to be after four years of relentless bullying. Besides, it wasn't as if he'd done anything to harm James when he was intoxicated. He'd simply made sure to store the memory of the boy when he was in his most vulnerable state. Just to make him feel better on rainy days; as it were. Afterwards he'd allowed James to stay in his room, as there was no way he was helping the Gryffindor all the way back up to Gryffindor tower.

Now, though, he realised that he had not seen James in his most vulnerable state at all. Sure, while drunk he was depressed and down right pitiful, but when telling someone his feeling; while being so open and honest. Is that not _everyone's _most vulnerable state? When someone puts everything on the line to tell the truth, and try to convey how they feel, there is always that fear of rejection and humiliation. _That_ was James' most vulnerable state. But Severus wouldn't save the memory in his pensive for a rainy day, because none of what he'd just witnessed had made him feel in the least bit happy. Seeing James so weak and scared, with unshed tears shining bright in his eyes, had had almost the opposite effect.

Severus sighed heavily, turning back to his cauldrons, which continued to bubble away diligently as the dramatics played out in front of them. He didn't understand what James thought he was confessing, or even what he was trying to say. How could he have such a change of heart from 'I hate you' to 'I like you so much', in just a matter of months? How could Severus fix the situation? How could he make James smile again?

**Oh Lord, the utter sappiness of this chapter has me confused. Ha ha! In any case, James finally went ahead and confessed without confessing. Jeez, these guys like to beat around the bush huh? Just jump in the bush and get to the steamy stuff! *ahem***

**In any case, this will probably be over 30 chapters, but it's _beginning _to draw itself into an end. So that means it'll be about 20 more chapters. XD **

**Okay, I actually don't know how many more chapters there will be. But the Snape and James story line is finally heading in the direction I originally intended. As for the other characters, they still need some pushing. ^^**

**Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 23 - Peter with a Plan

While Severus was left alone in his dungeon to wonder what on earth a roller-coaster ride was, James was taking his time getting up to Gryffindor tower. He wanted to talk with the Marauders. He wasn't going to tell them everything, but at the moment it seemed like all he wanted was someone to hug him close and tell him how Severus was an insensitive jerk anyway, and of course he wouldn't understand the feelings James was trying to convey.

Of course, he couldn't completely blame Severus for not understanding his feelings. James barely understood them himself, and in any case, he'd been so nervous his sentence structure had been abysmal. It was no wonder Severus was left confused! He stopped in his tracks on the 4th floor, just outside the Medical Wing. He was starting to sound like Moony, talking about sentence structure and what not. And even if he blamed things, and found excuses, he'd still practically confessed to the boy, and had received almost no reaction.

Should he have stayed? Should he have tried to get Severus to react? Should he have said it more outright? Had he just said 'God, Severus, I think I'm in love with you' what would the reaction be then? Other then, of course, the rejection which was inevitable.

_Besides_, James thought, trying to cheer himself up. Was he really _in love_ with the Slytherin? They were such strong words, and James was known for overreacting to things. It was entirely plausible that James was just incredibly grateful for Severus helping him out in his time of need, and his mind had twisted those feelings into that of 'Love'. It was ludicrous to think that he would actually harbour such feelings for the boy. The boy he'd insisted he'd hated mere months before.

He gave a heart-felt sigh, knowing all that he was saying was just trying to make himself feel better. In reality, even if he did convince himself that he didn't feel anything for Severus, he would still feel it deep down. He sank to his knees in front of the Medical Wing; tired, weak, and confused.

"James?" asked a familiar voice, and he looked up, his head smarting and his vision swimming. Through the haze he could tell it belonged to Pete, who was standing over him; concerned. "Hey mates, what's up?"

James held a hand up for Pete to take, and the boy did, helping his friend to his feet, then helping him walk in the direction of Gryffindor tower. James leant heavily on his friend, thankful for the support. He took in a few deep breaths before he felt like he could form a legible sentence.

"I'm just really tired." he excused, and they found their way all the way up to the portrait hole without many mishaps. The plump lady looked down at them with concern.

"Are you not feeling well dear? Would you like me to send word to Madam Pomfrey?" She asked, fussing in her portrait. James shook his head quickly, but regretted it when it made his headache worse.

"I'm fine." he grounded out, stepping away from Pete, swaying slightly, then giving a large (fake) smile. "Bottle Cap." he recited, and the Lady sighed, swinging forwards. As the entered the common room they could hear her yelling her protests and how she thought that James really should go to the Medical Wing. And while James appreciated that she was only trying to look out for him, he was very happy when the portrait swung closed and he was no longer able to hear her.

He made his way agonizingly slowly up to the dorm he shared with the other Marauders, closely followed by Pete. He breathed a sigh of relief when the room turned out empty. Remus and Sirius were probably already at breakfast, or showering, or something. The point was they weren't there, and that made things easier for James. He really didn't want everyone worrying so much. While on the way up to the tower, he'd only wanted support, with the way he was feeling now, he only wanted to sleep in a comfortable bed.

"Are you okay?" Pete asked hesitantly, as James lowered himself on the bed with a painful groan. James nodded lightly, trying not to upset his aching head, and surveyed the room. It was a mess; covered in bottles of fire-whiskey and other cheap alcohol, not to mention the amount of general rubbish and half-eaten pumpkin pasties. James spotted an unopened box of Bertie's Beans and decided to open it, slipping one into his mouth and thanking his lucky stars he got a normal flavour. Strawberry. "You know, when you didn't come back last night we got a little worried." Pete carried on, sitting down on his own bed, after shifting some rubbish. James snorted in amusement, laying back in a hope to ease his aching joints. He wouldn't be sleeping on a cold dungeon floor again.

"You guys were partying, just like me." he excused himself, staring blankly at the ceiling and wishing he could just fall into a deep sleep where he would forget everything that had happened over the last few months.

"Yeah." agreed his friend. "But you don't usually get so drunk." he added, smirking. James groaned, wondering what stupid thing he'd done last night before going to Snape. He was sure to have the piss taken out of him for it today. He shifted slightly.

"I'm already feeling the effects, you don't have to tell me." he replied, "Besides, it's not like you haven't been going out at all hours of the night." he accused. Pete stiffened.

"Well, it's not like it's a crime." he argued back, and James smiled slightly.

"That's my point exactly." He said, "I wont ask you where you've been going if you don't ask me where I've been going."

Pete seemed to contemplate the deal for a moment, before nodding stiffly. There was a mutual understanding that no more would be said on the subject, and a cold, tense air fell over the room. Pete shifted uncomfortably before standing and leaving the room.

It felt as if James wasn't willing to share anything with him nowadays. None of the Marauders were talking to each other the way they used to. Even things that were really important, like James getting ill, Sirius had to practically force it out of him. Why in the hells would he keep something like that from them? Did he not trust them? It seemed as if they were all going their separate ways.

James was beginning to become closer and closer to Snape through this deal they'd struck up, and it angered Peter that James had gone to that slime ball before even considering going to his friends. Snape may be good at potions, but he was sure the Marauders could learn how to make whatever James needed; then James wouldn't have to lean on that fucking _Slytherin_ anymore.

He came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs leading up to their dorm. Could he be so prejudice against the Slytherins, when he himself was now in regular correspondence with them? He gripped his hands in fists at his sides. Those Slytherins had _said_ that the Marauders would fall. They'd told Pete that the Marauders would break apart and now it was all happening. Had they known about James' condition? Of all the things Pete had told them, he hadn't mentioned it; but he figured somehow they still knew. They seemed to know everything.

They'd come to him at the beginning of the school year, and told him that it was obvious this year would bring the destruction of the Marauders. They'd said that Pete would be abandoned by them in favour of knew friends. If he'd wanted to stop that from happening he should help them with something and in return, they'd work behind the scenes to keep the Marauders from growing apart. He didn't even know what 'something' he was helping with. All Pete seemed to be doing was giving them pointless anecdotes about his time with the Marauders. But Lucius' powers of persuasion were strong, and Pete desperately wanted to keep his friends close. Especially now it was clear that both James and Sirius were associating with different people. James with Snape, and Sirius with Lily.

Pete snapped his fingers in recognition.

If he wanted the Marauders to stay close, he'd need to do it himself. He couldn't rely on Slytherins, they weren't helping! It was obvious anyway; the answer to saving the Marauders. All he had to do was eliminate the competition. In other words; all he had to do was get rid of Lily and Snape.

- X -

"Remus?"

The werewolf turned, blinking in surprise as the younger Black approached him at a run. It was early, and the corridors were deserted except for a few early birds making their tired way towards the Great Hall for breakfast. He himself had not yet been to sleep, which was the only reason he was awake at all at such an ungodly hour. Last nights party had been wild to say the least, and he'd ended up staying awake all night, then the sunlight creeping in through the window made sure he wouldn't drop off.

The youngest child of the Black siblings came to a stop in front of him, and leant over, resting his hands on his knees and gasping for breath. Now that Remus thought about it, Regulus' dorms were in the dungeons, so it didn't really make sense for Regulus to be coming down from the upper floors.

"Are you alright?" he asked, once a small first year had rounded the corner into the Great Hall. It wasn't that he was embarrassed to be with the younger boy, it was simply that being around him made him on edge. Was that odd? It simply felt like there was something about Regulus that he didn't know. Something the boy wasn't telling him; keeping from him. Sure, they weren't really good friends, and Regulus had no obligation to tell him anything, but Remus' sixth sense was tingling. Something about Regulus' constantly panicked and slightly sad expression was beginning to worry the Gryffindor prefect.

"Fine." the younger finally responded, once he'd caught his breath. "I need to tell you something, it's about your friend."

"Which friend?" asked Remus, after all, he had a lot of friends, and the boy was hardly being specific. Regulus gave an exasperated sigh.

"Pettigrew!" he all but shouted, and Remus raised a calm eyebrow.

"Is he okay?" he asked, wondering what Pete had done that would cause the Slytherin any concern. Regulus bounced on the balls of his feet; the left foot, then the right foot, then back to the left. As if he was nervous all of a sudden.

"He's fine, at the moment."

Remus lowered his eyes to peer intensely at the boy. What did he think he was getting at? Was there some sort of threat going on?

"I shouldn't really tell you this." Regulus carried on, fiddling with the hem of his school shirt, and glancing up and down the corridor. "If they find me, they'll…" he trailed off, biting his lip and refusing to look at Remus. The werewolf sighed, also scanning the corridor, before placing a comforting hand on the boys shoulder.

"If 'they' tried anything, they'd have to go through Sirius and I first." he assured, but the younger still did not seem happy. He still continued to fiddle with his clothing. Remus sighed again. "If I ask you yes and no questions, will you answer them? That way, you're not betraying anything, I can say I forced it out of you."

Regulus nodded, hesitantly.

"Has Peter been physically harmed?"

Regulus shook his head.

"Is Peter in danger of being physically harmed?"

Regulus hesitated, then shook his head. Remus' brow furrowed in confusion, then he smiled.

"Is Peter in danger?"

Regulus nodded. Remus almost blurted out 'How?', but remembered he'd have to keep his questions of the yes or no variety in case he scared the kid. He bit the inside of his cheek thoughtfully.

"Are _you_ in danger?"

Regulus nodded, looking away.

"The people endangering you, are they you're friends?"

Regulus shook his head.

"Are they Slytherins?"

Regulus nodded.

"Do you want to come with me?" Remus asked, smiling. "We'll go find Sirius and _I'll_ explain why you're upset. You can stay with him, then I'll go make sure Pete's okay? Yeah?"

Regulus contemplated the idea. Remus was kind, and strong, and wouldn't allow the Slytherin's to get at him… and being with him meant being near Sirius, but… He didn't want his brother to know about the situation. He slowly shook his head. Remus, however, seemed to read his mind.

"We don't need to tell him anything, all I need to say is that you're having a bad day and I said you can hang out with us. You know he'd be happy to see you."

Regulus caught eye contact with the older boy. He seemed so calm and in control all the time. Then, very slowly, he nodded his head.

The two made their way into the Great Hall, where Sirius was already sat scoffing his face, next to Lily. They were completely unaware of the other Gryffindor that had followed them.

Pete clenched his fist by his side. It just seemed like there was one more person on his list he'd have to get rid of, and getting rid of Regulus would not be as easy as getting rid of Snape and Lily. He shrugged. He'd have to put his plan into action soon, and with Snape and Lily, he'd be able to kill two birds with one stone.

***Gasp* WHAT is Pet's plan, eh? Oh, I'm getting so excited. This story is FINALLY on the track I want it to be on! Yes! **

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! ^^ Much Lovin'. **


	24. Chapter 24

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 24 - Damsel in Distress

James awoke at half seven, headache all but gone and aching joints feeling much better. The only pain he seemed to still hold was the one in his heart. As cliché as it sounded. He was dreading having to go back down to Snape's workroom, and face him. How could he face someone after he'd practically confessed and been completely ignored? On the other hand, he really needed the Elixir; he could already feel the heat seeping in, and he had to get down there before he started getting dizzy. He stood, and realised he already was dizzy when he went crashing towards the ground. He felt his head smash against something hard, and loosely thought that it was probably his own bed, then the world blacked out.

- X -

He woke again to intense heat, and found himself in a room which felt like it was on fire. He faintly recognised it, but with his hazy vision, the features of it seemed contorted and scary. He gave a hoarse cry, but found no one there to help him. He tried to move his head at the tapping of something on what he assumed was a nearby window, but found it difficult to move any part of his body. He was completely numb all over, and could only move his eyes, and his right wrist, ever so slightly. He moved that wrist to thump sloppily on the carpeted floor in a hopes of making some noise, and gave another strangled hoarse cry.

A door to his left, the side he had his back to, banged open, but he didn't realise this, and once again tried to make some noise. Strong arms wrapped around him, and he heard someone say;

"Fuck, is he gunna be alright?"

"He'll be fine." was the answer, in a deep resonating voice. He recognised it, but couldn't place it. "Sirius, go get Snape. Now." the boy commanded, and there were footsteps running away. James wanted to cry for Sirius to stay, but at the mention of Snape he calmed. He was lifted off the ground and placed on the bed with care.

It seemed like hours before Snape came crashing through the door, Sirius and Lily in toe. The boy knelt down beside the bed and tipped a flask so the Elixir fell neatly into the boys numb mouth. James used up almost all his strength simply trying to swallow it, but felt the freeze start in his throat, spread round his stomach and stretch right down to his fingers and toes. His heart skipped a beat, then failed to initiate the next, then started up it's rhythmic pace again.

James heard the sighs of relief echo around the room, which now felt incredibly less hot. He heard a woman's voice say;

"What's going on Sirius?"

And there was a tight grip on his hand, before he slipped back into unconsciousness.

- X -

Lily asked Sirius was exactly was going on, and Severus found himself gripping James' hand tightly and reassuringly.

He'd been so scared when it had reached 15 minutes to 8 and there had been no sign of James. He always came 15 minutes before in case he got dizzy and fainted on the way there. It was logical and when James had explained that's why he came so early, Severus remembered feeling a faint sense to pride in James' sensible thinking. As if he was the one that spurred it on.

When it had reached five minutes to, Severus began to really worry, and remember that the night before James had been drinking, which would effect his rate of recovery. He quickly sent an owl to James, without any note, in his panic. He had slammed his hand into a fist on the sofa, and rushed out of his room in search for the boy. He had, however, found Sirius, with Lily, rushing about the dungeons in a frantic panic, shouting out for him. He'd corked some of the Elixir in a container and hastily followed them up to Gryffindor tower, all the while afraid that he might be too late.

So gripping James' hand wasn't entirely to reassure the Gryffindor, but also to reassure himself that James was still there, and breathing, and not burned to a crisp. He stroked his thumb over the boys knuckles, just to reassure himself again. He'd have to ban James from drinking. The worry wasn't good for him.

He sighed, listening in to the conversation Sirius was engaged in with Lily. She was so worried about everyone, even people she said she hated, like James. She was a good girl at heart, but she couldn't quite figure out that Sirius was trying to lead her off track. James' story wasn't his to tell the girl, and he was trying his very hardest not to offend the girl, but at the same time keep James secret and secret. Remus was standing a little off to the side, and Snape could see him fiddling with what looked like a mirror and an old piece of parchment. He was mumbling under his breath, and shooting worried looks towards the door.

It seemed, out of all of the Marauders, James was not the only one with a secret to keep. Snape could figure out that the two other Marauders were getting themselves involved in things they knew little about. He stood roughly.

"Excuse me." he ground out, knowing his manners, before swiftly exiting the room in a flurry of his cloak. He really needed to think about things; but mainly James.

He made his way out of the tower, trying to keep a low profile so he wasn't beaten up by all the Gryffindors crowded in one place, and as he exited via the fat lady's portrait, she heard him shout;

"I hope you realise we'll be changing the password!"

He nodded, waving over his shoulder, and not really caring, considering he had no desire to go back into the Gryffindor common room. He made his way out of sight by going down one of Hogwarts impressive flights of stairs.

James. How was it the boy effected him so easily? As soon as James looked anything less then strong, he looked weak - Severus would even go as far as saying pathetic. In a way, it wasn't annoying. All Severus wanted to do was make sure that James kept strong, that he wasn't exposed or taken advantage of. He seemed so fragile when helpless, and Severus was afraid that the people who were now in charge of looking after him would drop him, and he'd break.

Lupin's strong hold seemed too strong, almost as if he'd crush the boy. Black wasn't paying enough attention, but focusing on Lily, and he'd probably drop him. And Pettigrew… he paused to think. Where was Pettigrew anyway? Should he not be focusing on his ill friend, and not off gallivanting around the castle when James was in need? No; it was obvious, the best person to help James at a time like this was him.

James needed someone who was calm, to keep him calm. He needed someone who was strong to keep him strong. He needed someone who could make the Elixir, and Severus was the only person alive who could do that.

That being said, when James put everything on line, what had he done?

James had exposed his weak side to Severus. He'd shown how vulnerable he really could be, and Severus hadn't known what to do or say. He hadn't been calm, or strong.

_I like you so much_

What was that supposed to mean? How was he supposed to respond to that?

_I'm making some sort of confession, like 'I love you' or something._

He gripped his hands into fists and picked up the ingredient which turned his magic ingredients shelf around. He sank to the floor on the other side of it, leaning against it. There was no way. James was James potter, not some love struck teenage girl. Besides, the boy was in love with Lily Evans, exactly the same person he himself said he loved.

But… When Lily had fallen off the swing at age Five and broken her leg, although he'd truly panicked and thought she was going to die, he'd not felt that god-forsaken fear he'd felt when faced with a panicked Sirius Black, whom for only a moment, truly needed to rely on Severus' resources. He hadn't even felt that normal sick satisfaction when he'd realised Sirius was practically begging him for help, all he'd felt was sheer horror at the thought of a sick and fragile James.

_You can't bring yourself to scream for it to stop, because deep down you're having fun._

Is that really how James felt? Sick, twisted, and scared he'll die, but still willing to keep going because something about this strange and unprecedented relationship was 'fun'? He gave a short, darkly amused laugh. Was James really that much of a masochist? Was _he _really that much of a sadist, that he was considering facing James about this? Would he torture James more? Would James still think that it was 'fun'?

_All you're doing is taking the piss._

Severus sighed. He didn't think he was making fun of James in any form. He'd even said as much when the boy had said all this to him. Shaking, scared and vulnerable, the Gryffindor had found his bravery and continued to speak. What bravery did Severus have? All the time it felt like he was walking on the edge of the cliff, and whatever way the wind was blowing he'd either be pitied and saved, or he'd fall over the edge.

It was ridiculous to think he was even considering some form of relationship with James Potter. It was like walking to his own murder. But deep down, was all of this 'fun'? Had he had fun all this time? Giving James orders, teasing him, watching him squirm, was that fun? He'd certainly been more alive over the last couple of months than since he'd first started Hogwarts. Was it sadistic to think that if he continued to stay with James, if he upped the level of embarrassment to that concerning 'love', then it would be more fun for him? He stood, making his way down the dreary corridor to his workroom. He threw a blanket over the three cauldrons, so their fumes would circle in the cauldrons and keep them simmering nicely. Perhaps it was sadistic, but James had already confessed. He'd practically said 'I'm masochistic', so all he'd be doing is finding a way to compliment James, right?

He smirked. Besides, he still wasn't done with his revenge.

- X -

"James?" The boy awoke, groaning, and wondering how many times one person could wake up in one day. The last time he'd opened his eyes was all but a distant blur, and the room was fuzzy.

"Where'ma glasses?" he asked, bringing up a hand to feeling around his bedside table for them. They were placed in his hand by someone else, and he slipped them on to see a worried Remus hovering over his bed, and a equally worried Sirius hovering behind him. He gave a grin, which was slightly lopsided since his body still felt numb. Memories of earlier that evening were beginning to seep back into his mind, like water slipping through closed fingers - slowly, but getting there.

"James, you worried the crap out of us." scolded Remus, and was about to go on to say more when Sirius put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Jeez Fudge-cake. He's only just woken up, give him time to recollect himself before you start worrying so much." he ordered, and James let a small smirk grace his lips when he realised he was feeling like the teenage daughter of a married couple, who were unhappy with him staying out late. Sirius was the mother who could remember being his age and having fun, and Remus was the father who was worried about him picking up some boy and getting pregnant.

The smirk fell when he realised he was comparing himself to a girl.

"That being said." Sirius carried on, "Snape says you're not allowed to drink any more. It screws with your recovery. And we're supposed to enforce that."

James let his mouth fall open in shock.

"Not _drink_? Like… Ever?" he asked, and Sirius nodded. "But… That's totally unfair!"

Remus shook his head.

"Drinking is bad for you anyway, and I'm not letting you do something that could cause a repeat of earlier. Do you _know _how damned worried we all were?"

James let himself fall silent, gripping the sheets in fists. Remus sighed, then sat on the bed, placing a gentle hand against James' tender forehead.

"You've got a bad cut there. It's not looking too pretty." he said, gazing at it with sad eyes. "We should probably take you to Madam Pomfrey and get you checked out." he added, but James shook his head, batting away Remus fingers.

"It's fine. It doesn't hurt or anything. It can heal without magical help."

Remus frowned.

"I know it _can_ but it might be nice if you get it healed a bit… faster, is all."

Remus was fairly good at convincing his friends to do things, but James was being stubborn. He didn't want to go see the nurse, since he'd feel even weaker then he already did. Over the last few days he'd been putting himself out there and exposing his weak side to almost everyone. He was fed up of acting like a damsel in distress, and wanted time to feel like a man again. If he went to go see Madam Pomfrey over a damn _cut_. It's just be the icing on top of the cake.

He sighed. No. He wasn't going to be a damsel in distress anymore. He didn't need saving. He didn't need Madam Pomfrey to make him feel better. He didn't need Remus and Sirius to act like his parents. And he didn't need Snape to ignore him every time he tried to put his feelings on the line. From now on, he just didn't need it. He was finally going to step up to his rightful place in Gryffindor, and stop being such a god-damn girl. He was brave after all. He was Gryffindor.

**Lord oh Lord… this was pretty quickly done… the inspiration is just flowing ya know? XD**

**So yeah, James is making a resolve not to be so girly at the same time Sev makes a resolve to do WHAT exactly? Something's amiss in the halls of Hogwarts my friends, so read and find out what in the next chapter! ^^**

**Please review! **

**~Od23**


	25. Chapter 25

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 25 - Don't Leave Me

Sirius had found it odd when Remus turned up at breakfast with his little brother in toe. At first his protective streak had jumped in, but he'd soon quelled it when he figured it was Moony. _Moony_! What was more odd then Regulus' sudden attachment to the werewolf, was when Remus had suddenly taken off in the middle of the whole James fiasco. Snape had already left, his duty having been done, and Remus had simply taken off without any explanation, leaving Sirius alone to deal with a fussing and worried Lily.

He'd eventually been able to give a convincing enough lie about James health and why Snape was involved that Lily let it be, but he still had the feeling she didn't believe him. But he wasn't overly concerned about what she believed or not right now, he was too busy worrying about where he stood in the minds of his friends.

Remus had come back much later that night, just before James woke up, and gave an excuse about having to have a talk with Peter. He wouldn't give any more information, and had instantly gone all fatherly on James when the boy woke up. Sirius had slipped into his role of concerned friend well, (at least, he thought he had), but he was worried he was beginning to loose all of his friends. He'd already lost his family, and he wouldn't be able to stand it if his friends no longer wanted to be around him either.

He was sat on his bed, waiting for the other three Marauders to return, and he'd got to thinking about his current position in the mind of his friends when he'd realised it was odd for him to be alone in their dormitory.

He could understand why James was distancing himself, in fairness. The boy had so much going on right now, he probably just needed some alone time to sort out his thoughts. And he wasn't blaming him, he was just starting to get a little lonely without the boy he thought of as his brother constantly by his side. It was also obvious that James had more then just platonic feelings for Snape, if his jealous against anyone who spoke to the Slytherin and sometimes blind admiration for the boy was anything to go by. It made Sirius angry, he wasn't going to deny it. How could James go ahead and get fucking _feelings_ for the grease ball? It was so… weird.

Granted, Sirius didn't really know all that much about Snape. But he was a Slytherin, and James had sworn to hate him for all eternity back before this year had began. Not only that, but… well, Snape was a guy. While Sirius was happy to tease and play-flirt with his friends, it never really struck him that any of them would actually like someone of the same sex. He fingered the hem of his school shirt, a habit he and Regulus both picked up when they were children. It was probably his upbringing that kept his mind so closed to the idea of same sex relationships. His mother had constantly screamed at him that one day he'd get married and his wife would bear the new generation of Black children. You couldn't have kids if you were sleeping with another guy. So why bother?

When he'd gone to Gryffindor his mother had refused to speak to him, and she'd eventually got around to disowning him. So… so it didn't really matter what that bitch thought anyway, did it? She wasn't technically his mother any more, and he'd never really listened to her anyway, or else he wouldn't be in Gryffindor. If he had listened to her he wouldn't have gone to Gryffindor, and wouldn't have met the Marauders, and wouldn't have tasted the freedom he did. Even if that freedom was a little bittersweet.

The point was, if he did like guys, what did it matter? Not that he did like guys, but… He wanted to understand James' reasoning more, and he couldn't do that with a closed mind. He couldn't keep his friends close with a closed mind… He stopped his train of thought as the door swung open. Remus entered the room and made a bee-line for his bed. Laying down and making a grunting noise, as if the action made him very happy. Sirius shot the boy a very small smile, although he knew Remus couldn't see it. Was that how Snape was keeping James close to him, through seduction?

"Fire whiskey?" he found the bottle shoved in his face by Remus. When had the boy even moved to get in front of him? It was obvious that Remus was more then a little tipsy already, Sirius could smell the alcohol on his breath. He grabbed the bottle, if only to stop Remus from drinking it. The boy couldn't hold his alcohol and would get smashed on one or two bottles, it was obvious he'd already had that many, if not more.

"Where have you been?" he asked, making room for Remus to sit on his bed. The boy laughed lightly at what must have been an internal joke, because nothing Sirius had said had been funny.

"Sammy's…" Sirius rose an eyebrow.

"From Hufflepuff, the one that's been flirting with you for like, half a year now? The one you said you wouldn't touch with a five foot pole because she's probably got some sexually transmitted disease with all the whoring she does?" Sirius asked, deadpan. Remus blinked.

"Did I say that?"

"Not in so many words."

"Well, she's really nice. She gave me these drinks."

"Did you sleep with her?"

There was a pause, in which Sirius gave an exasperated sigh, and Remus chuckled.

"Nah, I wasn't really in the mood." he grinned, and Sirius rolled his eyes. He probably wasn't in the mood because he was too busy fighting off sick with all the drinking he'd been doing. Sammy was probably gutted though, she gave him alcohol, lured him into her lair, and still didn't get any. He sniffed, what did he care. Remus was too good for her anyway.

He wanted Remus to stay with him. Not get seduced like James and run off somewhere. It wasn't fair that everyone was getting 'love' and he was being left behind. He blushed, he had to be open minded right? He bit his lip, then placed his hand lightly on Remus knee.

The werewolf looked up at him, obviously mistaking his action for simply trying to get his attention. Sirius shifted, and turned himself so he was sitting on his knees, on the bed, facing Remus.

"You alright Siri?" the sandy-haired boy asked, and Sirius nodded lightly, trying his hardest not to lose his nerve as he trailed his fingers up Remus' thigh. The boy didn't even seem to notice. He looked at the fire whisky bottle still in his other hand, and took a swing from it. Then let it tumble to the floor, spilling the content on the carpet, but not really caring. He leant forwards and gently brushed his lips against Remus. The boy started, and pushed backwards. "Sirius! What the fuck?"

Sirius blushed, but didn't lose his nerve, pushing himself forwards so he was straddling his friends lap. He wrapped his arms around the taller boys neck to keep him levered, and kissed the boys cheek. Remus stiffened, but didn't push away again. Sirius nuzzled his neck in appreciation.

"Don't leave me." he said, quietly. Remus nodded, not really trusting himself to say anything. Sirius' advances had sobered him up at first but he was quickly sinking back into sweet intoxicated bliss.

Sirius tugged at his shirt, trying to rid the boy of it, and Remus somehow found himself helping to take it off. He sat there, shirtless and with a confused and horny boy on his lap. His scars seemed illuminated, and Sirius was tracing one of his biggest with his fingers. He found himself getting turned on by the contact, but didn't want to admit he was getting aroused by his best friend, and simply put it down to pressure in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sirius didn't seem to care what he put it down to though, and he pressed their growing erections together.

"Fuck Remus." the smaller boy whispered, and Remus finally felt his dominant streak set in. There was a reason Remus barely ever had sex. He was incredibly ferocious in the bedroom, thanks to his wolf instincts. The wolf inside him wanted to be Alpha and nothing less, and Sirius was about to learn that lesson.

The boy was flipped upside down on the bed, his back crashing against the soft sheets, and he was quickly rid of his clothes. He felt his legs being pulled apart and blushed.

"Whoa, Remus!" he protested, trying to sit up, but being pushed back down by one of Remus' strong arms. He wriggled slightly. "This is a little… fast." he panted, once completely out of breath. Remus brought his tongue down and started licking the boys body all over, in a bestial fashion; making Sirius' back arch in pleasure no matter how much his mouth protested. It was embarrassing and strange and although it felt nice in some ways, it was damn scary to see the change from Remus' usually calm nature, to that of this. Somehow the complete humiliation was becoming a turn on. The idea that he could make Remus lose control…

"You asked for it." Remus growled out, his voice rougher then usual. It was almost as if the wolf had completely taken over his body, and Sirius knew that he'd initiated this, and he wasn't going to get out of it any time soon. He stopped his struggling, and brought his hand up to support himself on Remus' broad shoulders. The wolf growled, almost saying he wasn't allowed to do that, but let it slide, placing himself between the boys legs. Sirius clenched every muscle in his body, knowing what was going to come. He couldn't stop such a ferocious Remus. By clenching his muscles, he body started to shake, and Sirius felt Remus relax in top of him.

The sandy-haired boy leant down, and started licking Sirius again, this time gentler and sweeter. Almost like he was licking the metaphorical wounds. Sirius felt himself relax and was swept up until he was sitting on the werewolf's lap again. This time it was slightly uncomfortable thanks to the swelling erections they were squishing between them. He squirmed slightly, but the look Remus gave him instantly calmed him.

"You started this." Remus said, his voice still rough and wolf-like, but his hold gentle. "And we're going to see it through until the end."

- X -

"James?" The Quidditch player stiffened, and blushed at the sound of the recognisable voice. The man he'd been avoiding had finally found him, and he got the feeling he wasn't going to be let go. He turned slowly on his heel. So much for going to his dorm to get an early night.

"Sev-Severus." he all but squeaked, then reprimanded himself mentally. He was supposed to be being brave. He was supposed to be acting less like a freaking girl! "Severus." He said again, his voice much more stable. The Slytherin quirked what James thought might have been an attempt at a smile, but it turned into a smirk.

"Will you come for me?" the boy asked, and James felt himself blushing. Had he really just asked that? In front of all these people? "To the dungeons. We need to discuss something." The Slytherin added, and James cursed himself for taking what he'd said the wrong way. How was he supposed to hold a normal conversation with the boy if he took everything as some sexual innuendo? He nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak, and followed the boy down to the dungeons. As they walked, Severus talked.

"I'm sure you're aware that you're no longer allowed to drink." the boy said, and James was about to open his mouth to protest to the notion when he remembered Remus' annoyed face. He'd worried his friends by drinking, and it would ruin his recovery. He guessed if it was a choice of drinking or life, he'd chose life. He nodded his head, then made a small grunting noise when he realised Severus was facing away from him, and so couldn't see him. The boy smirked, but James couldn't see it. "Good then, I'll be happy to know you won't be causing me any more hassle."

James gulped. Is this all Severus wanted to talk about? The James was a hassle to him? As if James didn't already know that. But what could he do? Stop being terminally ill?

The Slytherin stopped in front of the ingredients shelf, and pulled at the ingredient, letting the case swing them both round. It did so with a vengeance, something Severus was not expecting, and they both landed in a heap on the other side. James on top of Severus, effectively straddling the boy.

The smaller boy blushed and quickly got off.

"You said the other day that you were making a confession." Severus stated, not moving from where he was sitting on the ground. James, who was stood, ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment and averted his gaze.

"I said it was _like_ making a confession." he corrected, but he saw the Severus wasn't buying it. The boy stood, and strode over to James with confidence, backing the boy up against the wall. James gulped when his back hit the stone and he found he had nowhere to run. Something inside of him was telling him he didn't really want to run either. The heat pooling in the pit of his stomach was the reason he wanted to stay. It happened every time something inappropriate happened between he and Severus. The heat would start to swirl at the very bottom of his stomach, and he'd get the overwhelming urge to just touch the other boy.

Severus was hovering over him, smirking down at him like he was a small fragile lamb, saying his final farewells before he was taken away and eaten by a hungry predator. He took in a short intake of breath and the Slytherin pulled their bodies flush together, and without thinking about it James let his hand run though the other boys hair. He was surprised at it's softness, although he had thought there was something different about Severus when he'd seen the boy in the corridor. He felt the Slytherin smirk against his neck, which felt strange, but good.

"Are you surprised? If you hadn't noticed by now I _do _wash it on a regular basis. I'm not the slime ball you and you're friends thought I was."

James sighed,

"Why is it so soft now though? The potions you're always working on always make it greasy, don't deny it." James was surprised at the stableness of his own voice, and his bravery in asking the question, when everything about Severus right now had him scared on the inside.

"Potions fumes aren't getting to it. I haven't been working on them." was his reply.

"Oh."

James' mind went completely blank of any intelligent thought or coherent sentence as Severus' tongue invaded his mouth.

***Laughs awkwardly* So, I just finished replying to a review saying I wasn't going to do anything with Sirius and Remus and the two having a relationship, and... BAM. D: But it's not all as it seems. XD**

**So, will Remus and Sirius start a relationship, or are they going to regret this in the morning? What is James going to do about Snape? (other then rape him. XD)... and What's Pete plotting in the corner? Keep a look out for the next chapter to find out! :P**

**Please Review!**


	26. Chapter 26

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**If anyone noticed, I changed the second genre to 'drama', since this story is more dramatic then funny now. Hope that doesnt change anyone's opinions about reading this. ^^**

Chapter 26 - Rather Die

"Get the fuck out of my face or else I swear to God I will maim you so much you're not even recognisable to your own family."

Severus rose a well practised eyebrow, leaning back slightly, (although keeping their bodies quite close together), and looking James in the eyes. His cheeks were red, but his eyes were hard-set and determined.

"I was under the impression this is what you wanted." He muttered, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious. James flushed a little more, and placed his hands against the taller man's chest, looking down to break eye contact.

"Well, I do…" he muttered back, the shook his head a little forcefully, pushing Severus away. They'd migrated a fair amount down the hall, and had just entered Severus' den when James had decided to completely change his mind about doing this. Severus stepped back and sat on his sofa, watching James from where he sat. The boy was playing with his hands, rubbing his right wrist with the fingers of his left hand. "You don't."

"It's not up to you to decide that for me."

James shuffle forwards, and sat down on the sofa right next to Severus, so much so that he was almost sitting on the boys lap. He lifted a hand and rested it on the other boys cheek, gaining eye contact again.

"I bet you've had a good long think about how you can humiliate me using this to your advantage haven't you." James said, not angrily, but with such a defeated tone in his voice that Severus tensed. Not only was the boy spot on, but it was almost as if he didn't want to believe it. Severus shifted his eyes away, scared for only a moment they would betray him.

"What do you care. You want me, and I'm offering." He mumbled. He always lapsed into mumbling when he was feeling awkward. He was usually well spoken and confident in his speech. After all, he was on a whole different level of intelligence and vocabulary then the majority of Hogwarts. But when he was awkward, or even embarrassed, he'd just mumble.

James stood, and Severus looked up in time to see him brush away what might have been a tear.

"You know, I did some horrible things in the past. But that, what you just did. How you just took advantage of me… how I _feel_ for you… that's like, the lowest of the low." His voice was higher, as if he really was choking back tears. Severus also stood, but James took a step backwards. "I may not have that much self-respect, and I may want you _a lot_, but I'm not gunna put up with your shit anymore. Stuff you, fuck the elixir…"

"James…"

James looked him dead in the eyes, and clenched his fists.

"I'd rather die then be humiliated like this!"

And with that, he turned to leave. Severus was about to watch him go, feeling somewhat like what he'd assumed and done had been wrong, but James' words struck him.

_I'd rather die then be humiliated like this…_

He'd remembered crying that himself. Many times.

Sat in the corner, knees drawn and hugging them. Head bowed to them as if praying. His father and mother shouting at each other and he himself with cuts and bruises everywhere on his thin body. He'd rather die then be humiliated this that…

On the Hogwarts express for the first time, watching his one and only friend, Lily, being shunned by his cousins. She'd turned for him to help, but he couldn't do anything. Then Potter had come along, and that infernal smile plastered on his stupid lips. He'd rather die then be humiliated like that…

Alone and cold after being out in the rain trying to find the ingredients for his latest potion, one of the subjects he really excelled at. Then seeing those, those _Marauders,_ happy and laughing, only to turn on him for their next entertainment. The curses and hexes flung everywhere. The jinxes that were said only for their entertainment, even though he had been really hurt. He'd rather die then be humiliated like that…

The whispers of rumours, and the insults that followed him down hallways, all because of those fucking Gryffindors. They prided themselves on their bravery, but they would know nothing of courage until they faced crowds of insults and lies and didn't even saying anything. Because in Severus' opinion bravery wasn't standing up for yourself, and shouting abuse back at the bullies. Bravery was standing there, and taking it all, and not saying a word, or sinking to their level. Even though he would rather die then be humiliated like that…

And even after all that, as he had sat there and debated what the best way to kill himself would be, he hadn't done anything about it. Even though all those times he'd said he's rather die, he'd never actually considered dying. Because he wasn't a Gryffindor. He didn't have the courage. He couldn't die, he had so much to do. And so he'd struggle through the humiliation, and he wouldn't die. How could James say he was so humiliated he would die, when he didn't have a clue!

He grabbed the smaller boys arm and flung him back onto the sofa, lying on his back. James gasped, but it was swallowed up when Severus invaded his mouth with his tongue again, crawling on top of him. When he withdrew slightly, James could see his whole posture has changed. His eyes were cold and his stance was rigid and angry.

"You have no idea. You've no idea what it would take to get you to end your life. You don't have a fucking clue. You don't know what I've been through." He wedged his knee between James' legs. "And you've no idea what I'm going to put you through."

- X -

Sirius groaned slightly, eyes screwing up in the concentration of waking up. Or perhaps, the concentration of keeping them closed, and hoping to God the lean, muscled and roughly scarred body next to him wasn't who he knew it was. He used the back of his hand, eyes still closed, and lightly traced the chest of the person next to him. He knew every curve and every bump. Every scar and every precious part of skin that wasn't scarred. He knew it all off by heart, and there was no doubt that the person beside him, nestled neatly in his bed sheets, was Remus Lupin. There was no doubt that the events of last night, that Sirius had blindly hoped has been a dream, were actually a reality. He hurt all over, and that could only be because Remus was rough.

Slowly opening his eyes, blinking away the sleepy-dust, and screwing up his nose against the sun, he took in the sight of a sleeping werewolf. The boy seemed completely harmless, so peaceful and serene in his sleep. But plenty of full moon nights parading the grounds with him, the scars that ran across his body, and the even deeper scars that ran through his blood and effected his heart, told Sirius that Remus was in no way a playful puppy. He was a ruthless killing machine. He had animal instincts, enough that they spilled over into his human side. His senses were so much more sharp then those of a normal human. And even though Sirius had known that, in his moments of self-pity, he'd taken advantage of his friend.

Remus had been drinking, and Sirius had felt like he was being left behind. But it was so unfair to manipulate Remus like that. The dark-haired boy bowed his head, and shifted his legs slightly to untangle them from his friends. Their naked bodies were pressed together, so he made quick work of un-pressing them. After successfully untangling himself from both the covers and Remus, without waking the werewolf up, he sat on the edge of the bed, and wondered idly where exactly James and Peter had gone off to. Since they certainly weren't in the dormitory with them. Sirius wondered if their absence was a blessing or a curse. Would he have gone through with it if James and Peter were there? Or would he have not cared, and ended up taking Remus somewhere else, and finding himself even more embarrassed then he was now.

Because he was embarrassed. Not because he'd slept with Remus, since, if he had to sleep with any of his friends Remus was probably the best choice, but because he's slept with Remus and not thought for a moment about either of their feelings. He didn't even like men, which he'd made clear on a fair amount of occasions, so it was ridiculous to think that Remus would wake up and think they were together right? He had to face it, last night had been nothing but a mindless fuck. It was harsh, but true. He'd never thought about what he was actually doing, but really, that at least Remus was with _him_ and not some Hufflepuff slut.

He clenched his fists, stood and found some clothes to pull over his head and onto his legs. Being naked while thinking about all the events that happened last night was making him increasingly awkward, and the last thing he wanted to be when Remus woke up was awkward. He wanted to show the sandy-haired boy that nothing had changed between them. They would still be great friends. It would still be fine for them to talk about anything and everything. Perhaps they'd lay off on the play flirting for a while, but, they'd probably get back into that again eventually as well. Really, one stupid night of passion wouldn't change anything would it?

He looked back at Remus, sleeping soundly without moving. The guy was a freaking log when he slept. He was plenty energetic most of the time, but as soon as he got tired, he was completely dead to the world. Sirius sighed. Nothing would be the same would it? Even if Remus was completely comfortable, and didn't care in the slightest about what had happened, Sirius wasn't. He'd be analysing the werewolves every move, and wondering what would happen if things hadn't happened. Sirius had already gone and planted the seed of doubt in his own mind, and now there was nothing he could do to stop it growing. He just had to know. He had to figure out whether he really was _attracted _to the sleeping boy beside him, and that's why he had made a move. He was almost completely certain he was in over his head. He'd never been attracted to a man before, and nothing about Remus had changed in anyway.

One thing was for certain, Sirius really needed some time to think. He checked his watch and found the time to be almost noon. Luckily for him, and the sleeping boy on his bed, it was a weekend. Remus could sleep till the moon came up again, so Sirius wasn't exactly worried about waking him as he left the dormitory. He let the door swing closed behind him, but at the last minute chickened out, since he really didn't want to wake the boy up, and caught it with his foot to dull the noise. He then turned and closed it properly, turning the handle and clicking it in place with the smallest of clicks he could manage.

He turned on the spot and made his way down the stairs, not even stopping to say 'hi' to anyone in the common room. He waved over his shoulder at the fat lady when she yelled a shrilly 'hello mr. Black', but didn't stop on his journey. He didn't exactly know where he was going, but found himself going down staircase after staircase, trying to get as far away from Gryffindor Tower as possible.

He stopped dead, however, when he found himself right in front of Lily in the entrance hall, just about to go outside. The huge doors that lead outside were open, and Lily was leant against the wall, looking out. She turned when Sirius stopped. Though Sirius himself had no clue why he had stopped. He still wanted to get further away from the boy in his bed, reminding him what had happened the night before. Somewhere deep down he knew he was running, and it didn't matter how far he went, he couldn't exactly escape his memory.

"You don't want to go outside. It's raining." Said Lily, looking up at the sky again. Sirius followed her gaze, noting that it was indeed raining. He still wanted to go outside though, being in the castle was making him claustrophobic. It felt stupid, since the castle was so big and all, but he couldn't help imagining the walls closing in on him and trapping in a small space. In that small space would be Remus as well, and he'd be forced to live up to the truth. He took another step to get past Lily and go out, but Lily grabbed his arm. "Don't. You'll catch a cold." she warned, and Sirius turned to get eye contact with her.

What was the difference between Lily and Remus? They were both smart. They were both prefects. They both had the same type of humour, although Lily would never admit it because Remus was a marauder. The only difference was their outward appearance. Because one was a guy, and other was a girl. They were walking different paths. Because Lily was a girl, she could do things it wasn't socially accepted for Remus to do. And Vice Versa. So why had Sirius slept with Remus and not Lily?

"Sirius, are you okay?" The red-head asked, tilted her head slightly to the side, and Sirius watched her mouth form the words. Why were Remus' lips more tempting then Lily's? _Were_ they more tempting then Lily's? Or did he just think that because he knew what Remus tasted like now, where as with Lily's he had no clue. Or perhaps, they were more tempting simply because Remus was out of bounds. Lily was out of bounds in a sense that she was James' long time crush, but she'd always been available, and it was socially accepted that he might like her. With Remus it was completely different. "Siri-"

Lily didn't get a chance to finish her sentence, because Sirius had leant down and shocked the words out of her, when he'd kissed her ever so gently.

The two were completely oblivious to Peter, who had just come out of the dungeons, where he'd spent the night spying on the Slytherins. He managed to catch them just in time to see Sirius pressing his lips gently to Lily's. She didn't seem to be pushing him away either. He clenched his fists at his side. Well, now Sirius was betraying James be really going after his girl? He'd have to get rid of Lily soon. He only needed one more month, and a certain someone to help him out. He grinned, counting his lucky stars when he saw that person, also witnessing Sirius' and Lily's moment, with a distinctly jealous look in his eyes. He walked up to the young Slytherin with a confident air.

"Hey Regulus!" He chimed, and the boy jumped. He patted him on the back lazily to calm him down. "Look Reggie, I've got a proposition for you, and if you play the cards right, it'll mean you get to spend a lot more time with your brother." he smiled. Regulus looked from Sirius and Lily to Peter. Then back again, and then again. Peter was right, now that Lily was going to be about, Sirius would spend even more time with him. He'd thought spending time with Lupin would draw him closer to Sirius. He nodded. He didn't care what Peter was planning, it couldn't exactly he bad anyway, Peter was a nice guy. And he just wanted to spend time with his brother.

***Hides from crazy Remus X Sirius fan girls*. **

**Well Hi everybody, here we are with a rather LATE update from me. It took me forever to write this, since I wanted to structure it in a way to NOT make people hate me for the whole RemySiri thing… but the I figured I was never going to succeed anyway, so did it the way I originally planned. ^^ **

**So, What is Peter planning? Can anyone guess? What and Remus and Sirius going to do? And what exactly is going on with James and Severus… are they EVER going to get to the happy ending? Read the next chapter to find out the answers to some of these questions. XD**


	27. Chapter 27

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 27 - Stupid Things

Lily pushed Sirius away, breathing heavily. She locked eyes with him and searched them for whatever had possessed him to do something like that. To _kiss_ her. Sirius, however, turned his eyes away once he realised what she was doing.

"Sorry." He whispered, stepping back. "I just made a huge mistake… I mean, not with you… You're fantastic. I just…" He trailed off, looking anywhere but at her. She swallowed. Really, she wasn't _mad_. Just confused. Sirius had said from the very beginning he wasn't there to give James a good word, and he wasn't there to try and seduce her himself, and she'd believed him. Perhaps she was a little hurt that now Sirius had decided to go and kiss her anyway. She watched as the boy stepped out into the rain, and followed as he made his way out into the castle grounds.

"Where are you going Sirius?" she asked, and he didn't even turn to look at her. She could see him clenching his fists at his sides as he walked, and she fell into a comfortable pace behind him.

"You know. I really like you, as a friend." Sirius started, and Lily was having a little trouble hearing because of the rain and the fact he was facing away from her, but she could understand him, and that was all she wanted. They continued walking, and Sirius carried on. "I did a really stupid thing to Remus."

Lily thought about the sandy-haired boy she shared prefect duty with. Remus was a smart and strong person, and Sirius was his best friend, so she couldn't imagine he'd be that upset, no matter what stupid thing Sirius did. She patted the boy's back.

"We all do stupid things that hurt our friends sometimes. But if you say sorry, I'm sure he'll forgive you."

Sirius stopped in front of the lake, and took a seat in the wet soil next to it. Lily hesitated for only a moment before sitting down next to him. The dark-haired boy stared out into the lake, searching for the giant squid, as he spoke.

"But he did it too. So, it's not all my fault, and there really isn't anything to forgive, because we both sort of agreed to it." He mumbled. "I want to say sorry, to make it all better again, but if I did, I reckon I'd only make it worse."

Lily chewed on her bottom lip in thought. Sirius wasn't known for willingly giving up information about anything that was bothering him. But she couldn't help out if she didn't know what was going on.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, and when Sirius shook his head, she rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'm going to go back into the castle now, because to be honest, sitting out in the rain trying to help someone who won't cooperate isn't high on my list of priorities!"

She stood and wiped as much dirt off herself as possible, before heading back into the castle. She'd just have to talk to Remus about it. The boy was much more sensible about these types of things then Sirius was, and if she could figure out what was going on, perhaps she could help Sirius the way Sirius helped her so many times before. If what Sirius had said was true, Remus would know exactly what was going on.

Sirius watched her go, wondering if it was for the best. When he'd kissed her he'd figured it would be better then Remus. Her lips were fuller, and she smelt distinctly more female, but… although it was very nice, it wasn't worse or better then Remus. Just different. Even though their personalities and essence were almost the same. She was different, because she was a she.

- X -

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Regulus asked for what felt like the 100th time. Peter reassured him once more that 'yes, this was a brilliant idea'. They were sat cross-legged in Regulus' potions classroom, which was across the hall from where Peter usually had his classes. The original plan had been to use Peter's classroom, since it was for OWL students it had more ingredients in the store cupboards. However, Severus often used the classroom to do his potions in, so they'd migrated to Regulus', since the potion they were concocting has _just_ been banned by the ministry.

When Peter had told them they'd be making a Polyjuice potion, he'd scoffed. He certainly couldn't make one, and he was fairly certain Peter didn't have the skills required either. However, Peter seemed to know exactly what he was doing, like he'd been making the potion many times before. Regulus suspected that perhaps he had, since he and his Marauder buddies performed lots of pranks that may have had use for the Polyjuice potion.

"Do you really think I'll be able to pull it off?" He asked. He was sat on a bench, and was looking down at Peter, who was working on the floor. The boy looked up momentarily, then went back to the potion.

"Yeah. Just stay quite most of the time." He said, "I've been acting a little distant recently according to Moony anyway, so it won't make much of a difference."

Regulus nodded. So far so good, in a way. He didn't know much about Peter's plan, but he knew he'd be taking Polyjuice potion to turn him into Peter, and Peter would be taking Polyjuice potion to turn him into James. Regulus wasn't entirely sure what it was supposed to achieve, but Peter said he knew what he was doing, and all Regulus had to do was follow his lead. If all ended well, it would make sure that Sirius wouldn't be spending all his time with Lily, she meant Regulus would have more opportunities to spend time with his brother.

"Besides," Peter carried on, sprinkling an ingredient into the cauldron, "In about a month everything's going to be set in motion, and after this one little thing, you won't have any part to play in it. You can just sit back and watch."

Regulus wondered whether that was good or not. The way Peter talked, you'd think he was saving the world, but there was an edge in his voice that suggested he might just be doing the exact opposite. Perhaps Peter really did think that he was going to be doing some great deed with whatever he'd set up, but deep down, there was something he knew he was missing. Like he was only looking at a small section of the big picture, and what he was about to do could either finish the entire painting, or rip it all apart. And the way he said Regulus would just have to sit back and watch, it wasn't as much as a reassurance as a hindrance. What if everything went the opposite way, and the painting was ruined? If everything happened on it's own, it meant he'd have no chance to try and put things right again. It would be fine if he could sit back and watch the painting paint itself into something beautiful… but what if he ended up having to watch the destruction of something he really cared about? How would his brother ever forgive him if he ended up ruining everything?

"Stop worrying." Said Peter, almost as if reading his mind. "Everything's going to go according to plan."

- X -

"Wait! Severus!" James gasped, trying to shove the dominant male off of him. Severus' lips were on his neck, his hands were everywhere. It was so wrong, but so right. He was so scared he could hardly think straight, yet some masochistic part of him was excited. He'd never seen Severus this mad, to think that he was the one to spark the reaction was simply exhilarating. And all the new sensations brought about by Severus' subtle movements of his body, or the forceful way he made James move against him, it was just…

James awoke with a gasp, remembering the events of the night before. His eyes met the ceiling of Severus' work room, and the cold seeped in, making him cuddle further against the body next to him for warmth. In his sleep, Severus subconsciously wrapped an arm securely around him. James felt his cheeks grow warm at the idea. Now Severus was being kind, where as the night before he'd been… scary.

His body ached all over, and he looked down at his arms to see finger shaped bruises where Sev had gripped him too hard. The muscles in his legs were cramping, thanks to having to hold himself up for so long the night before. He flushed at the memory. Trying so hard to stop his legs from shaking, as he was down on his hands and knees, at the mercy of the man behind him, doing things he'd never even imagined. His back was aching from arching so many times, and his neck was sore from the strange angle he'd slept at. Not to mention other pains, ones that he'd expected as soon as Severus had shoved him back onto the sofa.

How many times had he and Severus had sex last night? How many times had it been before he'd eventually passed out? How many times had Severus pushed into him, ignoring his cries of pain, and other times, his cries of pleasure? How many times had James called out the other boys name in his moments of pure bliss?

James shifted slightly, wincing as his body protested. Severus gave a small groan, but quickly went back to sleeping soundly. His breath caught in his throat a few times as he stumbled off the sofa and routed around for where his clothes had been discarded. Severus hadn't exactly cared for dropping them in a neat pile last night, and he realised that they'd been thrown about the room haphazardly. He stumbled over to his trousers and pulled them on, not bother with trying to find his boxers. He was careful with the zipper, then found his shirt and pulled it over his head. He looked back at Severus, who seemed completely at peace, and not at all regretting what he had done the night before. James sighed, limping out of the room.

He made his way down the corridor, and leant against the ingredients shelves connecting this hide-out to the rest of the castle, before pushing it so he could make his way back up to Gryffindor Tower. What he needed now was rest, since he hadn't exactly had much of it the night before, and although when he made it to his dorm his friends would surely question him as to where he had been, he was very ready to ignore them in favour of a comfortable bed. Making his slow way up the steps from the dungeon to the entrance hall, he reflected on the how he felt about the night before.

Severus had done it all to humiliate him, there was no escaping that. But he hadn't really felt like he was being humiliated. It was almost as if Severus was acting to his own masochism. He was angry and dominant and sometimes he was down-right scary, but he never made fun of James, and he never said anything to goad James into a fight. All he did was push him down into the cushions and take him rather forcefully. Now while that may have seemed completely horrible in most people's opinions, James couldn't deny that it was actually what he had wanted. He'd wanted to be with Severus, and within that he _had_ wanted to sleep with Severus. While it could have been more romantic, he couldn't say he didn't get what he wanted…

James stopped as he came to the entrance hall. Sirius had just pulled away from Lily, and they were both breathing heavily. Had they been… No, Sirius wouldn't go after Lily. After all the times James had tried to get to agree to go out with him, it was obvious that Lily was out of bounds… he stopped that train of thought. He could no longer say he was all that interested in Lily. Especially not after last night.

Had Sirius known that? Had Sirius liked her all along and decided to try it with her now James wasn't interested. Or was he simply trying it out because he could?

His eyes travelled slowly across the hall. Peter was with Regulus, which was in and of itself a rare sight. They were both looking at Sirius and Lily as well. And Remus was coming down the grand staircase; eyes also locked on Sirius. The two were drawing quite the crowd, but Sirius had gone outside, despite the rain, and Lily had followed like it was natural for her to. James hadn't even known those two were speaking. Was that because he'd been so wrapped up in Severus that he'd been neglecting to see his friends? Was it normal to see Lily and Sirius kissing? Perhaps seeing Peter and Regulus together was a natural occurrence now as well. Remus joined him where he stood.

"Where were you last night?" He asked, tone grave.

"You didn't stay up all night waiting for me did you?" James teased, trying to get back some form of normalcy. Remus shook his head, and watched as Peter and Regulus made their way towards them. "Hello." He said politely to the younger of the two, and James ruffled Pete's hair, grinning.

"What are you lot doing up so early anyway?" the Quidditch player said, putting on a brave front even though he was extremely tired and confused, and he knew his voice was kind of croaky from all the shouting he'd done the night before. Peter detached himself, and Regulus nodded his hello back to Remus.

"I was just going to tutor Reggie a little in potions, since Snape's been busy lately." Peter replied, and James felt a shockwave of surprise pass through him. He guessed Severus had been a little busy with him lately as well, and in turn hadn't been paying attention to Regulus, the same way James hadn't been paying all that much attention to the Marauders.

"I see." He replied, slightly beaten down. He hadn't meant to ignore his friends. And he certainly hadn't meant to get Severus to ignore his friends.

"You guys wanna help out?" asked Peter, but James declined. For one, he was crap at potions, and two, he felt really bad about ripping apart Regulus' and Severus' close friendship. Remus also declined, as he was looking over his shoulder at Lily, was had come back in from the rain. Peter shrugged and grabbed Regulus' hand, leading him down into the dungeons.

"Excuse me James, I've got to speak to Lily." Remus excused himself, walking up to Lily and leading the two of them into the Great Hall. James watched them go, wondering where Sirius had gone of to. One thing was for certain, right now Peter was with Regulus, Remus was with Lily, Sirius was outside somewhere in the rain, Severus was asleep, and he was stood in the entrance hall; alone.

**Slightly shorter chapter then normal, but… I enjoyed writing it. ^^ It's almost as if all the little subplots are coming together in one big final crash/bang/finale! XD Yes, this story is very soon drawing itself to a close. Feel sad. : ( Only a couple more chapters to go… 4-5-6 maybe? *gasp***

**Anyway, what exactly his going to happen with Pete's 'master plan'? How does Remus feel after seeing Sirius kiss Lily? What's Lily going to do about this strange love-triangle? Will James EVER be able to win Severus' REAL love? Find out the answer to some of these questions in the next chapter of Dependence! XD**


	28. Chapter 28

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**Just a quick note to say sorry it's been so long… I was planning on updating before I went on holiday, but didn't get around to it… Then I went on holiday for two weeks. But now I'm back and writing again! ^^ Thanks for sticking with it anyway. **

Chapter 28 - Under the Old Oak Tree

The summer was hot. James observed this as he made his way towards the Quidditch pitch with Sirius.

"It's hot." he said, trying to make conversation the old British way; weather. Sirius mumbled;

"Yes James it is bloody hot, thanks for pointing out the obvious dimwit."

Usually James would be a little affronted by Sirius' harsh words and sarcastic tone, but after a month of this type of behaviour he'd pretty much gotten used to it. Sirius had been severely prissy ever since about a month ago, and James was sure it had something to do with Remus.

It wasn't as if Sirius and Remus had fallen out. They talked to each other and were perfectly civil - but that was what worried James. Who ever heard to Remus and Sirius being polite and civil to each other? There was no play flirting, no play fighting, no play anything. There wasn't even any real flirting or fighting (which James was sure slipped in there sometimes when they 'played'.) It was just not them. Not only this, but Peter had been sneaking off more normally then usual (James was sure he had a girlfriend or something), and that meant James had to figure out the mystery that was Remus and Sirius all by himself. Anyone who knows James knows he isn't exactly brilliant at solving mysteries. He'd tried asking Lily about it (since she seemed to know everything about Sirius nowadays), but she'd only said that she was trying to work out the same thing. Evidently, when Remus had gone to speak with her, he hadn't actually spoken all that much. And Lily not being able to solve something made her moody and cranky, and she was even more on top of her prefect duties then usual, which meant the Marauders had to be extra careful about their pranking. Not that any of the marauders were really in the mood for pranking.

Today was the Quidditch match against Slytherin that everyone had been waiting all year for. Slytherin's team were good, but they weren't even close to the quality of performance that Gryffindor's continuously achieved. James was looking forward to it because it had been an entire month since he'd seen Snape, and because he was frustrated one Slytherin, he was frustrated with all of them. He couldn't wait to kick their asses. Really, it wasn't fair that Severus could be so kind one minute, so brutal the next, and then completely ignore him for an entire month. It was bullshit. What did the greasy bastard think he was doing? Did he have any idea how much he was messing around with… James gulped, his _feelings_.

"We'll beat those slimy snakes into the ground!" He exclaimed in his annoyance, and for the first time in a month saw Sirius smile. Perhaps Sirius had just been frustrated as well, and so was looking forward to kicking ass just as much as James was. Sirius nodded.

"Fuck yes we will!" he agreed, grinning. And James, despite brooding over his Slytherin, or worrying over Remus and Sirius, grinned too. It was after the match that he was saying: "I can not believe you pulled that off."

James grinned, fingering the snitch that he'd kept as a present from the match. He'd swapped it with a kiwi from the kitchens and nobody seemed to notice. The snitches little wings were struggling in it's attempt to free itself, but he was paying it no heed, happy to have defeated all those annoying Slytherins.

"Hey James! Great stuff out there!"

"Oh, hey Pete! I didn't think you'd find time out of your busy schedule to come and watch." James teased the shorter of the two. Pete shrugged in a non-committal way.

"Actually, I have a favour to ask." he said, sounding sheepish. James nodded, and Sirius clamped on the back.

"I need to go speak with Remy. See ya in a bit."

James nodded, happy that Sirius was at least trying to talk with his werewolf friend, and focused his attention to Pete. The next thing he knew: Black.

- X -

Sirius caught up with Remus next to the lake, watching the giant squid splash it's tentacles about lazily. He bit his lip nervously, but pushed on, tapping the taller boy on the shoulder.

"Hey." He said in greeting, and Remus nodded, not taking his eyes on the squid. Anyone would think it was doing back flips and singing the national anthem. Sirius sighed. "Hey." he repeated, with more force this time, making Remus look round.

"You know I can be civil when we are around others, but I really don't want to talk to you at all." the werewolf said, with little emotion, and lots of bluntness. Sirius swallowed back a retort he was about to make.

"I know what we did was stupid Remy, but you had a part in it to." he reasoned, and watched as Remus shook his head, tutting. He brought his knees up and embraced them.

"Fuck Sirius, do you really think I care that we had sex?" he ignored Sirius' blush and carried on. "Yeah, that was stupid, but you're right, we both played a part in that."

"Then what are you so annoyed about?" Sirius asked, poking his friend in what he thought was a funny way. Remus' eyes were cold and set, and refusing to look at the long haired Gryffindor.

"I'm annoyed because even though I try to rationalise this, you must have known I'd been drinking, and you know how I am like that…" he trailed off, swallowing. "Fuck, I hate to say it, but I feel slightly taken advantage of here."

Sirius looked away from the werewolf, hating to admit that that was exactly what he'd done. He'd known Remus had been drinking. He'd been jealous of some girl who had taken Remus attention, and had done the most stupid thing based on stupid assumptions. Was he a child who couldn't deal with the fact that his best friend might have other friends? No. He was a teenager who had accepted that his friends were moving away from him, and all he was trying to do was slow down the process.

"I did take advantage of you." he admitted. "I'm sorry I did. But I can't change what I did, and… It's not like I did it knowing I was going to fuck everything up."

Remus sighed, shaking his head again.

"Even if I'd woken up in the morning with you still there, I doubt I would have cared. The only thing that seriously pissed me off - fuck off laughing - is that when I went downstairs the first thing I see is you kissing somebody else - Lily no less!" He eventually admitted. Sirius, who hadn't known Remus had seen them, winced. There was a long pause while he thought of something to say.

"Shit." he eventually decided on, making Remus snort in what would have been an amused way, had it not been for the fact that Remus was severely pissed off with Sirius right then. And with the new information out in the open, Sirius realised that Remus had every right to be. He copied Remus position, bringing up his knees and hugging them, then tilting his head down slightly, as if shamed. "Remus… I'm a very confused person."

"That much is obvious."

"I mean… I don't like Lily. She's a good friend, but she's not really my type. Too… Good." Remus snorted again, and Sirius smiled at his knees. "What confuses me is that I'm not sure whether I like you… Y'know, _that _way."

Remus suddenly stood up.

"I swear to God Sirius if you start confessing your love for me I will beat you black and blue."

Sirius stood up as well.

"But what if I do love you?" He asked, annoyed. Remus better fucking be joking. The werewolf had slept with him and now Sirius might confess and he threatened violence? Hell, Sirius didn't know how he liked Remus, but if he did love him, then he'd expect a slightly better reaction then that.

"Sirius." Remus cautioned. "You don't love me." He stated, as if that was the end of the conversation.

"Maybe I do love you!" Sirius ignored the finality in his friends voice and pressed at the matter. Remus rolled his eyes - big mistake. "What are you? Some kind of homophobe? I thought you were a better person then that? I thought if I did fall in love with you it would be okay because even if you didn't like me back you were an understanding person."

"I understand well enough, and I'm not a homophobe - but we're friends! And that's all we were ever meant to be."

Sirius used his sleeve to wipe furiously at his eyes. He couldn't believe he was so worked up over this, enough to start crying. He really needed to do something manly, like start a fight or something.

"You're such a git." He said, voice wavering slightly. He received no reply from his friend, and didn't look up to see Remus' regretful face. The werewolf stepped forward and lightly touched Sirius' shoulder. Sirius looked up and Remus pulled him into a hug.

"You're so stupid." He said, "You know I love you Siri, as a friend. I'd do anything for you. But all this talk is just… irrational."

Sirius grabbed hold on Remus' shirt and balled it inside his fists. His body was shaking trying to stop the tears from flowing.

"Stop using big words and trying to make it out like I'm some kid who doesn't know what I'm saying. I love you. Now more then ever I know I do."

Remus sighed, lightly kissing the top of his friends head, as if Sirius _was_ a child who was scared and confused. He tilted the boys head up by placing a finger under his chin and gently guiding it into position, and then brought his lips down on the smaller boys. In broad daylight, in front of everyone watching. Sirius pushed him away.

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed, and Remus nodded.

"Precisely."

… A paused engulfed them, where Sirius (blushing) stared quizzically at the sandy-haired boy.

"That makes no sense." He eventually said, and watched as Remus' straight mouth turned into a familiar, wicked smirk.

"No, none of this makes any sense. You say you love me, yet as soon as I kiss you, you push away." Sirius blushed some more, averting his eyes. "I think that you're scared of losing us Siri, and I get that it's a little weird that the Marauders, who swore to be friends until our deathbeds, are moving in different circles now, but you need to sort out what you're feeling."

"The only thing I care about is that I don't want you being annoyed at me."

"Well, in that case, stop sleeping around."

Sirius gaped.

Remus rose his left eye brow.

Sirius blinked.

Remus shrugged.

"I can not believe you just said that."

"I can not believe _you_ just said _that_."

Sirius groaned in annoyance.

"Fuck this Remus. I get it, we're friends, and that's all. But bloody hell, does it annoy you so much who I sleep with?"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"It does now that I've been one of your nightly partners."

"Jealous?"

"You wish."

… Sirius smiled.

"Shall we go find Prongsie and beat him up, my Tickle-cake?"

"You know, that sounds like fun, my Munchkin-butt."

The two boys went laughing toward the old oak tree they used to study under, and now only used for hanging about - because studying _so_ wasn't cool. James was already sat under there with Peter, letting go of the snitch and then catching it before it got to high. Peter was watching him with a slightly adoring smile, which was a little odd for Pete, who never really seemed to be around now-a-days. They sat down next to the pair and waved their greetings hello, and James simply continued to play with his snitch, glancing across the grass where Lily Evans was studying with her friends. Was he trying to show off? Sirius thought he was over her by now, especially with the whole Snape thing.

"I'm bored." He announced. Remus had produced a book from somewhere, and was undoubted actually studying - They had one of those annoying exams soon didn't they?

"If you're so bored you could test me, here…" he held out the book for Sirius to take, but Sirius simply snorted, bashing it away.

"I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

He let his eyes wonder around and spotted Snape wondering in their general direction.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot." James said under his breath. "Look who it is…"

Sirius looked around at Snape again, and thought the only way his appearance would liven him up is if he could hex him - But James wouldn't allow that now, would he?

"All right, Snivellus?" James called, making everyone's head whip towards him. Had James really just… even knowing his life was on the line?

**So, what they're saying in that last scene is quoted directly from the book, chapter: 'Snape's Worst Memory', but I messed around with the actions a little bit, and how they got into that situation in the first place… still. **

**Somebody (most), will hate me for the Remus and Sirius thing. But, that's how I planned this story to go. Sorry, but I truly think these two just work better as friends, and I wouldn't past Sirius to mistake his friendly jealousy for 'love'.**

**I hope you enjoyed it! Please review to tell me what you thought! ^^**


	29. Chapter 29

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

Chapter 29 - Two James'?

Regulus watched as Sirius stood after James, who was really Peter with the use of some Polyjuice potion. They'd knocked James out earlier, pulled out some hairs and completely the potion. Peter had taken the role of James because Peter knew James' personality better then Regulus, and Regulus had taken the role of Peter and was told to 'keep quiet no matter what happens'. Regulus had not expected Peter to attack Snape in James' body though. Did the boy have no idea what was going on? Wasn't this plan supposed to make him closer to his brother? Surely Sirius would raise bait now, after everything? And if Severus ever found out, well, he'd never speak to Regulus again… Regulus decided the best thing to do was to let Peter handle everything - be quiet like he had been told to be - for surely Peter knew what he was doing. Right?

- X -

Remus kept his eyes trained on his book as Sirius stood to follow James. Peter was watching the two carefully with an apprehensive look. Lupin kept his eyes down - he couldn't believe James was getting back into his old habits. Cruel as it may be, Remus had liked the idea of James getting a bit of his own medicine, he was revelling in the peace it was creating. Now though, all he could do was fall back into his old habits - looking at whatever book he had with him, without really reading it. Severus, it seemed, had reacted on instinct to the old nickname, and had dived into his robes for his wand - no sooner was it in the air then it was truly flying through the air, because James had shouted 'Expelliarmus', pointing his own wand at Snape. Sirius needed no goading back into his old routine, if James was up for a fight with the grease ball, then so was he. He let out his familiar bark of laughter. He rose his wand, pointing it at Snape, who was diving for his own wand.

"Impedimenta!" he said, watching as Snape, half way through his dive, fell to the floor. Remus stilled his heartbeat, noticing the other students around him had started to get to their feet and edge closer to the scene. Some looking apprehensive, and others entertained. It was the old song and dance all over again - where had his peace gone? What on earth had possessed James to put his life on the line like this? Snape might as well go back after this little show and never make the Elixir for him again. Then what would James do? Peter was also edging around him, trying to get a better view, with that same apprehensive look. Remus rose his eyes for a moment to see Snape lying on the ground, breathing heavily, and James and Sirius making their way towards him - wands raised.

James glanced over his shoulder at Lily, on the waters edge. Was he still trying to impress her?

- X -

Peter gave an inwards laugh, this was all going according to plan. He knew Regulus would just be quiet about the whole thing - for really what could he do? If he spoke up about this then both Sirius and Snape would hate him. And Sirius - Sirius never could resist a fight. He looked over his shoulder at Lily, on the waters edge, to make sure she was paying attention. She was vital to this plan to. He'd been lucky that she was more agitated then usual, she was sure to try and stop the fight soon, then all he'd have to do was say some cruel things to her, goad Sirius into doing the same, and she'd be out of there lives right after Snape.

"How'd the exam go Snivelly?" Peter knew that was where Snape had just come from, he and Regulus had seen him exiting the hall. Even if Sirius hadn't known, he'd grab the bait and make some snide comment. It was just the type of guy Sirius was.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment." Sirius did grab the bate, even though he obviously hadn't been watching him - there was a hint of viciousness in his voice, and Pete could tell that he'd been wanting to have a go at Snape for a long time now. Sirius was probably a little conscious of the friends moving away from each other as well - that's why he liked Sirius - Sirius didn't like change much either. Of course, that didn't stop the fact that Lily would have to go. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people in the growing crowd laughed outright, and Pete knew it wouldn't be long until Lily was on the scene. Everything was going according to plan. Snape tried to get up, but he struggled by the jinx put on him.

"You - wait." he panted, and Pete saw him give James an expression on pure loathing. And Pete thought they'd been getting on quite well. Perhaps Snape was just bitter. "You - wait."

"Wait for what?" Sirius said, voice dripping icicles. "What are you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?" Pete grinned at this; he knew it would be best to have Sirius there - it meant less work for him. Snape however, let out a string of curses and swearwords. None of it had any effect, his wand being so far away from him and all.

"Wash out your mouth." Peter said, smirking evilly. "Scourgify!"

Bubbles erupted from Snape's mouth as if he was a rabid dog, and he struggled, choking. It was then that Lily made her fated appearance, and Peter knew that everything was going to go according to how he had planned it.

"Leave him ALONE!"

Both boys turned round, as if Peter hadn't already knew she would come. He imitated James perfectly, letting his free hand jump to his hair.

"All right, Evans?" he said, Evans, not Lily, as James would usually call her. Evans. Lily glared at him.

"Leave him alone." she repeated. "what's he done to you?"

Peter smirked, looking back at the foaming at the mouth Slytherin.

"Well," he said, imitating what James would have said in this situation, back before he'd been made into Snape's play thing. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

Most of the crowed laughed at this, and Peter grinned himself. Remus was still pretending to read, so he didn't, and neither did Lily, but Sirius did.

"You think you're funny." said Lily, coldly, "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him alone!"

Peter thought about what James would do in this situation, but also something that would enrage Lily to no end. Of course, the two went hand in hand really. What did James to every day that had Lily rushing off in a huff? It was obvious.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans." he said, "Go on… Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." He lied. He didn't notice the jinx Sirius had put on Snape wearing off, or the fact that Snape was inching towards his wand, spitting out soap as he went. Lily, of course, reacted just as Pete had expected she would.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

Original, Peter thought, Like he hadn't heard that one before. He heard Sirius give a laid back laugh.

"Bad luck Prongs." He said, and Peter momentarily forgot he was James, and didn't immediately grin back at the boy. Sirius turned, and saw Snape reaching for his wand. "OI!"

Unfortunately for the two Gryffindors, Snape had already grabbed gold on his wand and pointed it at James' face. A flash of light appeared and a gash appeared alongside James' cheek bone. Peter stumbled, anger flaring. How dare that slimy git! He whirled around so he was fully facing Snape, and decided that now was time to use the spell James had taught him. James had said it was a spell Snape had invented. James had read it in a potions book of Snape's. James had taught it to Pete with awe as the Quidditch player told Pete how amazing Snape was. Well, Pete thought, it would be a real kick in the balls to be attacked by your own spell.

There was another flash of light, and Snape was hanging upside down. His robes fell down over his head to reveal his legs and underpants. The crowed cheered, even those who had at first looked apprehensive. Sirius was roaring with laughter. Lily, glaring, said:

"Let him down."

"Certainly." Replied Pete, jerking his way so that Snape fell to the ground in a heap. He disentangled himself from his robes and got to his feet. He raised his wand to counter attack, but Sirius was too quick for him;

"Petrificus Totalus!". Snape went down again, rigid.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, rage bubbling over. Severus was her friend, even if he hadn't really been acting like one recently. He was always avoiding her, and sneaking around. It wasn't like Severus at all. She drew her wand, pointing it at her fellow Gryffindors. Peter eyed it warily, and Sirius followed suit. It was no secret that Lily was very good at wand work, and if she was mad, neither wanted to be on the receiving end of a curse from her.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." Said Pete, trying to act cool. This part was not part of his plan. He had no idea Lily would stick up for the slimy git this much. She was supposed to go off in a huff ages ago.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

Pete sighed heavily, turned to Snape and muttered the counter curse. If Lily wasn't going to back down, then he'd play along - for now.

"There you go." he said, defeated. Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"

Snape, angry at being betrayed like this by someone he was beginning to think of as his friend, snapped the first retort he could think of.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked, surprise written on her face. How could she be so wrong about someone? Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sirius' lips deepen into a very dark frown. He was mad, but she was furious. She thought Severus was her friend, and here he was, calling her a Mudblood. He, of all people!

"Fine." she said, her tone like ice. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

She knew it wrong to sink to the level of Potter, but dear God, right now she wished Snape would just disappear. How dare he? How _dare_ he!

"Apologise to Evans!" Pete said, trying to sound like James would, but failing in the fact that he really didn't care if Lily was upset. Sirius, however, had his wand raised and pointed at Snape, with a glare so furious Lily thought he might accidentally send an Unforgivable. Lily rounded on James, anger flaring.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologise." she shouted. She hated him just as much for what he'd just done. She'd thought he'd changed recently, there had been peace in Hogwarts without Snape and James fighting all the time. James had even started laying off all the other kids he bullied. And even as she said it, emphasis on the 'you', a part of her realised that because Sirius was so angry, she wished he would make Snape apologise. She wanted Sirius to point his wand at Severus and curse him until he said sorry, hopefully he'd be screaming for mercy at the same time. "You're as bad as he is." she said, and while she meant it to be speaking to herself - because she couldn't believe she was ill wishing people now - James instantly retaliated.

"What?" Pete yelped, feeling somewhat like he should be sticking up for James' image. James was a lot of things, but he never discriminated against anyone because of the type of family they came from. "I never call you a - You-Know-What!"

Lily flared, annoyed that James had the gal to act all high and mighty when he'd just been bullying a poor defenceless boy.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." She shouted, shaking her head. She turned on her heel and hurried away, hating to see the expressions on everyone's faces as she fled the situation.

"Evans!" Pete half-hearted shouted after her - trying to act like James. "Hey, EVANS!"

Lily, however, didn't look back, and that was just the way Pete liked it.

"What's with her?" he asked, trying to sound as if he was truly worried. Sirius rolled his eyes. He realised how stupid he'd been to start a fight with Snape, now if only James would realise it too.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate." He said. He tried to make it out as if it was funny, but his tone came out bitter.

"Right." Replied Pete, incredibly glad with this news. "Right." he said again. Another flash of light later and Snape was back in the air, upside down. Sirius, this time, did not join in.

"Who want's to see me take of Snivelly's pants?"

Whether Pete would have gone through with that, however, would never be known, because at that point the was hit from behind with a well place curse from both Remus, Regulus and James. The real James. Snape fell to the floor and quickly hurried away. Sirius and Peter, the fake James, looked in horror at the sight they saw before them. Peter was scared witless now that he'd been caught out, and Sirius, well;

Two James'?

**This chapter was such a pain to write. I had to keep referring to 'Snape's Worst Memory' all the time, to make sure I was getting it right, and changing it so it fitted Pete. Still, I hope everyone enjoyed it! Only a couple more chapters to go!**

**Please review to tell me what you thought!**

**~Od23**


	30. Chapter 30

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

**People have been saying this chapter isn't working, but… I hope it works now.**

Chapter 30 - Fated From the Start

'_We can not live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibres, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.' ~ Herman Melville, American novelist 1819 - 1891._

Sirius watched as the James he had been having fun with ran away into the classroom, and Pete, after a few minutes, started morphing into a familiar face. He stared in wonder as Regulus, his brother, appeared when Pete has stood just moments before. No sooner had the boy finished morphing back to his original appearance then he burst into childish sobs. Sirius, on instinct, strode forward to envelope the boy in a hug, when it the force of the situation hit him, and he stopped half way through.

"What the fuck's going on here?" he asked, staring confusedly at his younger brother, wearing slightly oversized Gryffindor robes. His brother flinched physically backwards, stumbling into Remus. The werewolf sighed, steadying Regulus.

"I think all of us have been tricked." he said, sad eyes roaming the outside of Hogwarts. "This place has just seen a betrayal that will mark the beginning of many more to come."

Sirius glared at the two boys in front of him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Regulus, what have you done? Who were you scheming with? I thought Snape was your friend! Don't you know what's on the line?" He clenched his fists at his side. Remus was right, this was a betrayal. How could Regulus, whom he cared for so much, turn around and be part of such a plot? The moment he decided to get along with Snape, for James sake, something like this happened? Now James would never forgive him either… He gulped, realisation washing over him. He'd betrayed James too… He'd let him down. "What are we doing…? Dear God… You're right… We've been hanging on the edge all this time haven't we…?" He let his eyes travel to Remus', wide-eyed and shaking.

"Sirius." Said Remus, trying to anchor him to reality. "Stop."

Sirius swallowed, breathing heavily. Stop what? What was Remus on about? He shook his head in confusion. All the sounds on the area, all the sights and sounds, all the magically energy of Hogwarts started to blur into one big ringing in his ears, and he clamped his hands over his ears in attempt to block it all out.

"Sirius! Stop!"

He sank to his knees. Stop what? He couldn't stop! He couldn't stop if he didn't know what was happening… What was happening? Why was everything so confusing? Why wouldn't anyone explain anything? What happened to that time when everything was so simple? When The Marauders ruled the school, and were secure in themselves? Where had all of it gone so wrong?

_"__Impedimenta!__"__ he said, watching Snape, half way through his dive, fall to the floor._

He'd been so cruel, only this morning, and put his own friends life on the line just so he could have some laughs. As the other students edged closer, ready to be entertained. They knew they'd get some laughs because that's what the Marauders were for, but… The Marauders no longer seemed to be the same stable Marauders they once were. He clenched his hands to fists over his ears, trying to block out everything.

"Sirius!"

Who had even said that? Was it Remus, or Regulus, or James?

_"__Fuck Sirius, do you really think I care that we had sex?__"__ he ignored Sirius__'__ blush and carried on. __"__Yeah, that was stupid, but you__'__re right, we both played a part in that.__"_

_ "Then what are you so annoyed about?" Sirius asked, poking his friend in what he thought was a funny way. Remus' eyes were cold and set, and refusing to look at the long haired Gryffindor._

_ "I'm annoyed because even though I try to rationalise this, you must have known I'd been drinking, and you know how I am like that…" he trailed off, swallowing. "Fuck, I hate to say it, but I feel slightly taken advantage of here."_

Had Remus known then? That everything was going to go to pot in just a few short hours? Was that when everything went wrong? Sirius couldn't tell if it all died today, or whether they'd been spelling out their own disaster from the very start.

"Stop this…"

The voice was gentle this time… He felt a hand on his shoulder - but he'd already closed his eyes to the world.

_ "Why don't you write to her." Sirius suggested, leaning against the wall next to her. "Sometimes, even if it's not your fault, it's best to say sorry." he added, and Lily faintly wondered when he'd grown up and realised that truth. The boy grinned. "Especially if your sisters stubborn."_

_ Lily laughed lightly. _

_ "She's very stubborn." She agreed._

Lily… where was Lily? He couldn't help but feel that was his fault too. He'd riled Snape up so he'd spat out anything when someone tried to help. He hadn't tried to defend Lily. That impostor had defended Lily more then he had. After everything, after all that he'd gone through with Lily in this last six or so months, he'd let her down in the end.

_"__That boy is a threat James! A threat to your life, our friendship, everything! He__'__d be better off dead!__"__ Sirius screamed. James felt his anger bubbling over. Now Sirius was just saying ridiculous, malicious things._

_ "Don't say that!" he scolded. But Sirius continued to carry on._

_ "I'll say what I fucking want you git!" he shouted, "I have right of speech and I'm fed up of this! That greasy, hooked nose twat has to go!" _

_ "What do you plan to do? Feed him to the wolves?"_

"Sirius, please…" someone was hugging him. "You've got to stop this. Please."

Whoever they were, they were right, he had to stop this. Somebody had to stop them from going down this road of destruction. Surely, all this, everything would lead to more betrayal, just like Remus had said…

_"__You better not die Prongsie.__"__ he said, before straightening up, a small blush gracing his cheeks and he quickly wiped his eyes. He scurried over to his bed in dog form, and Remus and Pete decided it best to just pretend to have gone temporarily blind and death for that moment. The Marauders respectively snuggled into their own beds. _

Gods, everything seemed like a life-time ago now. He couldn't put a scene to a time zone. It hadn't even been a year, yet so much had happened.

"Please Sirius, just open your eyes and see the truth."

What truth was there to see? Surely if he opened his eyes now, all he'd see was more lies and betrayal?

_"__Jeez Siri, I love you!__"_

Had he not said the same three little words to Remus just this morning? What was going on? What was happening? Why were things repeating themselves? Why couldn't he stop it? Stop it all from happening… stop everything from spiralling down into the end.

_"__So, what did the old coot want?__"__ asked Sirius. _

_ James snapped out of his thoughts. _

_ "Oh… he, um… he just doesn't want any more fights between us and Snivellus this year. He's really gunna be cracking down on it." _

_ Sirius pouted._

_ "Oh, well that sucks."_

_ "Yeah." said James, "Tell me about it." _

Was that it? Was that really the beginning of it all? Or did they start walking this road long, long ago? Was it possible that the Marauders could have been doomed from the moment they met all those years ago on their very first train ride to Hogwarts? Was this moment, the moment when everything fell apart, could it truly have been fated from the start? He slowly, so slowly it was painful, opened his eyes.

James was sat in front of him, hands clenching at the Black's shoulders, and tears springing up in his eyes.

"You've got to stop." He said, gulping and smiling as tears trickled down his face. "Just… stop."

- X -

"Snape."

"Fuck off Black."

"Wait… You've got to understand what really happened out there. James was -"

"I know what happened out there!" Snape whirled round and pinned Sirius to the nearest wall. "You and Potter got bored of this charade you've cocked up together. I realise I'm a sadistic bastard Black, but you guys seriously take the cake. I was willing, for only a moment, to forgive the both of you, I was going to… I've been avoiding him for a month, I'm not even there when he collects the Elixir." He stopped, bowed his head, and brought his hand away from Sirius' shoulder, only to angrily slam him back into the wall. "I've done some nasty stuff to him, the way the two of you did some nasty stuff to me, but I thought that was over with now. I planned to tell him all this."

"…Then why didn't you?" asked Sirius, feeling a sudden rush of fondness for the Slytherin. Snape shook his head.

"What's the point now?" he asked, anger flaring. "I realise now that all this has been just another elaborate joke. I wouldn't be surprised if Potter doesn't even _have _Tractamosa! I've been betrayed and humiliated!"

"Even though… Lily still stood up for you."

Snape bashed Sirius against the wall again. Now dare he use her name?

"That little Mudblood should just keep out of it!" he snarled, seeing red. And with that sentence, Sirius saw red too. He waited until he'd calmed down, and said;

"You're right. Here, if you go to the Womping Willow and press the not at the stump wit a long stick, you can climb through and follow the passage. At the end of that you'll find something to make this up to you. Do it tomorrow, at about 8 o' clock."

"Why would I do anything you say?"

"It's up to you…" Sirius trailed off. "I'm just sick of all of this."

- X -

The next day, Lily caught up to Sirius in the hallway. She held out a letter for him to read.

"It's from Petunia, my sister." She said, smiling.

"Oh." replied Sirius, looking at the enveloped letter with polite interest.

"I want you to read it." added Lily. "You know, I took you're advice and said sorry, and she's finally written to me."

"That's great!" Sirius exclaimed. He unfolded the letter in his hands, but didn't get to read it before Lily hugged him forcefully.

"Thanks Sirius. You know, yesterday I really wanted you to stick up for me when Snape called me that. But… Now I realise why you didn't. Because sometimes people have to say sorry on there own, without the help of others pushing them to do it." she grinned. "I wouldn't have been happy if he apologised just because you told him too, so I'm going to wait until he says it on his own. Please don't do anything until then, kay?"

Sirius blinked. He hadn't even thought about it like that. How is it people just make their own conclusions like that? He tried to tell Lily she was wrong, but she started talking again.

"I want you to keep that letter Sirius. To remind you how important your family is. You know, you're lucky you and Regulus go to the same school, yet the two of you rarely talk. It makes me a little sad to it see it." She shrugged. "Everyone knows you're protective of him, but… I wonder if he knows sometimes, the way he looks at you."

Sirius glanced around the hall for his brother.

"Sometimes people can be completely clueless, can't they?" Lily laughed. "Sometimes, even when it's obvious that they're your friend, or that you love them, they don't see it, because they're too wrapped up trying to make sure that you know that you're their friend, or that they love you…" she trailed off, then leant forward and gave Sirius and very feather light kiss on his cheek. "I think lots of people are like that, but it's no ones fault really… even if you wish that they'd just know, sometimes… it's just impossible."

She turned to leave, but Sirius caught her arm just before she got out of reaching distance. He brought her back and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you."

Lily smiled, though tears were building up in her eyes.

"No Sirius… Thank you."

**The scene with Sirius and James, and then Sirius and Lily was supposed to be really emotional… but I feel like I failed there…**

**Please review!**


	31. Chapter 31

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

**Warning: Use of the 'C' word in this chapter, but only once.**

Chapter 31 - When the Blind Open Their Eyes

'_I am a citizen, not of Athens or Greece, but of the world.' ~ Socrates, Greek philosopher._

Sirius looked at the small, fragile looking boy in front of him. He was shivering in the cold, yet every time either moved to go inside, they stopped, coming to a stand still in front of each other. Summer rain poured down on them relentlessly.

"Tell me who it was Regulus." Sirius demanded, realising neither were getting anywhere. Regulus had come to apologise, but froze up every two moments; scared. Sirius was willing to forgive, the same way he had been forgiven, but he just needed to know who the other party was. Regulus, however, was either loyal to them, or scared of them. The younger sibling shook his head, not looking at his brother. Sirius sighed, running a hand through his sodden hair. Regulus was leaning up against the castle walls, and Sirius faced the small boy, trying to stop himself from getting angry in his frustrations. "Who was it?" he repeated, and Regulus shrugged his shoulders.

"He said it'd make us closer!" he finally choked out, looking up and getting eye contact with his brother. "He said if I just kept quite everything would be fine! I swear, I didn't know…"

Sirius took a few steps forwards and placed a hand on his brothers hair, very gently ruffling the wet hair.

"I know." He said, "But Reggie, you don't know what's on the line."

Regulus gulped, and shook his head.

"I know, Severus told me… I just… I had no idea he'd do that… He's supposed to be your friend!" he cried, leaning heavily against the wall, the rain trickling down his face looking like tears. Actually, they could have been tears, Sirius reasoned. His brother was clearly distressed.

"Snape isn't our friend." He said evenly, thinking of the horrible words he said to Lily. He knew Lily had said not to do anything, but he could hardly recall what he'd already done. Tonight, Snape would get the shock of his life, and it would teach him not to poke his overly large nose into other peoples business. Regulus gave a short cynical laugh.

"Brother, you idiot." He said, making Sirius snap his head at the younger boy. "After all these years don't you think I realise the relationship between you and Severus? James may have accepted him, but you are Slytherin through and through! You can't accept anything that doesn't benefit you."

Sirius, anger boiling, used one fist to shove his younger brother into the wall he was leaning against. He spat on the floor next to him.

"Slytherin am I? Which one of us has that god-damn mark on there arm little brother?"

Regulus, despite being held in place by Sirius, glared determinedly.

"I do." He admitted, breaking eye contact, and clenching his fist at his side. "You have no idea what it's like." he muttered, and coughed when Sirius slammed into the wall again.

"I grew up with mum and dad pressuring me too! Do you see me joining those god-forsaken fuckers?"

Regulus closed his eyes, then Sirius found himself spitting out dirt when he was thrown to the floor with the force of the young Slytherin punching the side of his face.

"You don't have a clue! Living your happily sheltered life with your Gryffindor buddies! You say you're protective of me, everyone says it, but you've no clue what it's like to be surrounded by Death Eater after Death Eater, all pressuring you to take the mark, and swear your alliance! You don't know how fucking terrifying it is to know that He can read your mind, and if He even suspects that you're not loyal He'll off you, just like that!" The boy pounced on his brother, who was still on the floor, dumbstruck. He brought a fist down and landed it on the elder's nose, hearing a satisfying crack. "You don't know… You don't know how much I hate it. Every day wondering if my arm will burn, and I'll be summoned. Or knowing that any day now I'll be asked to torture or murdering someone, and there's no way I can say no…"

Sirius growled, switching their positions and head-butting the boy underneath him. Regulus' head span, but he didn't stop struggling.

"You don't have to kill anyone! You could…" He trailed off, weakening his grip, in which Regulus thumped him in his cheek. The Gryffindor went reeling to the side, and Regulus took the chance to stand up.

"I could what? Die? You know I wish I could! But He's not that kind. He wouldn't go after me, He'd go after you, and mum, and dad, and Severus…" He brought up a hand to his forehead, which was bleeding a little with the force of Sirius' head-but. He glanced at his brother to see Sirius was bleeding in a few places as well.

"Do you care that much?" Asked Sirius, spitting, and struggling to his feet. "What does it matter if he kills us? We're hardly innocent, none of us are. But it's the innocent he'll send you to kill. Muggles who have nothing to do with this, people who've lived all their lives helping others. He'll order their killing in cold blood, and you'll do his bidding." Sirius went forward and grabbed the material of Regulus soaked school shirt, near his collar, and so hard it was almost strangling the boy. "Could you live with yourself? Would you make me live with that? I'd rather he killed me off because of you, then have to watch you murder innocents."

Regulus, despite being choked by his brother, brought a hand up and placed it on Sirius shoulder, shakily. His cheeks were stained pink, and Sirius knew that this time he was really crying, and it wasn't just rain.

"None of us are innocent Sirius, you've said it yourself. Even a saint can't sit by and watch his loved ones be hurt." He pushed a little against Sirius' shoulder, and Sirius felt his grip slacken. "Admit it Sirius, you're the most Slytherin of us all."

"What? You little cunt! I don't have the mar-" Regulus punched him again, more forcefully this time, and when Sirius went over, he kicked the boys ribs.

"You don't have to have the mark to be Slytherin! You don't have to be Slytherin to take the mark!" He screamed, "This is what I mean by you having no idea! You've been all cosy up in Gryffindor tower, ignoring all that's going on around you. Take a fucking look, Sirius, open your eyes to the god-damn reality and you'll realise there's a fuck load more evil in this world then you think. You'll find out that evil is everywhere, not just in Slytherin. There are people in Slytherin who don't have the mark - like Severus for example! You've hated him all this time, and yeah, sometimes he says stupid things, and he should never have called Evans that! But all of you provoked him! You can't blame him for every little slip of the tongue! You'd forgive James if he did it, so why not Severus? You're always telling me he's just a pathetic Death Eater, but how wrong were you? I'm the one with the mark… he's so much braver then all of us. He's resisted it this long, even though people like you make him feel like he should just take the mark. He's never taken it for Lily, because she's like a sister to him, so I know he didn't mean what he said…. And there are people who have the mark, who aren't in Slytherin. You have to open your eyes, idiot brother."

"What are you on about?" Sirius choked out, fingering his ribs delicately where they had been kicked by his younger brother. Said brother sank to his knees in front of the Dog-Star. He punched the floor.

"You're so blind." he whispered, letting out a cold, scornful laugh. "Peter Pettigrew. He's the Death Eater who disguised himself as James." He finally admitted.

- X -

James wandered the castle for the tenth time, looking in every nook and cranny, in unused classrooms, in used classrooms, behind suits of armour, behind Ms Norris - yet still he couldn't find Severus. He'd asked Remus, but the werewolf was getting ready for the full moon and couldn't stay for long. He'd asked Lily, but she'd simply said she had no clue, and went back to writing her letter. He'd asked Sirius, but his best friend had quickly shook his head, following his younger brother out into the grounds, despite the rain. And heaven be damned if he could find Peter!

He poked his head into the great hall for what felt like the millionth time, and was greeted with a couple of Hufflepuffs and a stray Gryffindor first year. Not a Slytherin in sight, and certainly not his Slytherin. It was nearing 8 o' clock, and he'd have to go down to see Remus relatively soon. It was strange, that at the beginning of the year he would have scoffed at the idea of searching the castle for Severus, yet now it simply felt strange not to have the Slytherin with him. Even though Severus had never actually said 'I love you', or even gave the impression that he even liked James, the Gryffindor was sure that they'd be able to sort something out - as long as he could find the other boy.

When he found himself checking behind the stone gargoyles outside Dumbledore's office for the fourth time, he decided to give up, and opened his bag to bring out the invisibility cloak. He quickly checked no one was watching, then swung it over himself, quickly making his way out into the grounds. He could see the Womping Willow out of the corner of his right eye, and out of the corner of his left eye he saw Sirius, looking pretty beaten up, with Regulus kneeling on the floor beside him. He instantly changed his course of action and ran over to the two of them.

"What the fuck happened?" he demanded, asking Regulus because Sirius looked too beat up to answer anything. The younger Black sibling refused to look James in the eyes.

"We fought."

James rose an eyebrow.

"You two fought?" he asked for clarification. Regulus had a bleeding forehead, but other then that, had barely a scratch on him. Sirius, however, looked like he'd been ran over by a bulldozer. Said bulldozer survivor gave a deep chuckle, then coughed, spluttering.

"Kid's a better fighter then he looks." he mumbled, turning his head so one side of his face hit the ground and became covered in mud. "I deserved it though." He added, his voice becoming dark, and an angry expression daunting his features and screwing up his nose. He believed Regulus, everything was adding up. Why Pete had been going off secretly recently, and why he wouldn't talk about where he'd been. He couldn't believe he'd been betrayed like that.

"Alright." James said, gently turning Sirius' body so his wounds were exposed. "I'm just gunna clean you up a bit, then we'll help you get up to the Medical Wing, alright?"

Sirius nodded gingerly. James passed his cloak to Regulus.

"Hold that." he said, bringing out his wand and muttering some spells he'd learnt that should help his friend out. He grinned once he thought Sirius was healthy enough to walk, and helped the other Gryffindor stand up, completely missing Severus walk towards the Womping Willow behind him. He didn't even notice as he walked Sirius back into the castle. The walked up all the flights of stairs to the fourth floor in silence, with Regulus trailing along behind them, and it was only when they got to just outside the Medical Wing, did James think to ask Sirius if while he was outside, had he happened to see Severus.

As if realisation dawned on, Sirius' eyes widened and broke away from James, running (slowly because he was in pain) back the way they had come.

"Fuck James." he swore under his breath. "I've done a terrible thing."

James caught up easily and stopped Sirius from going any further.

"Calm down, you're hurt. Just stop freaking out and tell me what's upset you." he said, as if practised. Sirius was always freaking out after all. It probably wasn't anything big. Sirius, however, turned to his best friend with scared eyes.

"James I…" He gulped. "Snape… He's going to Remus. He knows how to get there."

James laughed.

"Very funny, well… not really, but good try anyway." he chuckled. "How would Severus know?" he asked, jokingly. Sirius grabbed a fistful of James' shirt.

"You have to believe me! I told him… dear God… I told him." He bowed his head, weaken his grip on his friends shirt. "James… I told him."

It took James all of half a second to register what Sirius and said, and he roughly pushed off the boy to run in the other direction. What had Sirius been thinking? He ran and ran, sliding down the barristers to speed up his trip. Would Snape really go? What had Sirius told him exactly? Had he said that Remus was a werewolf? If he had then Severus might have gone to further his research for Wolf's Bane, but if he hadn't… Severus would be completely surprised. James shook his head, while running, even if Severus went thinking he knew what he was getting himself into, Remus was a werewolf, and reading about werewolves was completely different to being in the company of one.

Remus was sure to attack, he was lethal to humans. Remus couldn't help it, it was impossible that he wouldn't attack. Severus was going to be attacked by a rabid werewolf. Severus was going to die… he shook his head again, rushing away those thoughts. He'd get there in time to stop anything like that.

He hoped he'd get there in time…

**Oh my! I like this chapter, sort of. I was kinda stuck on where to go from Regulus' and Sirius' little chit chat… But I think it turned out okay.**

**Please review! Only… 2 - 3 more chapters to go! *gasp***

**~Od23**


	32. Chapter 32

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this**

Chapter 32 - Slytherin

The claws, shining in the moonlight - the full moonlight. The teeth, bared and yellowing. The fur, running smooth, except for those places where scars punctuated its deformed body. Crouching on all fours, it was both beautiful and terrifying. Paralyzing.

He was paralyzed with fear. No matter how much he wanted to slam that trap door and lock it, he couldn't move a muscle, in case he alerted that… that _thing_ of his presence. Even then he knew it was a futile attempt, once the transformation was fully complete, then the werewolf would smell his human scent. He'd read enough about them to know that much. Yet, even with his extensive knowledge on werewolf traits, he was still amazed.

_That thing had once been Remus Lupin._

He'd got there just in time to see Remus withering on the floor in pain, howling in the moonlight, his metamorphosis beginning. He'd been so shocked that _Lupin_, of all people, was a werewolf, that at that point the hadn't thought to close the door. Surely, he moved now, he'd have enough time? He hesitantly moved his arm, mere inches towards the clasps, and that was when Remus turned on him. He'd either seen the movement out of his peripheral vision, or he'd smelt Snape's human fear. It was awe-inspiring. Those bright golden eyes, staring him down, trying to figure out the best way to kill. Awe-inspiring, but again, paralyzing.

This was it. He was going to die, at the hands of the Marauders. He knew it was his fate, the moment he'd laid eyes on those people. Those four boys, chilled and ready for their lives at Hogwarts. He'd been their opposite. While they'd been cosy up in Gryffindor tower, he'd had to suffer the cold damp nights down in the Slytherin dungeons. He'd come to school knowing more about the dark arts then any other student, but that didn't mean he was evil, it simply meant he was prepared. To catch a murderer, you had to think like a murderer.

Yet the Marauder's hadn't seen it like that. All they saw was a loner kid who wasn't the best at socialising. All they saw was the perfect target.

Really, this was perhaps the best way to go. This way he wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. He'd admit his defeat. He'd never get his own back on those boys, that they'd give up so much, just for victory - if they could do that, perhaps it was only right that here and now, he gave them the win they craved for so much. He closed his eyes. This was it. He'd never actually read about how werewolves kill their pray, perhaps it would be painless.

"Severus!"

He was knocked to the side by an antler in the side. He managed to open his eyes to see an impressive stag wage war with the werewolf, pushing it back into the room, and slamming the door with its antlers. The stag transformed and a person stood in its wake, locking the door with some effort, considering the werewolf was attacking the door from the other side. Eventually, James slid down the wall, turning to Severus.

"Severus." He repeated, drawing in great breaths, so he could get enough air in the small area. Snape stared him down, hands shaking at his side.

"You… You tried to kill me." He stated, eyes wide with fear, as if only just realising what had gone down. He stood, though it was awkward to do so in the passage-way. James gulped, shaking his head, but Severus wasn't paying his attention, only listening to the werewolf bang and scratch against the trap-door. At any moment that thing could barge its way through, then they'd both be dinner. He'd been sent into the lair of a werewolf… after everything, the marauders still hated him enough to see him off? "You tried to kill me." he repeated, angrier this time, voice more stable.

"Sev-"

"After everything! You tried to kill me after everything! What are you? You and your bloody goons, you're insane! How could you?" he fell to his knees, where James was sat, leaning against the wall, and grabbed a fistful of the boys shirt, bringing them both to eyelevel. "All this, after everything… you're cursed. Every time I start to feel like I'm about to forgive you, you turn around and throw my trust in my face! All this time I've been fooled. You tried to fucking kill me!" He slammed the boy into the wall behind him, and heard a sickening crack and James' head connected with the stone. James ignored the pain, and the fine trickle of blood he could feel running down the back of his scalp. He leant forward, prizing the other man's fingers off his shirt, and finding a way to straddle the boy, if only to stop anymore attacks. He pinned Severus' hands in his and stared down at the Slytherin, eyes sad.

"Why would I?" He asked. "The moment you die, my fate is sealed. Do you think I'm suicidal? Even if I was, I wouldn't drag you into it! I'm not as sick and twisted as you seem to think I am. You've got this image of me being the worst of the worst. Sure, I bullied you, we all did. Fuck, you deserve revenge. Have I ever really complained or tried to stop you humiliating me, once I'd realised what a god-damn jerk I'd been? I've been ridiculed and violently abused by you Severus, yet still I don't say a word. We're bound together, and I used to hate that, but even if it's masochistic, now I can't get enough of it - of you!" He gulped, throat restricting as he listened to Remus pound on the door, his snarls and howls heard easily through the stone. "Gods Severus, I love you. I'll continue to love you, no matter what you do to me. Even if you hate me, I can't stop this feeling. That's what's most sick and twisted of all. That you don't even need to get you're revenge anymore, do you? You're kicking a fallen horse. You killed me when I realised I'd have to depend on you, and my corpse turned to dust when I realised I was falling for you. It's the worst, I hate you for it, but I've never regretted a single moment of this." He lowered his head, resting his forehead on the crook between Severus' shoulder and neck.

"I can't stand this anymore." he whispered, letting his body slump against the other males. Severus sighed.

"No. Neither can I." he replied, bringing a hand up, which he'd managed to struggle free from James' grip, and let it rest in the boys hair, which was now matted with blood. "This is it James. Even after everything, it seems we can't settle our differences. We can't do this anymore. It's killing us both."

- X -

Remus sat in a chair on one side of Dumbledore's desk, while the bearded man himself was sat on the other side, face grave - his usual twinkle gone. Remus was staring at his lap, willing the tears to leave him. Snape, was leaning against the wall, looking awkward.

"I suppose that there is nothing to be done." The old man stated, sighing; defeated.

"Headmaster." The Slytherin said. "I've already told you that he didn't harm me. There's no need, for this…" He trailed off at the angry look from the teacher. Dumbledore shook his head ruefully. Remus twisted his hands around themselves. This situation had to be bad if Snape was sticking up for him.

He'd gone straight to Dumbledore, as soon as he had realised what happened. As soon as he was in his right senses again, he remembered seeing Snape open the door, see him. He couldn't risk hurting another student. Even if it meant sacrificing his schooling, he wouldn't risk anything like that happening again. If James hadn't been there, then there was no telling what he would have done to the Slytherin. Even if he hated to leave Hogwarts behind, he'd rather that then put people in danger. He had to take responsibility here. He was the werewolf, if he wasn't here, then no-one would be in danger. It was his fault, which was exactly why he'd made his first stop Dumbledore's office. Even if Snape felt it was alright, Remus certainly didn't.

"I'm sorry Severus, Remus… the fact of the matter is, we can't risk anything like that happening again. If one student can find there way in, then what's to say another student wont?" The wise old man asked, hands clasped together. His voice was older then Remus remembered. Or was it that he'd never been paying any real attention before? Now he was leaving, he felt like he should soak in everything around him. So at least he'd have the memories. At least he could fantasise on a hot summer afternoon, that one day, a long time ago, he _had_ had friends.

"But sir!" Snape protested again, "It's not like I just 'found my way' there! Black told me to go there, I wouldn't have had a clue if he hadn't told me to!"

He clamped his hand over his mouth and the shocked and hurt look he received from Lupin. What an idiot, he scolded himself. What good would it do to bring Black into this mess? That god-damn bastard had screwed everything up, so it wasn't like he wouldn't just do it again.

At this train of thought, the door to Dumbledore's office burst open, to reveal Black himself, panting, and followed by an equally out of breath James. The two boys stumbled through the door and Black instantly opened his mouth to speak.

"You can't expel Remus, it wasn't his fault!" The boy exclaimed, rushing into the office fully. James slowly followed him, sending looks in Severus' direction.

_We can't do this anymore. It's killing us both._

He sighed, watching the scene fall about in front of him, like… well, magic, he supposed. Like the world was just a movie on the big screen that he watching, and had no control over.

"Sirius. I've just been informed of that by Mr. Snape." Dumbledore stated, twinkle completely gone and replaced by a hard, cold look. "What on earth possessed you to send a student off to play tag with a werewolf!"

He was angry. Well, angry didn't really cover it. James had never seen him this… feral. He wasn't sure what to do. The choice was either Sirius left, or Remus left… worst case scenario, both left. He didn't think, after all that happened in the last year, he could possible live if they both left. He watched in despair as Sirius withered away from the dangerous glare Dumbledore was sending him.

"I don't know." The Black admitted, voice small. He looked round to see Remus watching him, his face crestfallen. Surely, Sirius was putting on a show. He wouldn't really… he wouldn't actually send someone to him? He wouldn't take advantage of him like that, would he? All this time, all the times he'd confided in Sirius, telling the boy how he felt like a killing machine, only to have Sirius call him an infuriating pet name and tell him he was no such thing. All of it, spent in vain, because in the end Sirius had sent an innocent person to him, as if he really was a killing machine? There's no way… Sirius wouldn't. Couldn't. Right?

"Sirius Black, you're being temporarily suspended until the end of the year. During that time we'll find a way to punish this act." Dumbledore said, breaking Remus out of his thoughts. He watched, useless, as Sirius nodded his head.

"No!" he screamed, standing up. "Headmaster, please re-consider. This isn't Sirius' fault!" he pleaded. Dumbledore rose an eyebrow in cold shock, but Sirius placed a hand on the werewolves shoulder. It was shaking, and that was enough to tell Remus that this wasn't a show.

"This is my fault." the boy whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Remus shook his head.

"No! No, it can't be! You wouldn't! Besides, if you go now, you'll miss your OWLS. How are you supposed to become an Auror if you miss your OWLS?" The sandy-haired boy cried. Sirius visibly flinched at the words. He wouldn't look Remus in the eyes.

"I'll figure it out… why are you so selfless?" He asked, shoulders shaking as he looked at the floor. "After what I did, y-you're supposed to h-hate me."

Remus stepped backwards.

"I'm not gunna get a job anyway, since I'm a werewolf." he said, voice quiet. "I wanted to see at least one of us four with a good career… This isn't selfless, it's selfish. You can't leave." He stated, clenching his fists, head bowed. Sirius shook his head, though Remus couldn't see it.

"I'm so sorry pal, but… I'm not gunna let you throw away your education. You work so fucking hard. I'm not ruining that because I'm like this."

Remus stared intently at the floor, watching his own tears make tiny droplets there.

"Like what?" he managed to ask, looking up in time to see Sirius turn his back on him.

"My bags packed and in the train already isn't it?" The boy asked Dumbledore, who nodded.

"You should go." The Headmaster added. Sirius took a few steps towards the door, but Remus caught his hand.

"Like what?" he demanded, and Sirius managed to give him one last final grin, even if Remus could tell it was a fake.

"Slytherin." was his reply.

**I had no inspiration for this chapter, which is why it took so long, sorry! But I've lots of inspiration for the next chapters, so please look forward to them! **

**Please review!**

**~Od23**


	33. Chapter 33

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this**

**If anyone's read my A-Z of how James and Sirius can come out, you'll realise I took the Lily scene straight out of there. I just replaced James with her, because… well, it fitted. Ha.**

Chapter 33 - You're a Marauder. You'll be Back.

"So… You're really going?"

"I don't have a choice."

There was silence in the station, punctuated only by the steady beat of the train's engine kicking itself into life.

"What am I supposed to do without you here?"

"You'll figure something out." Sirius said. James grunted, watching Sirius watch him. Remus was behind James, not looking at either of them, tears running steadily down his cheeks. "Listen James, I gotta tell you something." He said, placing his arm around James' shoulders and leading him slightly away.

"What is it?" James asked, once they were out of earshot of their werewolf friend. Remus was staring at the train, twisting his hands in and out of one another. Sirius sighed, turning their bodies so that if Remus did look round, he wouldn't be able to read there lips.

"It's about Pete."

"Oh my god! Is he okay?"

Sirius sighed,

"Yeah, but… I wanna talk to him before I go, would you…?"

James nodded.

"Give me two minutes." he said, before bringing the Marauders map from his back pocket, and rushing off in the direction of the castle - in stag form so he could get there faster. Ten minutes later, and the station was still silent, except for a train director, who was ushering Sirius to get a move on. The boy was hanging back, waiting for James, using every excuse in the book, until James came back, followed by a reluctant looking Peter. Sirius clenched his fists at his side, and ushered Peter away from James. The Quidditch player went to join Remus, who still hadn't moved from his position, and Sirius rounded a corner, with Pete in toe.

"Alright, fess up!" Sirius scowled as soon as they were out of eyesight. "I can't believe you… I thought you were our friend! I might as well turn you in right now…"

Peter faked surprise.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius punched him into the wall.

"You're a fucking death-eater!" he all but shouted, yet somehow, Pete still managed to look surprised.

"I… No I'm not! Who told you that?" he protested.

"What does it matter?" Sirius asked, "Don't deny it!"

"I've nothing to deny!" Pete shouted, voice sounding desperate, and Sirius couldn't see through the act.

"Then show me your arm…" he said, suddenly unsure. Peter rolled up his sleeve to show no mark. Sirius gasped and took a step back. Regulus had… Regulus had cheated him? Given him fake information? Why? Why would he need to do that? What was the point of turning him against his friends?

"You're…"

"Not a death eater." Peter finished for him, glaring. "I'll see you, if you manage to come back next year." He added, stalking off towards the castle. He grinned when Sirius couldn't see him, his mark covered by a good amount of magical make-up. It would only last for a few hours, but it looked as if it had worked a charm. Sirius didn't suspect a thing anymore.

Sirius sunk to his knees. He'd just turned another friend against him. This… It was ridiculous. He'd messed up so badly. He'd trusted a Slytherin over his friends. Fuck the fact that that Slytherin was his brother, he was still a Slytherin…

"Sirius?" James rounded the corner. "You okay?" he asked, seeing his friend on his knees, and no Peter in sight. Sirius stood, nodding dumbly. He followed James towards the train, where Remus was waiting for them. Finally, the werewolf looked at him.

"You'll be coming back next year." He said, voice small. Sirius shrugged.

"I hope so." He replied, but Remus shook his head.

"It wasn't a question." he said. "You're a Marauder. You'll be back."

Sirius grinned at him, stepping on to the train.

"Yeah." He said, "You're right. I am a Marauder, nothing can keep me a way from this place."

Remus smiled, and Sirius knew that he was forgiven. Even if he knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven so easily, it was nice to have one of his friends back. He shot his grin at James, but it faltered, seeing the boy's sad expression.

"Prongs, what's up?"

James looked up in surprise. He waved away the boys concern.

"N-nothing."

"Sirius Black!" All boys turned to see Lily push through them and come to a stop in front of Sirius, who was half-on, half-off the train. She delivered a swift smack across his cheek. She had tears in her eyes. "If you board that train I'll never forgive you."

Sirius, shocked into silence, didn't move from his spot.

"Lily." He eventually stated, dazed and cheek stinging.

"What am I supposed to do without you?" The redhead asked, placing her head in her hands. The three Marauders watched her shoulders shake violently with tears, then Sirius sighed, bringing something from his pocket.

"Here." He said, giving her the letter. He glanced over her shoulder to see Snape standing a little way away. He was out of breath, cheeks red with effort. It was obviously he was the one who had alerted the girl in front of him where he'd be. He wasn't sure whether to thank the Slytherin or punch him. Behind Snape was Regulus, watching the scene with wide innocent eyes. But no… Regulus wasn't innocent, was he? He was a Death-Eater. A Death-Eater that had sold Sirius fake information. Lily looked up, clutching the letter Sirius had shoved at her. "It doesn't work in my family. No matter how many times I say sorry, they'll always find something else that I did wrong." He explained, and Lily just sobbed.

"That's horrible! How can you give me advice that doesn't work?" she cried, punching his chest. Sirius sighed, catching her wrist. He leant down and gently pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I said it doesn't work in my family, but I know it will work for you. You're just amazing like that." he said, calming her slightly. "Everything's going to be alright." he reassured, though he didn't actually feel like anything was going to be alright.

"How can you say that when you're leaving?" she asked, voice small. Sirius let go of her and stepped properly onto the train. He walked into a compartment and leant out the window, waving at them as the train driver made haste is starting to move. Lily cried louder, and Remus cried more, and James clenched his fists as he watched his best friend start to move away. Sirius kept his eyes trained on the two Slytherin's at the back, however.

"I'll be back." he said, waving at Lily, but not looking at her, because he didn't really know if he would be back. To James he said; "Can I stay round your's once summer begins?" and saw out of the corner of his eye that James had nodded. To Remus he just smiled, a rueful, sorry smile.

"You'll be back." Remus agreed, eyes red and puffy, and holding Lily in place as she was getting slightly hysterical. Sirius nodded, keeping his eyes on his brother. It was impossible to know, looking at his innocent face, that he had been lying.

"See ya'll next year Fudgy-poohs!"

- X -

_I've never regretted a single moment of this_

It was true, James mused as he wondered down the charms corridor, strangely reminiscent of when he'd kissed Sirius there. Because of Severus' little deal, he'd been able to do even crazier things then usual. He'd made a love potion, which apparently had been rather effective; he'd cross dressed on a broom, which was something he'd never thought he'd do; he'd helped towards a potion which might help Remus in the near future…. Amazingly, though all of it had been meant to embarrass him, he'd lived a lot more then he ever had done before. In the midst of it all, he'd fallen in love. And no, he didn't regret one bloody second of it.

If he died tomorrow, he'd die tomorrow. That was all it came down to. At least, in his short life-time, he'd managed to realise what a bully he'd been, and said sorry. That was really the best he could do.

Of course, he'd really rather not die tomorrow.

But Severus had said _We can't do this anymore_.

James wasn't sure if that meant their relationship; being friends - more then friends. Or if it meant that Severus would no longer make the Elixir. In other words, it would be James' last week on Earth.

_This is it James._

He himself had told the boy he'd loved him. He'd gone ahead and done it. So if anything did happen to him; if it was James' last week on Earth… at least he'd managed to tell Severus his feelings. Perhaps he would have preferred it to be in less dangerous settings, but what's done is done.

_I can't stand this anymore._

And he couldn't. He really couldn't stand living on a tightrope. Having to depend on someone else was killing him slowly and painfully. Knowing that he was walking on a the edge of a cliff and that Severus controlled the wind, it was simply torture. Thinking that at any moment Severus could push him one way or the other. He simply couldn't stand not knowing if he was being pulled to safety, or being pushed over. And with the way Severus was acting since James had taken the time to know him, it was even harder to predict exactly what the Slytherin would do.

_No. Neither can I… Its killing us both._

James stopped, having walked into someone. He glanced up to apologise, but his breath caught in his throat at the sight of Severus. He was disgruntled and his face was set in stone; hard and cold…. It was beautiful.

_Even after everything, it seems we can't settle our differences._

"Severus."

_Even if you hate me, I can't stop this feeling._

"James."

_You've got this image of me being the worst of the worst._

"You look tired."

_We're bound together_

"So do you."

_I hate you for it_

"Severus."

_You don't even need to get your revenge anymore, do you?_

"I have to go."

_You killed me when I realised I'd have to depend on you._

James stood in the corridor, watching the Slytherin's back walk away from him. He didn't regret a single moment of it, except that he was letting Severus slip away.

**One more chapter to go. Somehow I feel a little sad to see this story finishing. I have to wonder if anyone would want me to post my notes for this story, and a complete list of all the stupid Nicknames Sirius uses during this story. **

**At the end of the next chapter I'd like to run through an idea with everyone, for another Marauder Fic, and I would appreciate it, once I've explained the concept, if readers of this story would give me their opinion on it in a review or a PM. Would that be okay?**

**Please review!**

**~Od23**


	34. Chapter 34

-1**Dependence**

**SSJP Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not making any money from this.**

**Urgh, ya know when you look at a blank piece of paper to start the next chapter, and your inspiration levels go from 100 percent to negative ten? That's what happened with this chapter, so sorry for the delay.**

**The Final Chapter. Please look out at the end for my next story ideas, and give me your opinions.**

Chapter 34 - Dependence

The three days stretching between the day after the full moon; Tuesday - the day Sirius had left, and Friday - the day James would find out, one way or the other, whether he would live or die, we're made impossibly longer by the close air of early summer. All around the castle, people were sneezing with hay-fever, or shredding their clothes and complaining about how the weather was making it hard to breathe. It took every drop of self-control for James not to loose his cool. Despite the growing heat in his weakening body, he refused to act any less then normal around Remus and Lily - who had barely left his side since Sirius had left.

On Tuesday, immediately after Sirius was out of sight - but before seeing Severus in the corridor, he'd sent the Black Heir a letter, using a school owl. He knew, of course, that the letter would only arrive at the Black Family Home, at the earliest; Saturday. Then it would have to be inspected by a range of Black-owned House Elves, and only then would Sirius finally be allowed to read it. Yet, the act of writing down all his frustrations in a letter to his best friend had calmed him - and he was oddly resigned to the fact that Friday might be his last day on Earth. At least, if he did die, Sirius would know that James had always been his Partner in Crime, and he would have something to remember him by.

On Wednesday, he sent a letter to his parents, using Lily's owl. He was assured the Tawny was one of the fastest birds in the sky. He wasn't sure when his parents would receive the news, and although he'd procrastinated sending the letter, he silently prayed they'd somehow find a way to be there with him on Friday - that's what parents did right? Perform miracles.

It was on Thursday that he was summoned to Dumbledore's office. Sitting on his side of the headmasters desk, he truly looked at the man in front of him; grey hair which has almost turned completely white; deep laughter lines, and even deeper frown lines; and worst of all - blue eyes with a noticeable lack of twinkle. When did Dumbledore get so… old?

The man placed his elbows on the table, entwined all ten of his fingers together and rested his chin on the bridge they made. James noticed the brown patches of aging freckles around the professor's knuckles. Dumbledore surveyed James over the top of half-moon glasses, and while James was used to this action, he wasn't used to the uncustomary stab of guilt that attacked him when he looked at the old man's tired eyes.

"James." The man said, his voice so low and breathless it struck a chord of sympathy within James the way only old people's exhausted voices do. James bowed his head. Had they done this? Had they been the ones to erase the old coots usual twinkle? All the damn mess they had created this year - had it finally become the trigger that lead to this legendary man's defeat? He felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder.

"I've always thought of every student that have walked through these halls as a child of my own." he paused, "Perhaps a grandchild as of late."

James shook his head, hands flat against his thighs in an attempt to keep his nerves in check. What was Dumbledore saying? Surely he already knew that pretty much every student in the school looked up to him. He was their role-model. Was he looking for confirmation?

"Peter is gone." The old man said, and hushed James as he went to ask questions. "He left last night - I believe it was in order to join forces with Voldemort."

James shivered - he knew it was stupid, but that name was cursed. Strangely, he was eerily calm with this realisation about Peter. Somehow he felt like he should have seen this coming - like life hadn't screwed him around enough.

"That's just peachy." He said, sarcasm dripping from every word. "Two of my best friends almost killed the man I love, the other's a death eater - and I _never_ got the deal in paper like you said, so chances are I'm going to die tomorrow!" he brought the back of his hands up to rub at his eyes. "This is just fucking peachy."

Fawkes found this an opportune moment to land on James shoulder, and the Gryffindor felt hot, wet phoenix tears hit his lap. He snorted in hollow amusement.

"I appreciate the gesture mate." he said, gently stroking the gold and red feathers with the back of his hand, "But I don't think those tears heal wounds of the heart."

- X -

The next day, James found himself in a position he knew all too well. The heat was creeping in. Before he had been sluggish in his thoughts that Friday would see his end, yet today he could barely move - for the heat and the blatant fear. Of course, when asked he repeated that he was fine, yet, when morning came and he didn't receive the usual pain killer, it was the confirmation James needed, that he wouldn't live much past eight o' clock tonight. He tried to act brave, for he was a Gryffindor after all - but how many of us can truly say they can stare death in the face and not be phased?

It soon became to unbearable for him to stand, and by half past seven, half an hour from the deadline, he felt as if he was burning from the inside. His parents hadn't arrived that day, and although Remus and Lily were sat at his bedside, he felt completely alone. He was going to die… there was no words to describe what he was feeling - a strange calm, not accepting, but defeated.

"James." Said Remus, trying to keep the boy in consciousness, since James had been slipping in an out of it all day. He couldn't see Remus at all, yet he could hear perfectly fine. His mouth was dry, but he still opened it to respond.

"This is my fault." he rasped out, making Lily shake her head defiantly - though he couldn't see it. He carried on, oblivious to her actions, and fighting through the pain it caused his throat to speak. "I depended too much on him… I should have… I don't know, found out how to make the Elixir for myself." He coughed, making Remus lean forward and try to help him get comfortable - unfortunately, James wasn't comfortable anywhere at that moment.

"James, this isn't your fault, how could you have known you'd get ill." Lily said, and James could hear the tears in her. It was ridiculous, that the only time she showed any form of caring for him, was after he'd given up on her.

"It's my fault for falling for a guy like that." he said, glad he couldn't see their response. Although he was sure they would have already figured it out, it wasn't something you admitted every day. He wanted them to know, before he died. At least then he wouldn't feel like he'd been lying to them this whole time. He flinched, without truly having the energy for it, when the door burst open.

"James!" said a loud voice, rushing forwards. James gently toyed with the idea of it being Severus, coming to the rescue, but instantly recognised the voice as Sirius's.

"What are you doing back here?" asked Remus' voice. Sirius must've shrugged - that's what he always did when asked anything. James remembered him doing it a lot during lessons. Funny, he mused - was this God's idea of his life flashing past his eyes? Remembering Sirius shrug a lot? Despite himself, he smiled.

"I just got James' letter - that's one fucking fast owl - and mum was unusual nice about it, told me to piss off back to school." he stopped, gave a short laugh, "Not like I was arguing, be able to get out of that house was brilliant!"

James felt a hand on his forehead.

"You're burning up mate." Sirius said, "Too bad Severus doesn't think you're this hot." he joked, and James grinned, trying not to show how much pain he was in. He heard Lily mumble something like 'insensitive', but he knew Sirius was just trying to lighten the mood. That's what Sirius did - make inappropriate jokes in inappropriate situations.

"Depended too much." James repeated, coughing slightly, and turning over (with lots of effort) to spit out blood. Sirius stepped back, taking in the smell of blood, sweat and tears. The room really was like a deathbed.

"People are always saying 'only ever depend on yourself, and that way you wont be disappointed.' - Yet, I feel if everyone lived by that philosophy, we'd be a very solitary race."

Two boys and one girl looked up to find Severus standing in the doorway. He was even paler then normal, and his hair was damp and lank. He leant against the frame, and stuck a hand in the pocket of his Muggle jeans. It was unusual to see Snape in anything other then his cloak, but here he was, in a light green tee-shit and jeans, fiddling with something in his pocket.

"What are you doing here, if you're not going to save him?" Spat Lily, anger flowing through her. How dare he show up here when he'd let James get to this state? How much torture had Severus put James through?

"I thought I'd want to see my revenge." He answered, glancing over at James' weak, broken body. "He's truly quite pathetic isn't he?" he said, and dodged as Sirius went to swing at him.

"I don't care Snape, I'll beat you to death this time - how can you call this revenge? Haven't you done enough?" Severus dodge easily as Sirius went to swing again, and pushed the boy against the wall.

"Hear me out." he said, checking his watch. "I still have 27 minutes to change my mind." he added. Sirius spat at the floor.

"What can we do?" said Remus, "to make you change your mind?"

Severus smirked.

"Just listen to me." he said, and with the affirmative nod, he made his way in to the room and sat down on the edge of James' bed.

"People on a whole hate to admit it," he started, "But we're pack animals. Like wolves, ironically. I say ironically because while humans and wolves share the common factor of being pack animals - having lots of friends and depending on our families - Lupin, a werewolf (so part human and part wolf), isn't truly excepted by either group, is he?"

Lily had gasped at the realisation of Remus' secret, but said nothing more, and Severus didn't seem to care that he had just told another person about Remus' furry little problem. He looked at James - sweaty and breathing heavily, but trying desperately to listen.

"He's shunned and ridiculed, yet the fact of the matter is, if they needed help, Lupin would be there for an animal of either group, no matter how much they abused him. It's pathetic, and makes me sick to my stomach." He ignored the fact that Remus was feeling a little insulted. "Enough about Lupin though, since this isn't really about Lupin. It's about James and I, stupidly. We're two boys who tried to overcome their differences and along the way realised that we were depending on each other. Both of us. James depends on me to keep him alive, and I in turn depend on him - because we're bound together."

_We're bound together._

"It's what human's do, we depend on each other. You, Black, you depend on you're marauder buddies on anchor you to Gryffindor, don't you? And Lupin, you depend on the same people to keep you sane during the full moons. Lily… even you've been depending on Sirius all this year to keep you from losing contact with your sister… am I right?"

He waited while the occupants of the room reluctantly nodded.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just… human." He sighed. "This story is told to the extremes. A dying bully having to depend on his ex-victim to survive, and somewhere in the mix, he went and fell for me. All those twists and turns, they served to spice it up a bit, but Dependence is all about characteristics, and could have been present in any story which has human characters. Dependence comes from the very core of our being.

"When a young girl tells her friend of the time what boy she likes at the time, she depends on that friend not to tell anyone. She trusts her. When a young boy tells his teacher that another boy put a grasshopper in his hair, he depends on the teacher to sort the situation out - preferably by getting rid of the grasshopper. When a child runs to their mother with a scraped knee, they depend on their mother to make it feel better again. Once we get older and steal out first kiss from someone we trust, we depend on our partner to respond and tell us that what we're doing in okay. When he get to college, or even just school, we depend on our teachers to give us the information we need to pass our exams. When we go to a job interview, we depend on the employer to employ us. Even in every day things, like on the road, we depend on the actions of others to keep everyone safe." He paused. "Any questions?"

Everyone shook their head, and James gave a strangled laugh, coughing and crying slightly. Severus gave a sincere smile, then carried on;

"Dependence forms the very essence of our relationships with other people. Would you see someone hanging off the edge of a cliff, screaming for help, and simply leave them because they should have only depended on themselves in the first place? No, you wouldn't. I know you wouldn't. Whether you are running on adrenaline, or paralyzed with fear, we always find a way to help out our peers. Our pack. Even if they were a total stranger. Even if they were an enemy… Our human hearts sympathise too easily. We question ourselves, asking; what would happen if I was in that situation? Would people leave me? Perhaps it's curiosity, perhaps it's an idle daydream, perhaps it's a sympathetic gesture. Or perhaps, it's that deep down we realise that the human race depends on each other.

"Furthermore - it goes beyond humans depending on each other. Nature depends on the actions of others. Humans, animals, plants - the very breeze! It's all relative in the great circle of things.

"It could be argued that somewhere, hidden, there are entities - immortals or Gods, that are beyond this cycle. Maybe they laugh at us pitiful mortals, because they have the pleasure of being able to depend solely on themselves. It's an enviable image. However, the fact of the matter is - we are mere humans, and we do have to depend on others. Even if we were able to skim it down to the basics, we'd still depend on other animals for food, and those animals would have to depend on plants for nourishment. Those plants depend on the sun for photosynthesis, and that sun depends on the gravitational pull and the orbit of the universe to keep doing what it does best - being a giant ball of gas that radiates heat energy.

"Perhaps the universe is the route of this 'evil' called dependence, but no, even that universe might depend on the other universes around it. Maybe there is no source. There may be no starting point, telling us when dependence began. We could keep tracing it back to the very beginnings of time, when the future ends, and still we might never know. It's inevitable that we just accept that dependence if a part of us. No… is us. We're defined by our relationships with others, how we act with the people around us. Those actions are based off how much be depend on that person - subconsciously -. So, I feel justified to say that the immortal dependence is one and the same as us mortal humans."

He paused, sighed, and checked his watch.

"Just something to mull over." He said, bringing a small vile out his pocket. He pointed his wand at it and everyone watched as it grew into a sealed container of potion. He uncapped it, and checked his watch again. "Two minutes James." He said to the boy, who was finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

"Why?" The boy rasped out, whining pitifully at the intense heat.

"Because." Severus replied. "We're bound together. I depend on you as much as you depend on me. I don't know if this is _love_ or not, but… If I let you die, who would I have to torture?"

James let out a pained laugh, and Severus checked his watch one more time before tipping the potion into the boys open mouth.

- X -

"You know this deal is still on, and I have the perfect order in mind for you right now." He said, once James was able to move again, the next day. They'd caught each other in the hallway. Sirius was back home, and Remus was off with Lily, so James had bumped into Severus on his own. James nodded.

"What?" He asked, trying to act like he didn't care. Severus grabbed his shoulder, pulling his forward.

"Kiss me."

***twitch***

**I spent since Thursday writing and re-writing this chapter like, 10 times! And I still don't like it… but… at least it managed to finish it this time. **

**I had a review on my last chapter saying how she wished something would happen to Sev, then he might not be able to do the potion, but he swooped in at the last minute and saved the day, and I was like 'o.0 omfg she knew my plot!' but then again… it was kind of an obvious plot. XD**

**So, this is it folks. *smile***

**Who wants to give me some opinions on the next stories I plan on writing for the Harry Potter fandom? I have a choice of two:**

**The first is to explore the idea that one destination has many paths leading to it. So, when God decides where you'll end up in life, he doesn't really care how you get there… It would basically be about what would happen if the Marauder's hadn't met on that fateful train ride on their first year. And would travel with them through the years, until they somehow end up in exactly the same position, and would explore the different ways in which they could have gotten to that terrible night of Halloween. This would be a huge project, and might very well take me YEARS, but I'm willing to do it if people are interested.**

**The next revolves around the Black sisters; Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa. Mainly Narcissa. It would be told from Narcissa's point of view, as she looks at her older sisters - Bella and Andromeda. One who followed the dark arts because of her family, and one who followed her heart. It would tell the story of how she came to be with Lucius. I've been researching the Black family tree, and there's loads of interesting stories and plot twists I can put in this one. **

**So, do they sound interesting? If so, which one would you want to see first?**


End file.
